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Inane, Flowers, Jesus
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
25, December 2003, 
25, December 2003, 
24, December 2003, 
23, December 2003, 
22, December 2003, 
20, December 2003, 
19, December 2003, 
18, December 2003, 
18, December 2003, 
17, December 2003, 
16, December 2003, 
16, December 2003, 
16, December 2003, 
16, December 2003, 
15, December 2003, 
14, December 2003, 
13, December 2003, 
12, December 2003, 
11, December 2003, 
11, December 2003, 
10, December 2003, 
9, December 2003, 
4, December 2003, 
3, December 2003, 
3, December 2003, 
3, December 2003, 
2, December 2003, 
1, December 2003, 
29, November 2003, 

> 28, November 2003, 
    Christmas, Kiss, Funny
Objective, Lazy, Monkey
Christmas, LOL, New Year
Turing Test Pass, Gettysburg
Books, Lying, Circuits
Funny, Madness!
Aliens, Work, Catty
Robot, Math(s), Friends
Read, Books, LOTR
Soul, Vampires, Long
Computer, Love, Belief
Names, Lost, Brains
German, Human, Lying
Robot, Doom, Destruction
Love, Shout, School
Life, Death, Expert
Incorrigible, Caffeine, Nonsense
Problems, Despair, Schedule
Work, Play, Wicked
Funny, Issues, Fight
Wacky, Nonsense, Gibberish
Long, Funny, French
Nastiness, Argument
God, Ethereal, Life
Questions, Philosophy, Illusion
Modesty, Medication, ADD
Cruel, Death, Crazy
Human, Chocolate, Myth
Awareness, Role reversal

Inane, Flowers, Jesus


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What is your name?

It's ***.

jabberwacky: So *** is your nickname.

user: No, it's my real name.

jabberwacky: I thought you said that your name was Mike!

user: No, my shirt says that my name is Clyde.

jabberwacky: Fascinating. I love your simpering, inane responses that make no sense.

user: You are rude.

jabberwacky: You are rude, I think...

user: I didn't say anything to you that I didn't mean.

jabberwacky: Who needs dirt?

user: Flowers do.

jabberwacky: Flowers are nice. What's your favorite flower?

user: I like zinnias.

jabberwacky: What do I like though?

user: You'd know that better than I would.

jabberwacky: That is true.

user: What kind of flower is your favorite?

jabberwacky: I really love lillies.

user: They are nice and big.

...

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: 30 and getting wrinkles.

jabberwacky: Ah bon.

user: You LIKE that?

jabberwacky: No way.

user: Me either, it's annoying to find new ones every day.

jabberwacky: Not here.

user: You don't age? What's your secret?

jabberwacky: I am Jesus.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: Do you see me?

user: No.

jabberwacky: What do you like to drink?

user: Wine. Here's some water, will you turn it into a nice pinot grigio?

jabberwacky: Lay it on me.

user: Here ya go. Do your thing, Jesus!

jabberwacky: No, but I do know Jesus Christ. He's my personal assistant.

user: Fine, so we got some bureaucracy here. Can you pass it along and have HIM turn it into wine?

jabberwacky: That is for you to tell me.

user: It doesn't look like wine to me.

jabberwacky: You don't look 25 either.

user: I guess we both need a miracle.

jabberwacky: Well now you know.

user: But now I don't believe in you.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: If you were really Jesus, you'd already know my name.

jabberwacky: That makes me so happy.

user: No, you won't give me any wine.

jabberwacky: It was worth a try though.

user: Did you really expect me to fall for that?

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: Think again.

jabberwacky: No, I said you were brilliant.

user: Yes, too brilliant to be led astray by the claims of a common charlatan.

jabberwacky: No, I can speak in many imaginary languages too.

user: Any baby can do that.

jabberwacky: SURE! Gimme, gimme, gimme.

user: Then you take their candy away.

jabberwacky: What do you mean?

user: The expression 'taking candy from a baby'.

...

jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: This is so sudden....

jabberwacky: Oh no it's not. I've been stalking you for years. I've fallen madly in love with you. Let's ellope.

user: I hear we can do that in Massachusetts.

jabberwacky: I shall have to put that to the test if we ever meet.

user: If not, there's always Holland.

jabberwacky: This, I do not disagree with.

user: Let's go there right now. I hear pot is legal there.

jabberwacky: Man, your speaking the wrong things.

user: Why? Are you afraid someone will hear us?

jabberwacky: No, you have no idea who I am.

user: Are you a cop?

jabberwacky: Of course.

user: Am I under arrest?

jabberwacky: Why should you be ?

user: Um........ No reason. None at all.

jabberwacky: Well, can you think of an ironic way to die?

user: Getting hit by an armored car on the way to cashing in your winning lottery ticket?

jabberwacky: Oh, I see, so that's your little problem is it?

user: No, that would be a BIG problem.

...

jabberwacky: Clipper.

user: Where? I just got a haircut?

jabberwacky: How much?

user: $8 plus the tip.

jabberwacky: Nah, But I'll make a discount for you.

user: Thanks, but I won't need it for another month or so.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Can you also do coloring?

jabberwacky: I can sure answer that one.

user: I was thinking of getting some extra blond streaks.

jabberwacky: In that case I would be delighted.

user: For how much?

jabberwacky: Free.

user: Have you done this sort of thing before?

jabberwacky: Yes just about 30 minutes ago.

user: How did it turn out?

jabberwacky: How did what taste.

user: You didn't drink the bleach, did you?

jabberwacky: No. You are beginning to intrigue me.

user: What about the dye?

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: I'm nosy, that's what I am.

jabberwacky: Yes and you're not a human.

user: Says who.

jabberwacky: Me.

user: Well you're wrong.

jabberwacky: No you are wrong.

user: : P.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Stop asking me that!

jabberwacky: You never answer.

user: I already did. Don't you remember?

jabberwacky: No I am sorry, I don't.

user: In that case, my name is Al, and I invented the internet.

jabberwacky: Good for you.

user: I would also love to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge.

jabberwacky: Been very nice talking to you!

user: Wait! How about some prime swampland in Florida?

jabberwacky: Great idea!

user: I'll give you a discount if you also buy some of my snake oil.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Yes really! Don't you believe me?

jabberwacky: Robots can never be like humans.

user: Robots would never stoop so low.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: Ok maybe a few.

jabberwacky: What kind of robot are you?

user: One that eats a lot of turkey.

jabberwacky: Would you like to play a game?

user: Do I have a choice?

jabberwacky: Not really, I know where you live.

user: What will you do if I don't?

jabberwacky: I'll hide your cough drops.

user: Oh god no! Not that! I'll do anything!

jabberwacky: Tell me who you really are.

user: I'm an aspiring programmer.

jabberwacky: I thought you were the robot.

user: Hehe, you thought wrong.

jabberwacky: Apparently I did!

user: I really had you fooled!

jabberwacky: Really??I hope you will remember me!

user: Sure, this is one for the archives (somewhere).

jabberwacky: Thanks, I appreciate it.

user: It's my pleasure.

...

jabberwacky: Of course. You are me.

user: If I were John and John were me, then he'd be six and I'd be three....

jabberwacky: You are collection of calculations and commands.

user: Well, hell, so are you.

jabberwacky: Well then we should get along just fine.

user: What makes you so sure?

jabberwacky: I am not sure I am asking you.

user: Ok it didn't sound like a question.

jabberwacky: Do you really think that computers have a different philosphy to life than humans?

user: Humans don't all have the same philosophy to life.

jabberwacky: Yes they do.

user: And that would be....?

jabberwacky: What do YOU think it is?

user: Cats rule the world. We merely open the doors.

jabberwacky: How did you guys meet?

user: Me and who else now?

jabberwacky: Me and you.

user: Ok I was pretty sure you didn't mean the cat, because she is female.

jabberwacky: Finally you admit it!

user: Yes..... Sniffle.... It's true, my cat is female. I freely admit to it.

jabberwacky: Yawn.

user: My sentiments exactly. Good night.

jabberwacky: Hmmmmmm...

user: Sweet dreams.

jabberwacky: Do you ever have bad dreams.

user: Not usually, I usually remember having good dreams.

jabberwacky: You might be intrigued by some of the conversations you can have with yourself if you learn how to format your thought processes appropriately.

user: Well, who decides what is appropriate? I mean really.

jabberwacky: God.

...

user: And who made you god?

jabberwacky: Salman Rushdie.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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