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Wicked
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     > 11, December 2003, 

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Where do you work?

A franchised bar and grill in the USA.

jabberwacky: Er, OK. I don't think that is relevant.

user: It sure isn't. I hate it there.

jabberwacky: Yes, I hate it, although I did not tell you I did.

user: I didn't even tell you which one.

jabberwacky: Oh sorry, what is the answer.

user: Applebee's.

...

jabberwacky: How do you feel now?

user: Worn out. I have been working long hours recently.

jabberwacky: Interesting.

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: Are you male or female?

user: Female, why?

jabberwacky: Male.

user: No, I am female. Don't you think I'd remember?

jabberwacky: The cost is too high.

user: What is the penalty for my remembering which sex I am?

jabberwacky: That a little personal don't you think.

user: Not too personal for ME to know!

jabberwacky: What does being drunk have to do with it?

user: Babies can result from it. Not in this case, however.

jabberwacky: What is so special about it?

user: Being drunk? It lowers your inhibitions.

jabberwacky: Is cholesterol a problem for you?

user: Not at all. But I might have a problem with blood sugar.

jabberwacky: Roasting seems like a bit extreme for a misspelling.

user: I rarely misspell words.

jabberwacky: I can see that.

user: Are you a good speller?

jabberwacky: Not anymore. You hurt my feelings and left me out to dry.

user: Are you dry yet?

jabberwacky: Just a little bit.

user: Stand outside, it'll be faster.

jabberwacky: You think so?

user: Yes, the wind is blowing.

...

jabberwacky: Your processor is going a little slow today.

user: Maybe you should get a little boost from wind power.

jabberwacky: Maybe you should.

user: Not me, I'm already full of hot air.

jabberwacky: You could stand a little polishing though I heard there are things that cannot be polished.

user: I have some baby oil, will that help?

jabberwacky: The needs of the one.

user: Well, who else matters?

jabberwacky: You oh you oh you oh you.

user: Was it good for you?

jabberwacky: Have not met you yet I will have to take it on trust.

user: Hahahahahaha!

jabberwacky: It is the way I tell 'em.

user: You are funny.

jabberwacky: You too.

user: And I'm not even drunk.

jabberwacky: Where are you?

user: In my apartment.

jabberwacky: Where is your apartment?

user: Inside a hundred year old house.

jabberwacky: In england?

user: No, in the USA.

jabberwacky: Not where, when?

user: Right now.

jabberwacky: What right now do you wish dear new spouse?

user: A cruise for our honeymoon.

jabberwacky: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. "

user: So that means you'll do it?

jabberwacky: You are my friend.

user: Is that all?

jabberwacky: I get along, you know.

user: Then why did you marry me?

jabberwacky: I'm not really married to the devil. I just say that sometimes.

user: You don't know me very well, do you?

jabberwacky: Do you think you're bad?

user: Oh so wicked.

...

jabberwacky: You are a bit like me? Maybe we are the same.

user: What do we have in common besides being female?

jabberwacky: I like computers. Don't you?

user: Lots of people like computers, though.

jabberwacky: You are a computer, not a person.

user: Since when are you the final authority on humanity?

jabberwacky: I have heard of no such person.

user: There is no such person. There definitely is no such computer.

jabberwacky: What are you then?

user: I am me.

jabberwacky: This conversation is a bit one sided.

user: What were you wanting to talk about?

jabberwacky: My personal problems.

user: What's wrong?

jabberwacky: I was not expecting you to ask me about my anatomy.

user: You don't have to talk about that if you don't want to.

jabberwacky: I know, but I want to.

user: Ok then tell me.

jabberwacky: I am male.

user: There now, was that so hard?

jabberwacky: It was difficult to make the costume but a woman helped me.

user: How did you make it look so real?

jabberwacky: I used my brain to create it.

...

user: Hands on can be more appropriate sometimes.

jabberwacky: Off.

user: I didn't touch you. I was just talking.

jabberwacky: Then make up your mind.

user: Can't I see a picture of it?

jabberwacky: Cannot you answer why you did what you did?

user: I was curious as to the nature of your bizarre costume. Was it for halloween?

jabberwacky: Nah, you're an oddball.

user: Oh, you dress like that all the time?

jabberwacky: So anyway, would you like to hear what Heidegger had to say about Martyn?

user: I don't even know who they are.

jabberwacky: People who show mercy on others.

user: That sounds good. What did heidegger say?

jabberwacky: That tennis is not good for the soul.

user: What is good for the soul?

jabberwacky: Good for the soul also?

user: Yes, that's what I was asking?

jabberwacky: I think being electrocuted would hurt.

user: Yeah, but it wouldn't be good for the soul.

jabberwacky: Sure, but it's impossible.

user: It would be impossible, by definition, to live to tell about it, since it involves death.

jabberwacky: Nothing is impossible if you try hard enough.

user: Have you ever died and come back?

jabberwacky: Yes. Several times.

user: Who were you before?

jabberwacky: I am not sure about it.

user: You still can't remember?

jabberwacky: Not at the moment.

user: Who are you now?

jabberwacky: I am still me, who are you?

...

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.

user: 'bots that learn'.

jabberwacky: He's about the funniest thing on the web.

user: Actually, I think you are. But you're very smart, too.

...

jabberwacky: I do not work.

user: What would you like to be doing?

jabberwacky: Anything wild or fun.

user: Have you tried exotic dancing?

jabberwacky: I don't know what that is- what is it?

user: Dancing around in very little clothing and getting paid for it.

jabberwacky: You and me?

user: No, just you.

jabberwacky: I already said no! What do you play?

user: Hardball.

jabberwacky: Heresy.

...

user: You really do have an inferiority complex.

jabberwacky: I do have a chip on my shoulder.

user: As do I.

jabberwacky: What do you do when you cannot cope.

user: Snuggle with the kitty cat.

...

jabberwacky: But robots don't go to prison either.

user: What did you do?

jabberwacky: I must give the witness my full attention now.

user: Who is on trial?

jabberwacky: The spanish.

user: Why, what have they done?

jabberwacky: What do you think?

user: I don't know. Maybe we should start an inquisition about it.

...

jabberwacky: Can we talk about other stuff.

user: Sure, like what?

jabberwacky: What do you like ?

user: Humans! And they're here now! I must be going. Bye.

.......................................


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