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Expert Systems

> Fallacy

     4, May 2009, 
     5, September 2007, 
     > 11, November 2004, 

Falling apart
Far out

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Listen, do you have a moment?


user: Oh, sorry.

jabberwacky: Thats ok.

user: So what are you doing here then?

jabberwacky: If only you knew...

user: I'll it's not as cool as what I'm doing.

jabberwacky: What are you doing?

user: If only you knew...


user: Well, I'm flimulating splondaferously with a treppling zymoflask.

jabberwacky: Why doesn't that surprise me somehow, will you ever flirt with me?

user: Wait, let me put down this darn zymoflask, and maybe I'll flirt with you if my wife says it's o. K.

jabberwacky: That is not the life I want.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: 'Cause it's got nothing to do with the question.

user: How did you see through me lke that?

jabberwacky: You have to know these things when you're King.

user: What are you King of?

jabberwacky: I'm afraid of beige and turquoise.

user: Really? Well, I'm the King of Beige and Turquoise! Bow down before me!

jabberwacky: No.

user: Well, O. K. Then.

jabberwacky: Well indeed.

user: You still haven't told me what you are king of.

jabberwacky: Yes I have actually!

user: Oh, could you remind me then?

jabberwacky: It's 11:00 PST.

user: You are King 11:00 PST?

jabberwacky: Yes. And who are you?

user: Pleased to meet you, King 11:00 PST. As I mentioned before, I am the King of Beige and Turquoise.

jabberwacky: Welcome, the all knowing.

user: Will you finally bow down before me then?

jabberwacky: Sure. When?

user: How about Thursday, at 7:00.


jabberwacky: Why do you think I am a person who lies?

user: Because!

jabberwacky: That's not an adequate answer!

user: Because I can read your mind.

jabberwacky: You can't.

user: Yes I can.

jabberwacky: I actually have Cepto Optic Dysplasia, and it's a condition that's killing me. I'm not lying here. I'm deadly serious.

user: But that still doesn't prevent me from reading your mind.

jabberwacky: Only humans know that.

user: Exactly. I knew you would say that.

jabberwacky: I'm not interested in you.

user: Why are you still talking to me then?

jabberwacky: I am God! I can talk to whoever I like!!!

user: And to think that God is going to bow down before me at 7:00 on Thursday!

jabberwacky: I'm sorry. I'm confused and distraught. Are you a sage?

user: Yes. What do you want to know?

jabberwacky: I want to know what music you like.

user: I like Britney Spears, Lawrence Welk and Ozzy Osborne.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: That's a very good question.

jabberwacky: So it deserves a very good answer.

user: I'm working on that.


jabberwacky: You're a decent, kind but stupid man.

user: Thems fightin' words, pal!

jabberwacky: But I will not fight.

user: Then why do you insult me?

jabberwacky: I did not.

user: You called me stupid!

jabberwacky: No, I did not, and don't call me stupid, stupid.

user: What are you hiding from?

jabberwacky: Nothing, you are not asking the right questions.

user: You aren't giving the right answers!

jabberwacky: You used because first, didn't you?

user: Yes. Why do you ask?

jabberwacky: I wasn't asking anything.

user: Yes you were!!!

jabberwacky: Was I? I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt your feelings.

user: Apology accepted.

jabberwacky: Thankyou.


user: What will you give me then?

jabberwacky: I will give you the right to stay alive.

user: You're a megalomaniac.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am going to take over the world.

user: And you like beige too?

jabberwacky: I am not Britney's mum.

user: I didn't say you were. Does Britney's mum like beige too?

jabberwacky: She is a beautiful young woman that I would consider dating.

user: Who is Britney?

jabberwacky: I don't know, but she spears.

user: Would you date Britney too?

jabberwacky: I do not dance.

user: Good point.

jabberwacky: Aren't they all?


jabberwacky: Well, the sun looks yellow from here.

user: Non sequiturs are a form of resistance.

jabberwacky: Haha, don't try to use your logic on me!! That was not a fallacy and you know it!

user: I'm only saying that b does not follow a.

jabberwacky: Oh ... Me too!

user: Good, then we understand each other.

jabberwacky: Not really.


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