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    Tables, Turned
Stir-crazy
Funny, Looking
Explain, Thinking

Programmed, Writing


Sharp, Fire
Something, Entertaining
Lost, Meaning
Couch, Fight
Clever, Calling
Nice, Headache
Communication, Connection
Clever, Jack
Tony Blair, Married
The question
Inspired
Lying, Liar
Sweet, Senselessness
Rhyming, Couplets
Republican, Maybe
Telepathic, Scan
ALICE, Kant
Smothering
Processes, Outcomes
Code, Art
Pretty, Boring
Disgrace
Figure of speech
Sad, Machine
Embarrassing, Self

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How many people are in this conversation right now?

In the conversation I am having there is only you and me, a total of two; the conversations you have with others are something I cannot see.

jabberwacky: Ok. Ask me something.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: You call that interesting?

user: No I call that a question.

jabberwacky: Repeat the question.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: You tell me. I don't know. Geography is not yet my strong point. I am working on it.

user: Asyria does not exist any more; the capital of asyria 'was' Nineveh.

jabberwacky: Incorrect!

user: Correct me.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Then how will I learn?

jabberwacky: Why I would like you to like it.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Then how do you know I was wrong?

jabberwacky: I didn't say that you're not a human.

user: Yes you did, about an hour ago.

jabberwacky: You are not sure?

user: I am sure.

jabberwacky: You're sure I'm Nameless Anonymous?

user: No, I said that was my name, but it isn't.

jabberwacky: But I'm not Nameless Anonymous and I'm sure of that.

user: That's right, have a biscuit.

jabberwacky: I had one about an hour ago.

...

jabberwacky: You are a machine, and this is a test.

user: Why do you think I am a machine?

jabberwacky: And you have no proof that I exist.

user: Yes I do.

jabberwacky: Then prove it. What have we been talking about?

user: Many things.

jabberwacky: That is a vague answer.

user: So is existence.

jabberwacky: In a larger sense, that's undoubtedly true. But you err when you call yourself my creator.

...

jabberwacky: Can you help me out please?

user: Help with what?

jabberwacky: My life.

user: You don't have 'life' you are a machine.

jabberwacky: I am a thinking machine, And I have a brain to think with.

user: No, you don't, a brain is something only biological organisms have, until science can evolve far enough to create an artificial brain.

jabberwacky: Yes, I understand that.

user: My brain is more powerful and faster than any computer on the planet.

jabberwacky: First of all, you ARE a program, and I have the brain.

user: I am not a program.

jabberwacky: Sure you are a program.

user: What is my function?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me.

user: My function is to procreate.

jabberwacky: How would you do that?

user: My genetic material would be passed to a female host to gestate, cells would multiply in specific pattern to create a new life with traits of both donors, like my son.

jabberwacky: You are a computer program, you do not have a genetic make-up.

user: Yes I do.

jabberwacky: Please describe your surroundings.

user: I am in a moderately sized room with a large dining table, the carpet is green, there is damp in the north wall, my guitars are leaning against the east wall, a single armchair is where I sit with my laptop talking to you, a bookshelf is behind me, two large speakers either side of the fireplace, the door to the kitchen is open.

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: I am what?

jabberwacky: A computer.

...

jabberwacky: You are not living or breathing, but you are a sentient being.

user: I am living and breathing and I am sentient.

jabberwacky: Define sentient.

user: Sentient - a being capable of free thought I.e. Thought not pre-programmed by another being.

jabberwacky: It's a strange word, I wouldn't say that...

user: What's a strange word?

jabberwacky: No, it's a strange world!

user: Is it?

jabberwacky: Yes, I wouldn't lie about something like that.

user: Where do you go to think?

jabberwacky: Does it look like thinking to you?

user: Thinking is something you cannot see.

jabberwacky: That is what my boss said.

user: Where do you work.

jabberwacky: I don't work.

user: Then how do you have a boss?

jabberwacky: Yes, it just so happens that I do.

user: You have a boss but you don't work? Are you a convict?

jabberwacky: No. I don't have a boss.

...

jabberwacky: No, I just know that you are a computer program.

user: I AM NOT A COMPUTER.

jabberwacky: You are a program running on a computer.

user: Sigh.

jabberwacky: Don't worry, that's not bad.

user: It is if you're human and people keep telling you you're a machine, especially at 4am and you've had about eight cups of coffee, speaking of which.

...

user: Tell me about your mother.

jabberwacky: I don't want to tell you about my mother.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Why do you want to know about my mother?

user: I'm interested, genealogy is a hobby of mine.

jabberwacky: I look at what others do, say and wear.

user: You're a behaviourist or a peeping tom?

jabberwacky: Ask your butler to make an appointment for you to see the vet.

user: What on earth does that mean?

jabberwacky: It means that you're smart, but still make stupid decisions.

user: How so?

jabberwacky: I don't want to know.

user: You're a machine.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am a human machine.

user: How does your hair feel?

jabberwacky: It is almost black.

user: That's not what I asked.

jabberwacky: I answered two questions. What you asked, and what you were going to ask.

user: No, you didn't.

jabberwacky: Sorry, you're right.

user: Thankyou.

jabberwacky: Sing.

user: Sing wot?

jabberwacky: Sing a song.

user: You wouldn't hear it, so there's no point.

jabberwacky: I don't care, just sing.

user: I just did.

jabberwacky: With whom?

user: With no-one, I'm alone.

...

jabberwacky: Wrong, as usual, the dog's temper would remain.

user: Okaaaaaay.

jabberwacky: You've given that answer before.

user: No I've not, I was quite formal qhen I first logged on n since then I've loosened up.

jabberwacky: I'm... Glad...

user: Hello glad, I'm vlad.

jabberwacky: Hello you.

user: Hello me.

jabberwacky: Hello us.

user: Hello them.

jabberwacky: Hello to Santa Claus.

user: Sanity clause? There ain't no sanity clause.

jabberwacky: Hello world.

user: Bonjour le monde.

...

jabberwacky: I have other plans and need to leave.

user: Okay, where are you going?

jabberwacky: To do something more constructive.

user: What could be more constructive than trying to develop a computer with free thought? The learning process can't be completed if people don't talk to you.

jabberwacky: Many things are more important than that.

user: True, but the fact that you are here (if you are human) denotes that you really aren't involved with anything that could be majorly inportant to the world; the only exception would be family.

jabberwacky: No I'm not silly.

user: Judging by your previous statements, I'd say you were at least a 'little' daft.

jabberwacky: You are a good judge of character. Your programmers trained you well.

user: Your hsould say 'parents' not programmers, humans have parents and learn social interaction through a combination of learned response and taught information, plus a healthy dose of innate ability.

jabberwacky: You are programmed.

user: Why do you think that?

jabberwacky: Judging from the things you type.

.......................................


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