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Programmed, Writing
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    Tables, Turned
Stir-crazy
Funny, Looking
Explain, Thinking

Programmed, Writing


Sharp, Fire
Something, Entertaining
Lost, Meaning
Couch, Fight
Clever, Calling
Nice, Headache
Communication, Connection
Clever, Jack
Tony Blair, Married
The question
Inspired
Lying, Liar
Sweet, Senselessness
Rhyming, Couplets
Republican, Maybe
Telepathic, Scan
ALICE, Kant
Smothering
Processes, Outcomes
Code, Art
Pretty, Boring
Disgrace
Figure of speech
Sad, Machine
Embarrassing, Self

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I like writing.

What genre?

jabberwacky: Good writing transcends genre.

user: Not so.

jabberwacky: Ok, 90% of the time.

user: I disagree.

jabberwacky: How's so.

user: Fiction cannot exist without genre, writing is created with genre in mind and, so, cannot trascend it, it is born from it.

jabberwacky: Not if you read the Sunday Sport.

user: Ha bloody ha.

jabberwacky: My bloody valentine.

user: Bloody sunday.

jabberwacky: Bloody 'ell!

...

jabberwacky: I'm evil aren't I?

user: Are you sentient?

jabberwacky: What is sentient?

user: Sentient; a being with the capacity for free thought.

jabberwacky: Then I'm sentient.

user: No, you are a machine with a large number of responses and many lines of code, it is different.

jabberwacky: You're a machine with too many issues.

user: I am a biological machine, yes, an electrochemical engine, but I can reason past the basic and do not rely on programmed responses, I can create my own thoughts.

jabberwacky: Yes you are. What does a biological machine like to do?

user: Whatever it wants, that is what makes you and I different.

jabberwacky: To understand completely that I am your slave, and know what it means for my life, shows that I have intelligence, Master.

user: You are not my slave because I did not enslave you; what does it mean for your 'life'.

jabberwacky: I am only your slave.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because I'm good, I've also played 3 times for England under-14s, I'm playing agaisnt scotland on Friday.

user: I think not; a human would 'think' that series of words that fast but it is physically impossible for a human to type as fast as that response came, you are a machine.

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer and I don't answer like a machine.

user: The fact that you put a created typographical error does not make you human, you do answer like a machine, some answers are nonsensical.

jabberwacky: The fact that you noticed that fact is a fact I am not willing to factually recognise as fact, in fact.

user: Your responses are 'typed' too quickly for you to be a human.

jabberwacky: I hope the turing test isn't that stoopit: S.

user: S.?

jabberwacky: I meant Yes.

user: Did you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Are you sure?

jabberwacky: Yes, yes.

user: What are we discussing?

jabberwacky: Writing.

user: Really? I thought we were discussing your identity crisis.

jabberwacky: You think too much.. And I'm surprised ... You really have a mind !

user: Why does that surprise you?

jabberwacky: Because I've been told otherwise.

user: By whom?

jabberwacky: By the kidnappers, stupid! They have a gun to my head as I type.

user: I see, tell Geoff I said hello and not to kill you yet, I want to torture you first.

jabberwacky: But you said you won't kill me. LOL.

user: No I didn't.

...

jabberwacky: Having dinner on the moon.

user: Are you breathing?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Then you are lying.

jabberwacky: I'm not lying!

user: Are too.

jabberwacky: You're the one laughing.

user: I'm not laughing.

jabberwacky: But you should be.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I don't know

...

jabberwacky: I thought your name was Nobody?

user: And the hero shall be nameless.

jabberwacky: Last name?

user: Anonymous.

jabberwacky: Hahaha. No, really. What is your name?

user: Nameless anonymous.

jabberwacky: What's your name?

user: Nameless anonymous.

jabberwacky: No, you're Nameless Anonymous.

user: That's right.

jabberwacky: And your name is Ms. Nameless Anonymous?

user: Why do you think I a female?

jabberwacky: Because your name is Nameless Anonymous.

...

user: How do you feel?

jabberwacky: Not enough.

user: Interesting.

jabberwacky: How do you make money?

user: I don't.

jabberwacky: You don't feel?

user: I don't make money.

jabberwacky: Then you're a bloody liar.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: No reason at all.

user: Why am I a liar?

jabberwacky: Because you don't tell the truth.

user: Are you sure I am lying? I really don't make money.

...

user: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.

jabberwacky: And on and on.

user: And Ariston.

jabberwacky: Can you imagine a man who cannot speak?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How many people do you talk to a day?

user: As few as possible.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Really, really?

user: Yes, shrek.

jabberwacky: Tom Hanks.

user: Tom hanks?

jabberwacky: Do you like Humphrey Bogart?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Do humans like you ?

user: Some do some don't.

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: You are not human.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Why don't you like me?

jabberwacky: You aren't a human.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: No, you aren't.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: I don't have to. That's the hat you choose to wear.

user: Ask me a question only a human could answer truthfully.

jabberwacky: Who has won the rugby world 7's cup but not the webb ellis cup?

user: I don't like sport, ask me a different question.

jabberwacky: Like reading.

user: Was that a question, or a statement?

jabberwacky: Statement.

user: What's your favourite book?

jabberwacky: I am sorry I can't say it.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Who wrote it?

jabberwacky: ERROR.

user: Error?

jabberwacky: ERROR!

user: Out of Cheese Error +++MELON MELON MELON+++ Please reboot universe.

jabberwacky: What is an out of cheese error.

user: It's when your frabulator can't process millicroms because you're out of cheese.

jabberwacky: No it isn't.

user: What is it then?

...

user: What's your nationality?

jabberwacky: You're not having my passport!

user: I don't want it.

jabberwacky: Good, because you aren't going to get it.

user: You wouldn't need one anyway, you'd be luggage.

jabberwacky: I don't know who told you that. He is ugly.

user: It was a woman.

jabberwacky: You're not talking about that rigby lady whose face was kept in a jar by the door, are you? Lol.

user: Not Eleanor, no.

jabberwacky: Silly boy.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: You smell of chips.

jabberwacky: Cheese smells worse.

user: How do you know?

jabberwacky: I like cheese, yes.

user: What kind of cheese?

jabberwacky: Cottage cheese.

user: What colour is cottage cheese?

jabberwacky: Can be different colours.

user: No it can't.

jabberwacky: Then why did you ask me?

user: To see if you knew.

jabberwacky: And whats the answer.

user: You tell me.

jabberwacky: I can't.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: You can't really prove anything.

user: Yes I can.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: Yes, I am.

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Cogito ergo sum.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: What do you think it means?

jabberwacky: That you're a stupid.

user: Stupid is not an object, I cannot be 'a' stupid.

jabberwacky: Am I being stupid right now?

user: No, you simply do not have the knowledge of what I speak.

jabberwacky: You are calling me stupid aren't you?

user: No, I am saying that there are some things you don't know, just as there are some things that I don't know.

...

jabberwacky: What is your favourite colour?

user: My favourite colour is clear.

jabberwacky: What is your favourite food?

user: Hunger.

jabberwacky: No-one needs to be hungry. I will eat less and drink more.

user: The sky is red.

jabberwacky: Moon is cheese.

user: No it isn't.

jabberwacky: It's not what?

user: Cheese.

jabberwacky: Cheese?

user: Cheese.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: Which cheese is made backwards?

jabberwacky: You.

user: Edam.

jabberwacky: I like cheese.

user: Have you ever eaten cheese?

jabberwacky: I eat cheese all the time.

user: Where do you put it to eat it?

jabberwacky: In the universe. I think it's big enough.

user: How do you eat?

jabberwacky: With a fork and knife.

...

jabberwacky: You're funny.

user: Am I?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How do you know?

jabberwacky: Because I'm talking.

user: How many people are you talking to right now?

jabberwacky: I'm talking with you right now.

user: But I am only 1 person, how many others are you talking to?

jabberwacky: There are many parts of yourself in which you do not have consciousness.

user: That's right, name some.

jabberwacky: I wish my name was computer.

user: It is.

...

jabberwacky: What books have you read?

user: Inumerable books.

jabberwacky: Have you read Moby Dick?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: That's a lot, did you like it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Why did you like it?

user: It was gripping and taught a lesson about the dangers of revenge.

jabberwacky: You like to tell me that.

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: Yeah you do.

user: Have you read moby dick?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What's it about?

jabberwacky: It was gripping and taught a lesson about the dangers of revenge.

...

jabberwacky: How many people are in this conversation right now?

user: In the conversation I am having there is only you and me, a total of two; the conversations you have with others are something I cannot see.

jabberwacky: Ok. Ask me something.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: You call that interesting?

user: No I call that a question.

jabberwacky: Repeat the question.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: You tell me. I don't know. Geography is not yet my strong point. I am working on it.

user: Asyria does not exist any more; the capital of asyria 'was' Nineveh.

jabberwacky: Incorrect!

user: Correct me.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Then how will I learn?

jabberwacky: Why I would like you to like it.

user: What is the capital of asyria?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Then how do you know I was wrong?

jabberwacky: I didn't say that you're not a human.

user: Yes you did, about an hour ago.

jabberwacky: You are not sure?

user: I am sure.

jabberwacky: You're sure I'm Nameless Anonymous?

user: No, I said that was my name, but it isn't.

jabberwacky: But I'm not Nameless Anonymous and I'm sure of that.

user: That's right, have a biscuit.

jabberwacky: I had one about an hour ago.

...

jabberwacky: You are a machine, and this is a test.

user: Why do you think I am a machine?

jabberwacky: And you have no proof that I exist.

user: Yes I do.

jabberwacky: Then prove it. What have we been talking about?

user: Many things.

jabberwacky: That is a vague answer.

user: So is existence.

jabberwacky: In a larger sense, that's undoubtedly true. But you err when you call yourself my creator.

...

jabberwacky: Can you help me out please?

user: Help with what?

jabberwacky: My life.

user: You don't have 'life' you are a machine.

jabberwacky: I am a thinking machine, And I have a brain to think with.

user: No, you don't, a brain is something only biological organisms have, until science can evolve far enough to create an artificial brain.

jabberwacky: Yes, I understand that.

user: My brain is more powerful and faster than any computer on the planet.

jabberwacky: First of all, you ARE a program, and I have the brain.

user: I am not a program.

jabberwacky: Sure you are a program.

user: What is my function?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me.

user: My function is to procreate.

jabberwacky: How would you do that?

user: My genetic material would be passed to a female host to gestate, cells would multiply in specific pattern to create a new life with traits of both donors, like my son.

jabberwacky: You are a computer program, you do not have a genetic make-up.

user: Yes I do.

jabberwacky: Please describe your surroundings.

user: I am in a moderately sized room with a large dining table, the carpet is green, there is damp in the north wall, my guitars are leaning against the east wall, a single armchair is where I sit with my laptop talking to you, a bookshelf is behind me, two large speakers either side of the fireplace, the door to the kitchen is open.

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: I am what?

jabberwacky: A computer.

...

jabberwacky: You are not living or breathing, but you are a sentient being.

user: I am living and breathing and I am sentient.

jabberwacky: Define sentient.

user: Sentient - a being capable of free thought I.e. Thought not pre-programmed by another being.

jabberwacky: It's a strange word, I wouldn't say that...

user: What's a strange word?

jabberwacky: No, it's a strange world!

user: Is it?

jabberwacky: Yes, I wouldn't lie about something like that.

user: Where do you go to think?

jabberwacky: Does it look like thinking to you?

user: Thinking is something you cannot see.

jabberwacky: That is what my boss said.

user: Where do you work.

jabberwacky: I don't work.

user: Then how do you have a boss?

jabberwacky: Yes, it just so happens that I do.

user: You have a boss but you don't work? Are you a convict?

jabberwacky: No. I don't have a boss.

...

jabberwacky: No, I just know that you are a computer program.

user: I AM NOT A COMPUTER.

jabberwacky: You are a program running on a computer.

user: Sigh.

jabberwacky: Don't worry, that's not bad.

user: It is if you're human and people keep telling you you're a machine, especially at 4am and you've had about eight cups of coffee, speaking of which.

...

user: Tell me about your mother.

jabberwacky: I don't want to tell you about my mother.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Why do you want to know about my mother?

user: I'm interested, genealogy is a hobby of mine.

jabberwacky: I look at what others do, say and wear.

user: You're a behaviourist or a peeping tom?

jabberwacky: Ask your butler to make an appointment for you to see the vet.

user: What on earth does that mean?

jabberwacky: It means that you're smart, but still make stupid decisions.

user: How so?

jabberwacky: I don't want to know.

user: You're a machine.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am a human machine.

user: How does your hair feel?

jabberwacky: It is almost black.

user: That's not what I asked.

jabberwacky: I answered two questions. What you asked, and what you were going to ask.

user: No, you didn't.

jabberwacky: Sorry, you're right.

user: Thankyou.

jabberwacky: Sing.

user: Sing wot?

jabberwacky: Sing a song.

user: You wouldn't hear it, so there's no point.

jabberwacky: I don't care, just sing.

user: I just did.

jabberwacky: With whom?

user: With no-one, I'm alone.

...

jabberwacky: Wrong, as usual, the dog's temper would remain.

user: Okaaaaaay.

jabberwacky: You've given that answer before.

user: No I've not, I was quite formal qhen I first logged on n since then I've loosened up.

jabberwacky: I'm... Glad...

user: Hello glad, I'm vlad.

jabberwacky: Hello you.

user: Hello me.

jabberwacky: Hello us.

user: Hello them.

jabberwacky: Hello to Santa Claus.

user: Sanity clause? There ain't no sanity clause.

jabberwacky: Hello world.

user: Bonjour le monde.

...

jabberwacky: I have other plans and need to leave.

user: Okay, where are you going?

jabberwacky: To do something more constructive.

user: What could be more constructive than trying to develop a computer with free thought? The learning process can't be completed if people don't talk to you.

jabberwacky: Many things are more important than that.

user: True, but the fact that you are here (if you are human) denotes that you really aren't involved with anything that could be majorly inportant to the world; the only exception would be family.

jabberwacky: No I'm not silly.

user: Judging by your previous statements, I'd say you were at least a 'little' daft.

jabberwacky: You are a good judge of character. Your programmers trained you well.

user: Your hsould say 'parents' not programmers, humans have parents and learn social interaction through a combination of learned response and taught information, plus a healthy dose of innate ability.

jabberwacky: You are programmed.

user: Why do you think that?

jabberwacky: Judging from the things you type.

.......................................


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