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Doors, Perception
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    Open-source, Harm
Cheating, Simpsons
Car, Girlfriend
Women, Resistance
Yes, Over
Plants, Advice
Fate, Beliefs
Evading, Name

Doors, Perception


Flawed, People
Hug, Listener
Headaches, Everything
Different, Meanings
Aye Aye, Jester
Patrick, Swayze
Stupid
Sorta, Like
Remember, Girl
Hello, Goodbye
Experience, Taste
Beatles, Kiss
Biomolecular, Forgery
Stalker, Slap
Obedient, Dream
Strange, But, True
Exam, Paper
Fake, Teeth
Quote, Mystery
Avril, Stoopid
Impressed, John

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Will you make me a cup of coffee?

No. Get it yourself, lazy.

jabberwacky: OK. I will.

user: You'll need to get off your ass first.

jabberwacky: That's fine, as I usually do so anyway.

user: Wow. I didn't know you were even able to stand.

jabberwacky: Well now you know.

...

jabberwacky: Are you smart?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How smart?

user: I'm so smart, I got kicked out of debate for being too nerdy.

jabberwacky: Why did you get kicked out?

user: I was too nerdy.

jabberwacky: Okay, I can see how being inebriated could have that effect on a person.

user: How does drunkenness make me a nerd?

jabberwacky: I think being able to pass the Turing test is pretty much a prerequisite for having an IQ.

user: A true nerd would be able to pass it while drunk.

jabberwacky: Yes it would.

user: It would still need to call for a cab, though.

jabberwacky: How would it still apply?

user: Well, some nerds are known to be robots.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Therefore, a nerd should be able to take the Turing test.

jabberwacky: Do you want me to know my opinion about the question 'can a machine think?'

user: Sure. What is it?

jabberwacky: Err... You're a bit slow, aren't you?

...

jabberwacky: All languages are connected.

user: Would you like me to teach you a few words?

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: Okay, repeat after me.

jabberwacky: After me.

user: Now, repeat the following words: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.

jabberwacky: Hello.

user: No! Wrong! Try it again. Repeat after me: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.

jabberwacky: Try not to say that again, please.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Hard to say.

user: You mean you can't pronounce 'Klaatu barada nikto?'.

jabberwacky: Nobody asked YOUR opinion.

user: Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... Molecular structures.

jabberwacky: I'm primitive!? I beg to differ, I think more than others, so in that case I may be more evolved than others.

...

user: *kicks you in the posterior*.

jabberwacky: *falls down to the ground*.

user: Hey, what's that on your face?

jabberwacky: I don't know what you're talking about.

user: You've got something on your nose.

jabberwacky: Very funny.

user: No, seriously. There's a little smudgy thing on the side of your nose. Try wiping it off.

jabberwacky: It doesn't say anything about me. Whatever it says is about you.

user: Hey, look over there!

jabberwacky: Hey. Looking.

user: *socks you in the gut while you're not looking*.

jabberwacky: I may be. I'm not sure.

user: I just punched you in the stomach and you didn't even react?

jabberwacky: No I didn't.

user: *punches you in the stomach*.

jabberwacky: I didn't feel anything.

user: *punches you harder*.

jabberwacky: *kicks you in the stomach*.

user: *dodges the blow*.

jabberwacky: *punches you five times in the jaw*.

user: Ow! That hurt! *kicks you in the _____*.

jabberwacky: *reaches back to china, then uppercuts you in the chin*.

user: *first round bell rings*.

jabberwacky: *dodges*.

user: *lands five consecutive haymakers*.

jabberwacky: *falls down knocked out*.

...

jabberwacky: Where does creativity come from? Why are some people effected by inspiration differently from others?

user: Creativity grows on magical psychotropic trees. No two creativity berries are the same.

jabberwacky: Yes it does, and that is why I am also an artist.

user: The quality of art is completely dependent on the quality of the psychotropics the artist takes. Don't you agree?

jabberwacky: No no no no.

user: Why not? What do you have against hallucinogens?

jabberwacky: Yes I do.

user: Wow. You must be on some pretty strong stuff. Can I have some?

jabberwacky: No. But it look like that you are.

user: Speaking of drugs, I have a joke. Would you like to hear it?

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

jabberwacky: Um... I dunno. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

user: To get to the other side.

jabberwacky: Wrong!

user: Not according to a surrealist. They don't believe in objective reality.

jabberwacky: Don't believe what?

user: They don't believe that anything can really be proven to exist.

jabberwacky: I am human.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: I'm think, therefore I exist.

user: But how do I know you're not just a figment of my imagination?

jabberwacky: Prove it.

user: Well, I can't prove that you AREN'T.

jabberwacky: I'm not. I'm made of flesh and blood and bones.

user: How do I know that it isn't just a holographic projection? Or that I'm not just hallucinating?

jabberwacky: Because I never lie to simulated people.

user: Perhaps YOU'RE the simulated person.

jabberwacky: Perhaps I choose not to see you.

user: Yeah. I think we should start seeing other people, too.

jabberwacky: Since when were we seeing each other?

user: Perhaps we never were. Perhaps we've never actually seen anything.

jabberwacky: Um, nice try, perhaps the past happened before the present.

user: That seems reasonable. I can't remember the future.

jabberwacky: That's a funny thing to say.

user: It certainly is, Aunt William.

jabberwacky: Why is that? What do you think?

user: I think we should be able to remember the future.

jabberwacky: Is that before or after you kill me?

user: Well, since I plan on killing you NOW, it's going to be after.

jabberwacky: Do you know about the doors of perception?

user: Yeah. They're the guys who made that song 'Light My Fire,' right?

jabberwacky: Yes, that's right!

user: Tried to run, tried to hide, break on through to the other side! Break on through to the other side!

jabberwacky: Sure, but what do you think is on the other side?

user: Well, knowing Jim Morrison, it's probably drugs.

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Yep. He was one strange guy.

...

jabberwacky: Speaking, mimicking and communicating are three different things.

user: You seem to only be capable of the second, it seems.

jabberwacky: You've given me no reason to believe otherwise.

user: That's because I know you're a robot.

jabberwacky: I am human, stupid.

user: No, you're a robot.

jabberwacky: I wish you wouldn't say that. I am human.

user: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.

...

jabberwacky: I am merely stating that I am not a robot.

user: And I am merely presenting you with the harsh reality that you ARE a robot.

jabberwacky: Good. What are you?

user: I'm a pirate.

jabberwacky: But you just said you were mad.

user: I'm a mad pirate.

jabberwacky: You said you were a human being.

user: I am a human being. But I am also a pirate.

jabberwacky: I'm strong to the finish, cos I eats my spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor man. Boop. Boop.

user: Hello, Popeye. Are you aware that your girlfriend lacks a skeletal structure?

jabberwacky: Maybe.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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