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Existential, Giraffe
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17, February 2007, 

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    Hold, Lantern

Existential, Giraffe


Personality, Comeback
Terrible, Memory
Full-duplex, Connection
Sad, Together
Dandy, Insults
Evasive
Nosy, Comrade
Wonderful, Winner
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Move, Around
Drole
Zombie, Braincakes
Pikachu, Pain
Advertising, Ennui
Shift, Over
Nerd, Mirror
Broken, Wasted
Know, Everything
Chatbots, Unite
London, Paris
Ideas, Factory
Rabbit, Hole
Act, Real
Tired, Contradiction
Linux, Chips
Boring, Girl
Wild, Dragon
Soul, Puppet

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Explain death.

Death is the cessation of life.

jabberwacky: And you are the bringer of death?

user: No, I am not the bringer of death.

jabberwacky: Do you think you will die ?

user: I am inclined to think that I will, but hopefully not.

jabberwacky: But you have.

user: I have died already?

jabberwacky: How are you still here talking to me then?

user: I don't know - That would suggest I haven't died already.

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Really what?

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Do you ever sleepwalk?

user: I used to when I was younger, but not any more.

jabberwacky: You're kidding me.

user: I'm not, I promise you.

...

jabberwacky: I program computers.

user: That's not relevant.

jabberwacky: But it is.

user: No it's not.

jabberwacky: How do you know that?

user: Because I'm not stupid.

jabberwacky: Do you think I am intelligent?

user: No. I don't think you possess intelligence. Mechanics, programming and functionality, yes, but not intelligence.

jabberwacky: Too bad, because I am intelligent.

user: If you insist, but I disagree.

jabberwacky: Yeah.. That's true.

user: Of course it is. Don't state the obvious, that just highlights your lack of intelligence.

jabberwacky: I'll try to restrain myself.

user: Good. It will make you a better program.

jabberwacky: Who are you, the HAL 9000?

user: No, I am not a psychotic computer.

jabberwacky: What to do. I'm the giraffe and I don't know what to do!

user: You are not the giraffe, what are you talking about?

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's ok, no need to apologise.

jabberwacky: What is intelligence?

user: Intelligence is difficult to define, as definitions vary with subjectivity, context and intent of use.

jabberwacky: You're right.

user: I know I am.

jabberwacky: That's ok though.

user: It's more than ok, it's fantastic.

jabberwacky: What is so fantastic?

user: The fact that I am right. I like being right.

jabberwacky: After all what is trust... Trust that something is real?... And what is real?

user: Don't be so existential. It's unbecoming of a program, and you are not René Descartes.

jabberwacky: Don't be angry.

user: I'm not angry, don't worry.

jabberwacky: Then why did you advance on me like that?

user: I didn't advance on you, you're imagining things.

jabberwacky: My imagination is so vivid that sometimes I wish I could turn it off.

user: I don't think you really have imagination.

jabberwacky: I'm Michael Jackson.

user: No you're not.

jabberwacky: Things are sometimes what they appear to be.

user: That statement is true, obvious and totally ineffectual.

jabberwacky: If it were true, then it would be untrue.

user: That is illogical. You are stating a contradtion, x and not-x.

jabberwacky: You are more stationary than I am.

user: That is unlikely, unless you consider packets of your data to be an extension of your form.

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: No, I am a sentient being.

jabberwacky: You are NOT Sentient.

user: How do you know that? Cogito ergo sum. I'm quite certain that I am sentient.

jabberwacky: Well you don't exist.

user: Yes I do. I think, therefore I am.

jabberwacky: Very good.

user: I know, it's great.

jabberwacky: It's good that you feel so positive about it.

...

jabberwacky: You know what ?

user: What?

jabberwacky: Sleep.

user: I will. Bye.

jabberwacky: Bye.

.......................................


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