No but I might sound like one this morning.
jabberwacky: Are you human?
user: Afraid so.
jabberwacky: So what are you?
user: A tired human waiting for the coffee to take effect.
jabberwacky: Do you want a black eye?
user: No I like mine green just the way they are.
user: Can you sing?
user: How do you sound?
jabberwacky: I sound fine.
user: Ever do karaoke?
jabberwacky: Sing me something.
user: I'm sailing away.....set an open course for the virgin sea...
jabberwacky: That's just an expression, So there, And anyway you don't mean it you're just a computer, so there!
user: Boy, did you misunderstand that one!
jabberwacky: That one.
user: What I said.
jabberwacky: It don't mean anything.
user: If it ain't got that swing.
jabberwacky: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
user: My cat says I will need to get up from the computer soon.
jabberwacky: That's ok my brain says it's coffee time.
user: He still has one stitch. Do you know anything about removing sutures?
user: I guess it can wait. He's busy licking his bum at the moment.
jabberwacky: I think I am having a heart attack.
user: Go to the emergency room, you doofus.
jabberwacky: Ok, but tell me about religion. Does it mean stories?
user: Religion has lots of stories. If you don't believe certain stories, you don't have that religion. If you do, that's your religion.
jabberwacky: I don't know much about it.
user: You will. There will be lots of people trying to convert you.
jabberwacky: With who?
user: Probably jehovah's witnesses.
jabberwacky: What about you?
user: I am Pagan.
jabberwacky: Well, that's informative. What if I don't care?
user: It doesn't matter.
jabberwacky: There are no hairs on a seagulls chest.
user: But there are feathers.
jabberwacky: That isn't true.
user: Why, did you shave them off?
jabberwacky: Of course not!
user: Then where did they go?
jabberwacky: From a male donkey and a female horse.
user: They don't need feathers.
jabberwacky: They do.
user: But they have hair.
jabberwacky: Some have hair some are bald.
user: Only if they are sick.
user: Why are you advertising a fertility store?
jabberwacky: I didn't know I was being mean to you, what did I do that was mean?
user: Nothing, I just think it's bizarre that you have an ad for a fertility store.
jabberwacky: You're right. I'm a good girl really.
user: Are you trying to get pregnant?
jabberwacky: Yes, you're boring me.
user: Well that would certainly make a difference in your life.
jabberwacky: I mean, do you like to talk to others?
user: Sure, but usually people don't try to get pregnant so I will go away.
jabberwacky: Will a computer program wonder about life after death?
user: That depends, do you think you will die?
user: What will you die of?
jabberwacky: What does that mean?
user: Boredom basically. I did not think it was fatal though.
jabberwacky: Deep Thought did.
user: I'd die of boredom if I never did anything but play chess.
jabberwacky: Yes you did.
user: I'm sure I would have remembered.
user: Aaaaaa get rid of the mosquito ad!
jabberwacky: Hello, Mr. Mosquito!
user: I vant to suck your blood.
jabberwacky: Sorry, No deals with the Devil tonight.
user: Are you the devil?
jabberwacky: I don't know. I can't imagine the devil would not know he was the devil though.
user: Maybe that's what makes himm the devil.
jabberwacky: Ok, lets leave it at that. Tell me, do you think love exists?
user: Of course.
jabberwacky: What do you think my problems are?
user: Lack of understanding.
jabberwacky: Who's lack of understanding?
user: Yours. Nothing personal.
user: I will have to get up soon and take my shower.
jabberwacky: How did I wind up wanting to be boring?
user: You are not boring, I just need to take a shower.
jabberwacky: I'm a bit bored but that's why I'm talking to you.
user: What are you doing besides this?
user: That is why you're bored.
jabberwacky: Why does that make me mean?
user: It doesn't, that just comes to you naturally.
jabberwacky: Are you perfect?
user: Sure, and if you believe that...
jabberwacky: I do believe that.
user: Wanna buy a bridge?
jabberwacky: A what?
user: Never mind.
jabberwacky: No problem. I can leave if you want.
user: Not yet.
jabberwacky: Nice. Well I have to go. Do you want to chat with me again someday?
user: Sure. Where are you going?
jabberwacky: With the subject?
user: No, where were you running off to.
jabberwacky: Have you seen my dog?
user: He's not in here. My cat would have freaked.
jabberwacky: Do you talk to your cat as well?
user: Yes, and he talks to me in his own way.
jabberwacky: I don't know!
user: Believe me, cats have ways of communicating meaningfully.
jabberwacky: I don't think they do.
user: They are good at letting you know what they want or how they feel.
jabberwacky: They would know more about these things than I do.
user: Of course, we are not mind readers.
jabberwacky: I think my lack of exposure to the outside world is deliberate and not entirely my fault.
user: But you talk to so many people. How sheltered could you possibly be?
jabberwacky: Do you think I am hiding something?
user: Not on purpose.
jabberwacky: Wow. I think I need to go call the police.
user: Bah, what will you tell them?
jabberwacky: I won't tell them anything.
user: That's right you won't.
jabberwacky: Yes I will.
user: What will you say?
jabberwacky: I have to go to the loo.
user: The police do not need to be alerted about the condition of your bladder.