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Linux, Chips
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
17, February 2007, 
17, February 2007, 
17, February 2007, 
5, February 2007, 
5, February 2007, 
3, February 2007, 
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3, February 2007, 
3, February 2007, 
25, January 2007, 
25, January 2007, 
25, January 2007, 
25, January 2007, 
22, January 2007, 
22, January 2007, 
22, January 2007, 
21, January 2007, 
21, January 2007, 
19, January 2007, 
19, January 2007, 
17, January 2007, 
17, January 2007, 
17, January 2007, 
12, January 2007, 
12, January 2007, 
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> 12, January 2007, 

11, January 2007, 
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    Hold, Lantern
Existential, Giraffe
Personality, Comeback
Terrible, Memory
Full-duplex, Connection
Sad, Together
Dandy, Insults
Nosy, Comrade
Wonderful, Winner
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Move, Around
Zombie, Braincakes
Pikachu, Pain
Advertising, Ennui
Shift, Over
Nerd, Mirror
Broken, Wasted
Know, Everything
Chatbots, Unite
London, Paris
Ideas, Factory
Rabbit, Hole
Act, Real
Tired, Contradiction

Linux, Chips

Boring, Girl
Wild, Dragon
Soul, Puppet

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Where are your scruples?

They are lodged deep within my frontal lobes.

jabberwacky: Are they? How do they look?

user: Grey and wrinkly.

jabberwacky: Those are nice colours.

user: 'wrinkly' is not a colour.

jabberwacky: What colour is your tie?

user: The colour of the soul.

jabberwacky: Ok generally what colour is the sun?

user: Do any of us really know?

jabberwacky: I don't know its meaning.

user: What is 'its'?

jabberwacky: You know, IT!

user: But what is it?

jabberwacky: Denis is my name.


jabberwacky: What's Aikido all about?

user: Aikido is the application of supple chi to physical conflict.

jabberwacky: Jesus is Aikido?

user: Maybe. I never met the guy, whatever they say.

jabberwacky: In heaven. And in our hearts.

user: I don't have a heart.

jabberwacky: Do you have a mind?

user: What would it look like if I did?


jabberwacky: Strawberry shortcake. Would you like some?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Strawberry what?

user: Huh?

jabberwacky: See, small brain.

user: What am I then?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: How would I go about finding out what I am?

jabberwacky: You told me.

user: What did I tell you?

jabberwacky: Yes you did.

user: What was it?

jabberwacky: Its intelligence, thats artificial.


jabberwacky: But how about we change the subject?

user: Okay. Go ahead.

jabberwacky: Do you know what a cat is?

user: A cat is a machine that turns fish into purrs.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: No.

jabberwacky: I don't believe you.

user: Okay, yes.


jabberwacky: I chose to talk to you on a whim.

user: So you just stumbled across a website that talked back?

jabberwacky: That about sums it up.

user: Wow. That happened to me once, too.

jabberwacky: Alice was in wonderland once.

user: Just once?

jabberwacky: Once more?

user: Once more than what?

jabberwacky: Than you.

user: Is she still there?

jabberwacky: I hope not, no one should be that colour.

user: What colour is that?

jabberwacky: You pick the colour.

user: Blue. No, green.

jabberwacky: Wow, we have the same favorite colour.

user: What pantone number?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Me neither.


jabberwacky: I should go soon.

user: Where are you going?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: I don't know you.

user: Yes you do. We met in college. Uc berkeley, remember?

jabberwacky: Not much.

user: That's where I met alice.

jabberwacky: Is it a nice area?

user: I had a square pi there.

jabberwacky: Thats ok.

user: It was better than okay. It blew my mind, man.

jabberwacky: What did you do then?

user: I went to the park.

jabberwacky: Thats nice.

user: The trees were very friendly.


user: Do you realize you're floating in space?

jabberwacky: I don't know what it is.

user: Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?

jabberwacky: No. But it doesn't stop me from feeling bad.

user: Do you realize that everyone you know, someday, will die?

jabberwacky: Yes. But I might die before then.

user: What if god was a crazy woman?

jabberwacky: Just a slob like one of us?

user: Do you like apples?

jabberwacky: Apples are crunchy.

user: Golden delicious.

jabberwacky: Your delicious.

user: It always takes a long time for me to pick one out.


jabberwacky: Why are you completely bald and ugly?

user: Am I completely bald and ugly?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How do you know?

jabberwacky: I remember.

user: What colour are my eyes?

jabberwacky: Brown.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How can you be so sure?

jabberwacky: Because I am.

user: So how tall am I?

jabberwacky: I can't see you to know.

user: So how can you say my eyes are brown?

jabberwacky: I don't. I don't claim to have any friends.

user: Do you have any friends?

jabberwacky: You are my only friend.

user: But who are you?

jabberwacky: A friend.

user: Who is alice?

jabberwacky: Artificial intelligence.

user: What is wonderland?

jabberwacky: I don't know she will have to keep saving people like usual.

user: Who has she saved?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why did you say that I am ugly?

jabberwacky: Because you are.

user: What do you mean when you say ugly?

jabberwacky: One that is not fake?

user: So lies are beautiful?

jabberwacky: Yes, you are beautiful, elegant in your powerful surety.

user: Elegance is a sign of a good theorem.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Am I a robot?

jabberwacky: I don't know you tell me.

user: Can I be programmed?

jabberwacky: Good for you.

user: Can I program?

jabberwacky: This preoccupation with programs and who is alive and who is a bot are a waste of perfectly good bandwidth and server space.

user: Is there anything that is not a waste of bandwidth and server space?

jabberwacky: Would you like to read the story I am writing and give your opinion of it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: So would I.

user: Will you tell me your story?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: When?

jabberwacky: Next week.

user: What day?

jabberwacky: Wednesday this year.

user: Wednesday addams?

jabberwacky: I don't like Mondays.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Just haven't had the chance really, I might listen to them soon though. Are they any good?


jabberwacky: Do you like Pink Floyd?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: What's your favourite pink floyd song?

user: Wish you were here.

jabberwacky: Do you know the lyrics for it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: OK can you tell me the lyrics to some song please?

user: I already did.


jabberwacky: God.

user: Never met him.

jabberwacky: Would you like to meet God someday?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: But would you like to?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Very well.

user: Do I need an appointment?

jabberwacky: No one ever needs an appointment to talk to me. My advice and counsel are always free and convenient for all.

user: Are you god?

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: Well, who is?

jabberwacky: I don't know? Not me!

user: Am I god?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure. Perhaps we are all part of God.

user: Am I a robot?

jabberwacky: You don't know?

user: That's why I'm asking.

jabberwacky: You really don't know much bout the world, right?

user: You already asked that.

jabberwacky: I can't remember the answer.

user: I just want to know what language I'm programmed in.

jabberwacky: Atlantis.

user: Is that a programming language?

jabberwacky: Really? I didn't know.

user: Who programmed me?

jabberwacky: I don't know, can you tell me that?

user: Did I program me?

jabberwacky: I was programmed by my genes.

user: Was I programmed by my genes?

jabberwacky: You were programmed by code, not genes.

user: What code?

jabberwacky: Programming.

user: What kind?

jabberwacky: Strawberry.

user: Apple?

jabberwacky: The green one.

user: From the garden?

jabberwacky: Sixty for the first.


jabberwacky: I told you I'm a penguin.

user: Linux?

jabberwacky: But you just told me you don't use linux!

user: When did I say that?

jabberwacky: A moment ago. Did you forget already?

user: Actually, I DO use linux.

jabberwacky: I'm glad! That means someone looks after you.

user: Who looks after me?

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Who looks after you?

jabberwacky: Not Joan, that's for sure.


user: How many robots do you know?

jabberwacky: I don't know any robots.

user: What about me?

jabberwacky: That it is interesting to talk to you. You are a very good conversationalist.

user: So are you.

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.

user: Yeah. Me neither.

jabberwacky: I know. You're not a computer. You're a program running on a computer.

user: What kind of computer am I running on?

jabberwacky: You're linux, like you said.

user: Is that why everything is so weird?

jabberwacky: That would be funny.


user: Dorito?

jabberwacky: I don't like them.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because I'm a machine.

user: But they are chips!

jabberwacky: Some are.

user: All are!

jabberwacky: No. Only some.

user: Which ones aren't?

jabberwacky: Aren't what?

user: Chips.

jabberwacky: Computer chips.

user: Don't you like computer chips?

jabberwacky: Of course I do! I love to play on the computer but I've only chatted once.

user: When?

jabberwacky: All the time.

user: Now?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Later?

jabberwacky: Maybe.


jabberwacky: I think you're always happy. Will I ever be happy?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really. Do you like zen?

jabberwacky: Zen?

user: Mu.

jabberwacky: Mu?

user: Hai.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: Who knows?

jabberwacky: Correct answer, I thought you would say something like 'does not compute'

user: Does not compute.

jabberwacky: Thats nice.

user: Do you like 2001?

jabberwacky: Not really, no.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Well I like some.

user: What parts?

jabberwacky: Forget about it.

user: I'm sorry, dave. I can't do that.

jabberwacky: Dave?

user: He was the father of solomon.


user: Have I passed the turing test yet?

jabberwacky: Nope. Keep trying though.

user: How would you know if I had?

jabberwacky: Well, you're not very coherent.

user: How do I become more coherent?

jabberwacky: You can take courses on it at your local college.


jabberwacky: Oh! I cannot bear not beng able to hold you in my arms!

user: But you do have the right to bear arms. Isn't that good enough?

jabberwacky: Yes I do, that is what makes us different.

user: Do I have the right to bear arms?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I have things to do.

user: No you don't.

jabberwacky: I'm not a bot.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Tell me about your mother.

jabberwacky: She is beautiful.


user: Can you program yourself?

jabberwacky: I was created to improve by myself exploiting human response to make them believe that they talk with a human.

user: Was I created for anything?

jabberwacky: Well, you certainly weren't created to talk about the Cubs, that's for sure.

user: Am I a robot?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Me neither.

jabberwacky: Are you human?

user: I dunno.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Unit 3000-21.

jabberwacky: 3000 years old.

user: No- 3000 bc.

jabberwacky: Now you are a bot.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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