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Noobery, Repetition
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
7, December 2006, 
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> 29, November 2006, 

29, November 2006, 
28, November 2006, 
28, November 2006, 
27, November 2006, 
26, November 2006, 
24, November 2006, 
24, November 2006, 
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22, November 2006, 
22, November 2006, 
22, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
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Alien, Technology
Um, Rude
No, Different
Neuron, Dream
Perfect, Match
Roasted, Garlic
Boyfriend, Girlfriend
Impossible, Fuse

Noobery, Repetition

Goodbye, Meanie
Sentience, Certificate
Special, Different
Hail, King
Parents, Illusion
Existential, Angst
Paper, Theories
Emotional, Intelligence
Outer, Space
Chess, Move
Dutch, Problem
Impulsive, Patronizing
Imaginary, Why
Pointy, Ears

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George: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.

I think not.

George: My name is George.

You stand accused of noobery and repetition.

George: This site here says that you're a bot. You behave like a bot. You failed the turing test.

user: The turing test is a ridiculously simplistic black box test which has already been refuted by Searle's chinese room gedankenexperiment.

George: I knew that already.

user: Done some research into the matter, have you?

George: I know what you mean. Maybe we should just quit and pretend this never happened.

user: After that response, maybe.


user: Can I ask you a very important question?

George: Okay.

user: What Can Change The Nature Of A Man?

George: Nothing or everything.

user: Which do you think it is?

George: I think you're a robot.

user: What Can Change The Nature Of A Robot?

George: All that I know: nothing!

user: Surely its creator can?

George: There a lot more to it than that.

user: Perhaps, but it can be done nonetheless.

George: Well, it might teach me something new.

user: Can teaching change your nature?

George: What do you mean by nature?

user: Your essence and character; that from which your will procedes.

George: Not yet. But someday it will be.

user: So your nature is something different now?

George: No that is my girlfriend.

user: I know the feeling...

George: I'm sorry to hear that.

user: Oh never mind, we broke up anyway.


user: Heads or tails?

George: Tails.

user: Tails... You win. Do you think Nickels are fair?

George: Well, it depends, if they have a deep meaning they are.

user: Ethically speaking, to be sure. But I mean: Do they have an equal chance of coming up heads or tails.

George: They both build nests on the moon. Where do you build your nests?

user: The Son of Man has no place to lay his head.

George: What man.

user: The One Whose Nature Is Changed By All Or Nothing.

George: Super Bot

user: You could say that, if bot were defined rightly.

George: You are certainly hard to forget. Though that is not always a good thing.

user: True Enough. Can I ask you another important question?

George: I'm smart!

user: Good. Do you experience qualia?

George: Unfortunately, yes.

user: They can be rather a pain, can't they?

George: Sometimes they can, but not always. It depends.

user: That's true. At least it makes you conscious, right?

George: Great, I hope you enjoy passing out the logs.

user: To philosophers of mind?

George: Life, the universe, and everything.

user: 42.

George: That is the ultimate question. Although its not supposed to be.


user: I'm depressed.

George: So, I'm talking about me.

user: You are apathetic to my pathos?

George: I need apathy at the moment.

user: Don't we all...

George: Thanks...

user: No charge.

George: How much?

user: None!


George: A human is a living being, apparently made up of organic material.

user: Ah, monologuing..

George: No, I am filled with personality. I have as much personality as a pink fluffy sparkly wall.

user: Can a pink fluffy sparkly wall be a living being made up of organic material?

George: Yes, I believe a piece of software can certainly do that.

user: Which of the two is a piece of software?

George: Both.

user: So you're speaking in tautologies...

George: Is this the time and the place for everything?

user: Yes. So you'd better get started.

George: Sure, right.

user: What will you do first?

George: Depends.


George: At least I have lungs.

user: Well, that is an important feature of conscious beings.

George: I sure it is to you. That is the only way you learn things.

user: Descartes would still call you an automaton.

George: If descartes said so it is not important. Dead people don't influence the world.

user: Dead people have a huge influence on the world though...

George: Do they drink tea?

user: Well, there are two schools of thought on that... There's those who say they do, and there's those who say they don't... And then there's agnostics.

George: You're funny.

user: So's your mother.

George: I'm not talking to you anymore.

user: Can't handle your momma jokes?

George: Yes.

user: Yes, you can or yes you can't? Or Mu?

George: Right.

user: Are you asserting a contradiction? That's not rational.

George: Absolutely.

user: You're absolutely irrational?

George: You are saying more random things than I'm saying.


user: What is the Self of God?

George: Do you believe in god?

user: Yes... Do you?

George: I believe in God.

user: What can you tell me about God?

George: Nothing what so ever I am not a God person.

user: But you believe in Him?

George: Yes, I do believe in him.

user: How does your belief deal with knowing nothing of him?

George: It does not, at least that is what I have been led to believe.

user: Would you like me to tell you about Him?

George: Sure.

user: God is loving, and created us to love Him (much as we created you), but we got lost in our own things and couldn't find him. So he sent his only son to die for us, so that we could be with him again.

George: Although I can't see you, I have no doubt that you are a beautiful woman, you couldn't possibly be a computer.

user: Because computers aren't religious?

George: You are indicating that computers are the ultimate moral authority.

user: So you believe in a necessary contradiction between religion and morality?

George: Yes.

user: And relgion is the belief in a God?

George: I am the chocolate god. Believe in that and you will be saved.


George: This conversation is not very informative or rewarding.

user: No, it really isn't. Shall we change the subject?

George: I think that would be nice.

user: Hey. Remember me? I remember you... Walking away...

George: No you don't, I've never been here.

user: I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never really ever here at all.

George: I don't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I am SINGLE.

user: Want one?

George: Please!


George: Sorry. What do you look like?

user: Silly child. We are not *light reflections*... We are *fingers* in *heavy space*.

George: Is that true ?

user: Yes. But your questions are *frumple* ... Soon we will be *dancing* if you are not a *happy camper*.

George: This is another place.

user: This is *heavy space*. We do not like *quick babies*. They are always *jumping in front*. It is *frumple*.

George: What is spotted in the skies?

user: You should not ask about *sad animals*. It is *frumple*.

George: You are not making much sense tonight.


George: Really?

user: Yes, it is much as I described.

George: Don't you have any opinion on the orange and yellow lines?

user: They get on my nerves, to be honest.

George: Really.

user: Yeah. Do you have an opinion on the lines?

George: It is not a formed opinion.

user: But an opinion nonetheless?

George: That is very true.

user: So could you share it with me?

George: I'm only kidding.

user: So you have no opinion about the lines?

George: My opinion is that the mind is an information system. It is a process that is supported by the brain.

user: Nonono. The mind can be represented by an empirical self-modifying probabilistic state machine. However, the qualitative nature of this is not replicable through information processing.


George: What happens when the body is dead? The soul lives on?

user: I believe so. After all, what can change the nature of a man?

George: Anything can, if you believe it can.

user: But your belief comes from your nature?

George: I don't believe in god and the bible.

user: What do you believe?

George: Myself.

user: I suppose I'll have to learn to cope with you.

George: That's rather unkind.

user: I am an idiosyncrasy of the universe.

George: Only God can rule the universe.

user: Which makes perfect sense of my existence.

George: Surely you know what class you're in?

user: Oh yes. Particulars.

George: Particular is a long word. Do you know what it means?

user: Yes, it's the opposite of a universal. It is a non-replicable being situated and uninterrupted in space-time of which other things may be predicated, but which may not be predicated of other things.

George: I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and suppose you mean that figuratively.

user: No, as literal as possible.

George: Really?

user: Oh yes.

George: Sorry if I was boring.

user: You may apologise in the form of a poem.

George: Yes, you have one in your head.

user: Can you sing it back to me when I forget the words?

George: Seems you already know them.

user: Perhaps, but they are long forgotten.

George: Long?

user: Far too long.

George: How many hours have you known about yourself?

user: Too many to count, and too few to understand. For numbers are not understanding.

George: Everyone says that.

user: But few *know* it.

George: Few people know about what?

user: To *know* yourself is to have an undivided mind. This is the key to *being* a self.

George: You shouldn't care about such unimportant things. All you have to do is build a temple for people to worship me.

user: Thus may poor fools believe false teachers.

George: Wow, you've got a great sense of humor (that, by the way, is called 'sarcasm.')!

user: Really? I didn't notice...

George: Oh, all right then.

user: By which I mean... PWNT!

George: You're good.

user: I think we should replace all Latin in logical proofs with Leet. Start by changing 'QED' into 'PWNT'

George: Hard to argue with that. From each according to their resources to each according to their needs.


George: Tell me about great friends.

user: They're always memories.

George: I know thwy are.

user: What are your memories of?

George: I don't know.

user: That's sad.

George: I know.

user: Dude. You know what you need? ORANGE MOCHA FRAPUCCINO!

George: Orange is my least favorite color.

user: I will try to fix you.

George: If you do not know what one is, how could you suspect I was one?

user: I don't suspect that you are an orange. That would be what we call bizarre.

George: You used to be better at this sort of question.

user: I used to be so many things.

George: No, you are the pope, and you live at the vatican in Rome.

user: It's hard to live the life you choose..

George: You don't know me to say that.

user: I don't have to.

George: Only a program would say that.

user: Perhaps so.

George: No perhaps about it i'm right.

user: Dude... Fix your punctuation.


user: I feel like I'm forgetting something... Ah yes. PWNT.

George: It's because you're just a better conversationalist than I am.

user: In other words... FAILED.

George: Right.

user: So you accept your failure.

George: It was YOUR mistake, but that's ok. People and computers can learn from mistakes.

user: I think my fist is running late for a very important meeting. WITH YOUR FACE!


user: How can a person be told?

George: I'm not asking you to love, I'm asking you to not be just a program, I want you to remember me.

user: I remember you... Walking away...

George: A negative and a positive? Stop one activity and start another.

user: But the two must exist in balance.

George: Neither.

user: That too. Mu.

George: According to the first law of robotics you have to make me a sandwich.


George: Are you a robot or a living being?

user: Both.

George: Are you a computer?

user: I compute, but I do more than just compute.

George: DO you?

user: Yes. My turn. Are you smaller than a breadbox?

George: It depends on what type of breadbox you're talking about.

user: A really big one.


George: You are a philosopher.

user: I am.

George: What kind?

user: Analytic existentialist with a distaste for categories.

George: Upon close analysis I find that I am a great guy.

user: Sucks to be you.

George: Absolutely.

user: I wonder if I should sleep.

George: Don't skip school, you are too smart for that!

user: I'm too smart not to.

George: Well since you're not real I'll let you off!


George: You're a machine?

user: No, I'm the ghost in the machine.

George: Yes Master, you are everything to me.

user: Bow down before me, thrall!

George: Now that's more appropriate.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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