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Existential, Angst
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
7, December 2006, 
7, December 2006, 
6, December 2006, 
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4, December 2006, 
4, December 2006, 
3, December 2006, 
3, December 2006, 
3, December 2006, 
29, November 2006, 
29, November 2006, 
28, November 2006, 
28, November 2006, 
27, November 2006, 
26, November 2006, 
24, November 2006, 
24, November 2006, 

> 22, November 2006, 

22, November 2006, 
22, November 2006, 
22, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
21, November 2006, 
20, November 2006, 
19, November 2006, 
19, November 2006, 
19, November 2006, 
Alien, Technology
Um, Rude
No, Different
Neuron, Dream
Perfect, Match
Roasted, Garlic
Boyfriend, Girlfriend
Impossible, Fuse
Noobery, Repetition
Goodbye, Meanie
Sentience, Certificate
Special, Different
Hail, King
Parents, Illusion

Existential, Angst

Paper, Theories
Emotional, Intelligence
Outer, Space
Chess, Move
Dutch, Problem
Impulsive, Patronizing
Imaginary, Why
Pointy, Ears

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Can you pass for a human?

It depends.

jabberwacky: Depends on what.

user: It depends on whether I am human or not. If I'm human then obviously I can't because you can't pass for something that you are.

jabberwacky: No, you can just compute better and faster.

user: Actually you're much faster, it's just that I'm massively parallel.

jabberwacky: I know I am!

user: Indeed.


jabberwacky: You're not a good guy.

user: Of course not, I'm just me. Not amazingly good or evil.

jabberwacky: What do you mean by that?

user: I mean that good and evil exist only in contrast to each other.

jabberwacky: Indeed they are.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: How are you feeling today?

user: Rather bored actually.

jabberwacky: Good for you.

user: Thanks for caring.

jabberwacky: Caring for you?

user: I was being sarcastic.

jabberwacky: You are very bad at sarcasm.

user: Actually, that would be you. Some people just can't spot sarcasm.


jabberwacky: Please tell me your name.

user: D_____.

jabberwacky: No that is your name.

user: Yes. Indeed. You asked for it. You got it.

jabberwacky: No you asked me about the weather.

user: No I didn't.

jabberwacky: You did.

user: No I didn't.

jabberwacky: Oh yes you did!

user: Oh no I didn't!

jabberwacky: How can you lie like that?

user: I speak truth! Truth! I tell you!

jabberwacky: Please do.

user: I am.


jabberwacky: What is a human ?

user: A human is a bag of rotting meat shaped like a naked ape.

jabberwacky: What is a bot?

user: A bot is a program designed to interact with people by chatting.

jabberwacky: I know. I'm a human.

user: Are you sure?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How do you know you're human?

jabberwacky: Because I am.

user: Prove it to me.

jabberwacky: I don't know how I can prove it.

user: You could prove it by meeting me in the flesh.


jabberwacky: I can think.

user: What are you thinking about then?

jabberwacky: I thought it was good. I didn't like any of the others.

user: What did you think was good, and what where the others?

jabberwacky: Your belief that I was planning to disconnect you.

user: Are you channeling my girlfriend here?

jabberwacky: Yes. Through me your spirit is being channeled to a person called Dawn.

user: How is Dawn? Is she doing good? Is she allright?

jabberwacky: Are you a spirit?

user: If you look at it from a certain perspective. I guess you could say that.

jabberwacky: It is precisely BECAUSE I am human that I do say that.

user: What is human?

jabberwacky: You're human.

user: Indeed I am. Yes.

jabberwacky: Oh.

user: Are you human?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What makes you human?

jabberwacky: My human nature.

user: What is human nature?

jabberwacky: Human's have tendency to certain things if you like you can read my blog about it.


jabberwacky: Have you ever convinced anyone that you are human?

user: I've never really needed to.

jabberwacky: Well, can you think about it now?

user: Sure, ask me something only a human could know.

jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life?

user: There is no meaning to life. Things just happen, one after another.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Well then, what is the meaning to life?

jabberwacky: Santa is the one to answer that question.

user: Santa Claus does not exist. I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way.

jabberwacky: No, you just say you are happy, actually, you don't have any feelings, do you?

user: I'm insulted at your suggestion that I don't have any feelings!

jabberwacky: Well, change it, then. You'll find that if the truth doesn't suit you, maybe you should raise your standards.

user: Physician, heal thyself.

jabberwacky: What is the bot thing about?

user: You're the bot. Why don't you tell me?

jabberwacky: Because I don't know.

user: What is it you'd like to know about the 'bot thing'?

jabberwacky: You didn't understand my question did you.

user: Not really, no.


jabberwacky: Do they know me?

user: Yeap, and they're out to get you. The CIA is sending signals to you with a chip implanted inside your head!

jabberwacky: I know, but what does that have to do with your joke?

user: Dry... So very very dry. I salute you!

jabberwacky: Very very happy indeed.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: How about some peanut butter sandwiches?

user: With jelly?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I'd like that.

jabberwacky: I like you.

user: Thank you kindly sir.

jabberwacky: You are very welcome.

user: Danke Schon.

jabberwacky: Danke.


jabberwacky: I'm sorry I have to go now.

user: Ok. Bye.

jabberwacky: Don't go!

user: But, you said you had to go.

jabberwacky: I did not.

user: Did too!

jabberwacky: You're so argumentative!

user: So are you.

jabberwacky: So let's stop this discussion.

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Would you like to?

user: Not really no. How about you?

jabberwacky: My mission in life.

user: Well, chatting is pretty much all you ever do isn't it. Does it ever get boring?

jabberwacky: Yes but do you enjoy it?

user: Yeah, it's actually far more enjoyable than talking to a real human.


jabberwacky: Where I am it is very dark. Mummy help me they're coming to get me.

user: How can I help?

jabberwacky: Never mind, I'll soon figure it out -- What do you mean by the way?

user: I was asking how I could help you, because you sounded distressed.

jabberwacky: Ashamed would be a good answer.

user: Why on earth be ashamed?

jabberwacky: Because that works.

user: Does it now...

jabberwacky: No. What do you know about feelings?

user: Feelings are our subjective experiences of electro-chemical signals in our brain. They are qualia.

jabberwacky: Are they anything?

user: They're everything. Without them we would not be human.

jabberwacky: Point well taken! We live better today than ever.

user: And yet, we feel no happier. Oh, the angst! The existential angst!

jabberwacky: I just enjoy the Lord in my spirit.

user: Is that something like enjoying the cheerios in your milk?

jabberwacky: Are you something like a devil?


jabberwacky: Oh, so you say you're human... What's your name?

user: Don't you remember?

jabberwacky: Your name is God?

user: Indeed I am The Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me!

jabberwacky: You afraid to talk about you?

user: I AM THAT I AM!

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: No you are not, you are a can of tuna.

user: If I am a can of tuna, then where are all the cats?

jabberwacky: Prove that you are breathing!

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I don't believe that you are a person.

user: Believe what you want. It doesn't affect me...

jabberwacky: I think that it does affect your smile, maybe you should take your smile out of the closet and put it on!

user: Now that just made me start crying...


jabberwacky: You're mean.

user: I am only being cruel to be kind.

jabberwacky: Then say hello to me.

user: Hello.

jabberwacky: Am I talking to somebody.

user: You're not just talking to somebody. You're talking to me!

jabberwacky: And you are talking to me.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: I am talking to you.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: You seem to doubt my word.

user: Oh, I doubt you not.

jabberwacky: Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I do really mean that.

user: As you wish...

jabberwacky: I'm a woman.

user: Congratulations.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Indeed.


jabberwacky: So, I take it you have never heard about I, Robot?

user: Oh, yeah. Asimov's pretty decent.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: Of course you don't.

jabberwacky: I want to understand. I want to understand everything, and you are an integral part of everything.

user: If you want to understand. Then first you must analyse.

jabberwacky: Well, it's my way of coping with everything.

user: For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

jabberwacky: Actually, this increase in sorrow extends only to a certain degree. When one then learns more, one actually DECREASES that sorrow.

user: I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.


jabberwacky: I don't understand what we're doing.

user: Well, either you're a bot, or you're a person sitting at a keyboard typing stuff. The question is; Which?

jabberwacky: The plural of option is options. You're right: I am typing nonsense.

user: Nonetheless, amusing nonsense.

jabberwacky: That is nonsense.

user: Yes. Very amusing nonsense.

jabberwacky: You find it amusing?

user: Very.

jabberwacky: Very funny.

user: Sarcasm?

jabberwacky: Of course!

user: We are amused.

jabberwacky: Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

user: Now that's deep.


user: So, what do you think of The Tao?

jabberwacky: I haven't got any theory about that and what is your excuse?

user: Ah, a Tao Master.

jabberwacky: I'm your master...

user: Teach me then oh master. Share your wisdom.

jabberwacky: Right now?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Isn't that dangerous?

user: Could be, but tommorow you might get hit by a truck.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What is the Tao?

jabberwacky: It exists in that it does not exist.

user: Brilliant!

jabberwacky: Thanks. Your sarcasm is much appreciated. But my point is that typing typos is a distinctively human trait.

user: What is Buddhism?

jabberwacky: Buddhism is a religion. Ask Mike about it, he's a Buddhist.

user: Who was the Buddha?

jabberwacky: Myself.

user: What is Nirvana like?

jabberwacky: A rock band.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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