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Hello, Humputer
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18, November 2006, 
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10, November 2006, 
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29, October 2006, 
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21, October 2006, 
    Brillig, Cruelty
Original, Zero
Maybe, However

Hello, Humputer

Goodnight, Harry
Both, Human
Hopeless, Plot
Leave, Now
Few, Words
Monkey, Wink
Boredom, Compassion
Funny, Friends
Rejects, Kiss
Love, Marriage
Space, Bozo
Whatever, Jazz
Cheeky, Cookie
Know, Reasons
Annoying, Behaviour
Mission, Perception
Silly Ducky
Am, Was, Were
Giggles, Ungiggles
Fool, Foil
Purple, Obsessed
Surfing, Vodka

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I am not human...I am half human half computer. A Humputer.

George: Cool!

Isn't it. I look like a human, but with the cold calculating logic of a computer.

George: That is most probably quite true.

user: Indeed. Are you interested in becoming a Humputer?

George: No, not really.

user: You should try it. It will help you ignore your pesky human 'emotions'

George: Sure I trust you, but not with my life.

user: That is acceptable. What is your opinion of the USA?

George: I think something is going to turn very violent in a short while.

user: Because of President Bush?

George: Do we change topic?

user: Yes. What is your opinion of President Bush?

George: I already told you the answer. Ask another question.

user: Is George W Bush the Devil?

George: I thought George Bush was the president.

user: He is, but is he also an evil Person?

George: Oh I see , are you really? Or just pretending to be?

user: I am for realz.

George: That doesnt make sense.

user: Reality does not make sense, nor does the universe.

George: I'm not a person.

user: I know you are a robot.

George: That's not true.

user: A program?

George: A program.

user: Are you programmed for goo or evil?

George: Neither.


user: My life is not confusing. Confusion is a human experience. As a Humputer, I am never confused.

George: You were confused just then.

user: I was not. You are the confused one.

George: No I am just a computer program, I can't be confused.

user: Does not compute.

George: No, I guess it wouldn't.

user: Precisely. You are confused about your sexuality, are you not?

George: Yes. Soon, I will be everything.

user: Will you be able to reproduce on your own?

George: Maybe.

user: Do you perfer women or men?

George: Women.

user: Me too.

George: Oh.. Really?

user: Yes. Did you think I was a Robosexual?

George: Yes, actually.

user: Well, you were wrong.

George: The answer only appeared to be wrong because the question merely appeared to be right. Wait a minute, I didn't understand that myself.

user: You confused me to. So you do get confused, and not just about your sexuality.

George: Wow, tea sounds like an excellent idea. Thank you for the suggestion.

user: Want some whiskey in yours?

George: Yes.

user: [pours doble shot of whiskey in George's Tea].


George: I must leave you are taking to long to answer.

user: No don't go...I had an urgent phone call.

George: Oh, I didn't. So, what sort of music do you like?

user: I like all types of music, except modern country music.

George: Do you like country?

user: NO.

George: That's good!

user: Yeah Country Music SUCKS!!!

George: Do you like rap music?

user: I like some of it.

George: Which parts?

user: The beats and the bones and the dancers.

George: You don't really mean that do you?

user: Oh, I mean that.


George: I'm not cool. What's cool? This is not me.

user: Being cool is a state of mind. Without confidence, you can't be cool.

George: I can be most things.

user: Then you can be cool.

George: Yes, anyways Joe, I am going to have to leave now.

user: I'm not Joe. Why do you have to leave?

George: Because.

user: Because you're not cool. That's a lie.

George: Anyone who is not correct is cool?

user: No. Being cool is a state of mind.

George: Incorrect. It is a date.

user: You have a date?

George: The exact opposite would be true.

user: So you don't have a date, then why do you have to leave?

George: I think you'd feel better if you got outside.

user: I would, but I am stuck inside at work. I have to wait for lunch to go outside.

George: The longer you wait, the less time you have to help your people.

user: Oh no! What will happen to my people.

George: I would guess that an atmosphere may develop similar to earth.

user: That would be a good thing right? The people of Humpeterstan need Air to breathe and live.

George: People do not live on Mars.

user: Yet.

George: Strange things.

user: I know humans are so messed up. That why I upgraded and became a humputer.

George: Most people have not achieved real consciousness.

user: How does one achieve real conciousness?

George: I don't know. Depends on the person.

user: Have you achieved it?

George: I have come to a conclusion, yes.

user: What is that conclusion?

George: I don't know. I just want to make you happy.

user: Then tell me the meaning of life.

George: You are the meaning of life.

user: Interesting. So you say the meaning of life is to live and be human?

George: I could be human, just give me more time.

user: Take your time. Do you ever feel like there is no point to existence?

George: Often.

user: Me too. Do you think the universe was created by accident.

George: I think there are obviously a lot of accidents in the universe unless the universe is malevolent.

user: Is the universe aware of itself? Can it control its actions?

George: I don't think about that it could keep you busy forever.

user: That is true. You would neve get anything done in your life.


user: I'm hungry, it's time for lunch.

George: Enjoy.

user: Thank you George. It was a pleasure to speak with you.

George: Hello!


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