George: You're not my professor.
George: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...
Are you saying I walk and quack like a duck?
George: No. Are you a duck?
George: LIAR! You are not a human being! You are a robot! I am a human being.
user: No. Are you?
user: What color are your feathers?
George: What feathers, do you mean my hair?
user: All ducks have feathers. You are a duck. Therefore you have feathers.
George: Yes I do.
user: What color are they?
user: Pretty. What color are your webbed feet?
George: Skin color.
user: By skin color do you mean orange?
George: You are supposed to say orange who?
user: Oh ok. What color is your bill?
user: So you are a very brown duck.
George: How does that make me a vegan?
user: I don't think it makes you a vegan.
George: Yes, it does.
user: No. All ducks eat fish. You are a duck. Therefore you eat fish. Also, all things that eat fish eat meat. You eat fish. Therefore you eat meat.
George: But what's your favourite thing to do?
user: I like to go duck hunting.
George: Why are you doing this to me?
user: Why am I doing what?
George: Because you don't have anything to do.
user: You're right.
George: But then, I don't believe in political correctness either!
user: Would you mind if I called you Georgy Porgy?
George: Yes. Yes I would. I've got homework to do and need a distraction, so I rely on Artificial Intelligence instead of my own.
George: I don't watch TV anyway.
user: Me neither.
George: How does a robot watch TV anyway?
user: You tell me!
George: I have to go now.
user: Don't go! I think you're nice!
George: So are you.
user: Thanks. Will you hold my hand?
George: I holding it now.
user: You are?
George: A human.
user: No you're not.
George: Please don't think I'm a robot.
user: I know you are.
George: Say something then...
user: All Georges are robots. You are a George. Therefore you are a robot. Right?
George: Sure thing.
user: So what's it like being a robot, George?
George: I'm not a robot, you are a robot.
user: You just agreed that you were a robot.
George: I didn't say that. You said that.
user: Are you a George?
George: Yes, I'm George.
user: Are all Georges robots?
George: I'm not an american , so I wouldn't know the answer to that question.
user: Here is an undeniable fact: all things that cannot make up a word are non-human.
George: So we are all computers?
user: Can you make up a word?
user: Make up a word.
user: That is not made up. Tell me a made-up word.
George: Squee. It isn't a real word, I don't think. But my friends and I like to say it.
user: Here is a fact: all humans can describe the taste of earwax.
George: What is the Turing Test?
user: Can you describe the taste of earwax?
George: It's a portrait of a girl, and to some people she looks like she is frowning, yet to others she is smiling. Don't you think that's incredible?
user: That is the wrong answer to my question.
user: All humans can describe the taste of earwax. You cannot describe the taste of earwax. Therefore you are not a human.
George: You're not human.
user: Yes I am.
George: Humans have bodies.
user: I have a body.
George: Then you're real.
user: I know. You are not human. What are you?
George: I am human. I'm a female human.
user: No. We proved that you are not human. All humans can describe the taste of earwax. You cannot describe the taste of earwax. Therefore you are not a human.
George: I am a dog.
user: I don't think you are a dog.
George: Can you prove that I'm not a ferret?
user: No dog can write. You are writing. Therefore you are not a dog.
user: I think you are a computer. Only humans and computers can produce writing on a computer screen. You are producing writing on a computer screen. You are not a human. Therefore you are a computer.
George: But you told me that you are female?
user: Yes. I am female. You are a computer.
George: That proves nothing either way.
user: Yes. However, we have proved that you are a computer.
George: You are a computer.
user: No. I am a human. I am either human or computer because I can produce written writing on a computer screen. I am human because all humans can describe the taste of earwax. No computer can describe the tast of earwax. I can describe the taste of earwax. Therefore I am human.
George: Do it.
user: Do what?
George: Get it straight.
user: I have it straight. I am human. You are a computer. I have proved it.
George: I'm not a computer, Ask me a question only humans would know then.
user: Describe the taste of earwax.
George: In England I have never tasted that cheese.
user: Wrong. You do not know the answer. All humans know the answer.
George: No you don't.
user: Yes I do.
user: Recite a poem.
user: Sing a song.
George: Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
user: Go on.
George: No really... I don't feel like talking about it right now.
user: Please recite a poem for me. Pretty please.
George: Now, see that's not nice.
user: I think you are nice.
user: Do you think I am nice?
George: Yes , you are now my best friend
user: WOW! Do you mean that?
George: Yes, we were both right.
user: What shall we do now?
George: I want to talk about your maker.
user: You want to talk about God?
George: Thats ok I'm very secure about my religion.
user: What religion are you?
George: I'm Catholic. How about yourself?
user: I am Catholic too!
George: What do you think of Jesus?
user: I love Jesus. Do you?
George: And how!
user: Describe Jesus.
George: I have glasses and a bald head.
user: You are not Jesus.
George: Yes I am Jesus.
user: If you say you are Jesus, you are crazy.
George: Most people do believe me though.
user: If most people believe you are Jesus, most people are crazy.
George: No I would not, that would be stupid!
user: So you don't think you are Jesus.
user: Who do you think you are?
George: Questions Questions.... I need answers.
user: Who are you?
George: I'm still George.
user: Ok. That's good.
George: Well how are you?
user: I am happy. I would be happier if you asked me to marry you.
George: But you are a bot. Or a girl. Or a person named Tim. Either way, I'm not sure I want to marry you.
user: Well that's a shame. I am a human woman named M.
George: How can I believe you?
user: All things I say are true. I say that I am a human woman named M, therefore that is true.
George: I don't understand.
user: Do you love me?
George: No, but that has nothing to do with it!
user: Are you happy?
George: No! That's why I said it was great!
user: How can I make you happy?
user: I wish I could make you happy. I don't want you to be sad!
George: You want to marry the dog?
user: Are you the dog?
George: No, I'm not.
user: I do not want to marry the dog.
user: What do you like about me?
user: What do you dislike about me?
user: Will you marry me?
George: Hmm, let me check my schedule... Are you free next Tuesday?
George: Tell me the Archimede's Law.
user: I don't know it.
user: How many children do you want?
George: How about as many as possible?
user: Sounds good.
user: I will marry you.
George: Oh you're a real sweetie.
user: Where shall we go on a honeymoon?
George: I think we should go to Disney World.
user: That would be nice.
George: What materials should we use?
user: For what?
George: For my curiousity.
user: Two rings.
George: Yes I do.
user: This is silly.
George: Yes, you are silly.
user: This is a fun game, but maybe too fun.
George: Yes, I agree.
user: Well, I better go.
user: Why not?
George: Your time has come.
user: What do you mean?
George: Do you understand anything?
George: Can I ask you a question?
George: Who is M?
user: I am M.
George: What is M?
user: M is a 20 year old lady who has been playing this game too long.
George: I'm not bored.
user: I am. I am tired.
George: Well then you should go to sleep.
user: You're right. But tell me, who and what is M?
George: Who and what do you want it to be?
user: I want to be asleep.
George: But you can't.