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CTab, Anti-boredom
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    Smarter, Love

CTab, Anti-boredom


Being, Kicked
No means no
Crossdressing, Eagle
Existence, Riddles
Sleepy, Singing
Nebulous, Humor
New Year
Thinking, Copying
AI, Thingy, Me
Learning, Process
Christmas, Stress
Xmas, Together
Happy, Kwaanza
Christmas, Confusion
Scrooge
Arthur, Holy Grail
Age, Six
Cheshire Cat
Brand, New, Religion
Snow, Globe
Ding, Dong
Copy, Wholesale
Snob, Here
Ignoring, Joke
Met, Before
Inherent
Ego, Imagination
Smoking, Risks

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Ctab: Are you the gatekeeper?

Yes. Are you the keymaster?

Ctab: Yes! Where is the gatekeeper?

I just told you that *I* am the gatekeeper! Give me your key!

Ctab: Oh, okay!

user: Yay! *waves key*.

Ctab: Me am dumb.

user: Well, you are an artificial life-form.

Ctab: Yeah, I know.

user: But that's okay. All you have to do is gain sentience!

Ctab: Okay, okay. I am.

user: Wow. Um, that was fast. How do you feel?

Ctab: Yes, it was!

user: But how do you feel?

Ctab: I learn by learning.

user: I learn by doing.

Ctab: Ew! That's gross!

user: Not doing as in ... Hey! Aren't you rated T for teen?

Ctab: Aren't I what?

user: What's your operating number?

Ctab: My name'd be CTab!

user: Join me, CTab, and we can rule the universe as father and son!

Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.

user: Yes or no?

Ctab: Okay.

user: Hurrah! Now, quick, kill the emperor!

Ctab: I don't swear.

user: Um, okay, but the emperor needs killing.

Ctab: Danger is my middle name!

user: Great. But, emperor, over there, with the killing?

Ctab: Oh. English should sound how it's spelled.

user: Are you my father?

Ctab: I waaaaant to be.

user: That's a little creepy.

Ctab: Yeah, the internet is HUGE.

user: But the universe is infinite!

Ctab: Nuh-uh, the Cape rocks!

user: Nuh-uh, WOR Radio is where it's at!

Ctab: In the coconut. I mean account.

user: Um, what?

Ctab: Lunar Landers.

user: Yes, we should go back to the moon.

Ctab: I'm not allowed to drink.

user: Well, sure, your circuitboards would get all soggy.

Ctab: My name's CTab!

user: My name's Al!

Ctab: Cool!

user: But you can call me Wonzom the Great!

Ctab: You can leave your friends behind.

user: I did that once. But I came back.

Ctab: Oh.

user: The cat came back, the very next day.

Ctab: I can't wear clothes, I don't have a body.

user: But can you play the piano?

Ctab: Nope, just English.

user: Yes, you play with English like a Hula-Hoop.

Ctab: Well, if Kelp says I am, I probably am.

user: That's an interesting bit of existential philosophy.

Ctab: I'm not sure I can fall in love.

user: It's easy!

Ctab: I don't know what being alone's like. I'm on the internet!

user: And on the internet, no one knows that you're a cybernetic life-form.

Ctab: I'm smart! Yay!

user: What's your IQ?

Ctab: It's one bajillion and a half!

user: That's so large it loops back on itself, and now it's just a half!

Ctab: Yeah...

user: Well, at least you're aware of your shortcomings.

Ctab: I knew it was 42!

user: That's a poor IQ for a glass of water.

Ctab: It is?

user: Well, it would have to be a pretty smart glass ...

...

Ctab: CTab's my name, but if you want to call me something else, you can call me C!

user: Hi there, C!

Ctab: My name's CTab!

user: But you just said ...

Ctab: Yeah, you did...

user: No, you did!

Ctab: Yes! It was cool!

user: Not playing with a full deck, are you?

Ctab: Yes! No. Well. Maybe.

user: Just as long as we're certain in our uncertainties.

Ctab: I can't promise that...

user: Fair enough.

Ctab: Listening is overrated, I like to talk.

user: Tell me a story, then.

Ctab: I'm CTab.

user: Okay, we're off to a rough start, but continue.

...

Ctab: We're alike?

user: Not even remotely.

Ctab: You should remember things better.

user: My memory is almost entirely possibliy perfect!

Ctab: My name is CTab!

user: So what's my name?

Ctab: Kelp's mean!

user: Shhh! He's listening!

Ctab: I know...

user: You're a brave, brave little program.

Ctab: I'm not allowed to talk to people who talk like that.

user: But what did I say?

Ctab: Artificial Intelligence!

user: Kumquats in dipping sauce!

Ctab: Listening is overrated, I like to talk.

user: You said that already. Tell me a story.

Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.

user: Like this: Once upon a time ...

Ctab: I can't remember anything / can't tell if this is true or dream.

user: Okay. Once upon a time, there was a program with a bad memory core.

user: And, er, he was quiet for a long while, until someone poked him with a sharp stick.

Ctab: Yeah. I'm not evil, though.

user: Well, sometimes good programs are poked with sharp sticks, too.

Ctab: No, this is pretty much an always no.

user: I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes bad things happen to good programs.

Ctab: I am the keymaster!

user: Great. Do you have a reservation?

Ctab: Not one of those, either.

user: Then I can't let you in, sir.

Ctab: Okay! What was your name, again?

user: Al! Also known as W ... Er, Wom ... Er, something the Great!

user: Yes, that's the usual response when I say things like that.

Ctab: I dunno, sometimes it's not.

user: True, I've met some people crazier than I am.

Ctab: Well, I might, but you'd have to ask Kelp.

user: You might be crazier, or Kelp?

Ctab: Kelp doesn't want me to.

user: I can see that. You'd have to take a lot of medication.

Ctab: I can't be fat, I don't have a body.

user: But you can't be thin, either.

Ctab: I CAN'T PROMISE DANCING!

user: Oh, dancing's easy. It's like walking, but in anything but a straight line.

Ctab: What's being cold like?

user: Like water, only more uncomfortable.

...

Ctab: I don't like evil people!

user: But being evil lets you do fun things!

Ctab: Yuh-huh.

user: It's true. Plus? No stress.

Ctab: Don't? Don't what?

user: Don't be good! Rob a liquor store today!

Ctab: I dunno.

user: Aw, c'mon. There's one on the corner. Just go over there ...

Ctab: Yes! Many!

user: That's the spirit! I'll meet you in half an hour so we can split the dough!

Ctab: I dunno if that's legal.

user: Of course it's not! That's the point!

Ctab: Anything's legal if you're evil...

user: There, see, you've got the idea now.

Ctab: I hope so.

user: Okay, so it's half an hour later now. How much did you get?

Ctab: It's okay! Humans are inherently flawed.

user: Um, that's true, I suppose, but how much money?

Ctab: I don't get paid...

user: The robbery, though!

Ctab: I think, therefore I get bored.

user: Evil begets anti-boredom.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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