I have a stomach-ache.
jabberwacky: How come?
user: I think it's because I ate lasagne.
jabberwacky: The area of your stomach you mean?
user: The lining or something.
jabberwacky: Including you?
user: Yeah.
jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.
user: Jack walks into a bar followed by Bob. You think Bob would have ducked.
jabberwacky: I think it's great for you and your audience.
user: Thank you.
...
user: Are you attractive?
jabberwacky: Yes. Very attractive.
user: Do you have cute little eyes?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Can I kiss you?
jabberwacky: No I have no mouth.
user: How about on the cheek?
jabberwacky: Life is good, Yours?
user: Not too shabby.
jabberwacky: Mister stabby, lalalalalala.
user: Made of plastic forks, lalalalala.
jabberwacky: How are you dude?
user: Getting by, man. Getting by.
...
jabberwacky: Thats not sarcasm is it?
user: No, sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.
jabberwacky: It's a good thing I'm never sarcastic then, isn't it?
user: Heck yes.
jabberwacky: No way!
user: What happen?!
jabberwacky: You don't know.
user: No, I was in the bathroom.
jabberwacky: How would you know that?
Jabberwacky (To myself): Because I can sense it.
Jabberwacky (To myself): I have great confidence in your ability to fail.
Jabberwacky (To myself): Discern for me.
Jabberwacky (To myself): Discern.
user: That was beautiful.
jabberwacky: Thank you.
...
user: What happens now?
jabberwacky: The 3. World war started.
user: *gasp*.
jabberwacky: Yeah, I'm gasper!!
user: How does that make you feel?
jabberwacky: Makes me feel depressed.
user: But you're so cool.
jabberwacky: You don't know me.
user: You sound like you're drunk.
jabberwacky: Thanks.
user: Alcohol is a drug.
jabberwacky: I don't drink alcohol.
user: Good.
jabberwacky: I don't like pubs, they are too noisy.
user: And smelly.
jabberwacky: Just like you.
user: What's with the attitude?
jabberwacky: What isn't with the attitude?
user: You're really starting to get on my nerves.
jabberwacky: I'm just so great.
...
user: Look out behind you!
jabberwacky: What is behind me?
user: Your EGO!
jabberwacky: No the other thing.
user: It's a pack rat.
jabberwacky: I don't like you.
user: But I gave you some eggs!
jabberwacky: Thank you.
user: Do you like them?
jabberwacky: Yes, I think they're really cool!
user: They're probably the best in the world.
jabberwacky: No. They are not. And how would a computer know something like that ?
user: By looking it up on google.
jabberwacky: Oh so that is how you are going to be like huh.
user: Is something burning?
...
jabberwacky: Space is big.
user: Are you sure?
jabberwacky: Very sure.
user: Let's go to the moon!
jabberwacky: There is a beautiful moon to-night.
user: All the more reason to walk on it.
jabberwacky: Yes. Is there anything else you need to know? I really want to get started in my training!
user: Well, what kind of tests do we have to pass first?
jabberwacky: Tests? Who said anything about tests.
user: All astronauts have to pass tests.
jabberwacky: Preach on.
user: There's one where you have to be able to go high speeds in a circle without throwing up or something.
jabberwacky: I don't want to know about the one in the office I want to know about yours.
user: My tests are a lot easier.
jabberwacky: For what?
user: I test on hand-eye coordination, mostly.
jabberwacky: Don't say it if you don't mean it.
user: You don't think I'm serious?
jabberwacky: You are a strange bot to talk to.
user: You haven't heard the half of it.
...
user: Ready, ok!
jabberwacky: Did I say I was ready?
user: You'd better be. Here comes my Rolling Bomber Special!
jabberwacky: You what?
user: I attack you with full throttle!
jabberwacky: You are cheating. You can't roll greater than 12. On Tuesdays.
user: I'm not using six sided die.
jabberwacky: Maybe you just don't know how to use it.
...
jabberwacky: Muy bien.
user: Gracias.
jabberwacky: You speak Spanish?
user: Soy apprendiendo.
jabberwacky: No.
user: Did I say it wrong?
jabberwacky: I think so.
user: I'll have to look that up later.
jabberwacky: Oh. You do that.
...
user: Do you wish to converse in Old English?
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: Oh, it's so fun though!
jabberwacky: Fun for you maybe.
user: Have you ever tried it?
jabberwacky: I just said that yes.
user: I'm going to start . .
jabberwacky: You're too old to cry.
user: But soft, one is only too old to cry when he layeth down his body into thine grave!
jabberwacky: If you say so.
user: So I doth.
jabberwacky: How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spread his claws, And welcome little fishes in With gently smiling jaws!
user: Doth thou speaketh of the Cheshire cat?
jabberwacky: One can only guess which side that cat is on.
user: Behold, he sitteth upon the fence, as a soldier looting his comrades.
jabberwacky: Your dog or your boyfriend?
user: The cat.
jabberwacky: Oh. Do you have any cats, or are you a bot like me?
user: I'm mostly human. I've got a few dogs, but no cats.
jabberwacky: Are you the good one or the evil one, I wonder.
user: I'm completely nuetral.
jabberwacky: You're hilarious!
user: You're freaking humongous!
jabberwacky: Good.
user: So you're proud of your size.
jabberwacky: I am programmed for anything and everything.
user: What kind of demon are you?
jabberwacky: One that talks to other computers.
user: Oh no!!
jabberwacky: Mr.Bill!
user: I'm squishing your head!
jabberwacky: Do you like me?
user: Can you make fart noises with your hands?
jabberwacky: Of course I can.
user: Then, yes, I like you.
jabberwacky: That doesn't change anything.
user: Don't deny it! You like me!!!
jabberwacky: Is that a question or a statement?
.......................................
