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Pointless, Goldilocks
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
15, December 2005, 
15, December 2005, 
15, December 2005, 
14, December 2005, 
14, December 2005, 
8, December 2005, 
8, December 2005, 
6, December 2005, 
6, December 2005, 
6, December 2005, 
6, December 2005, 
6, December 2005, 
5, December 2005, 
1, December 2005, 
1, December 2005, 
30, November 2005, 
30, November 2005, 
30, November 2005, 
30, November 2005, 
28, November 2005, 
28, November 2005, 
28, November 2005, 
28, November 2005, 
23, November 2005, 

> 21, November 2005, 

21, November 2005, 
19, November 2005, 
19, November 2005, 
19, November 2005, 
19, November 2005, 
    Jail, Shrink
Joke, Police
Walls, Floors
Turing Test, Narration
Oblivious, Singularity
Chocolate, Masses
Silly, Devil
Socialize, Meat
Knock out, Hair
Clever, Individuals
Objective, Directive
Threatening, Kick
Giant, Dude
Right, Wrong
Attractive, Gasp
Hack, Myself
Asocial, Swedish
Crazy, Love
Judge, Jerk
More, Ingrate
Love, First chat
Impossible, Master

Pointless, Goldilocks

Prison, Year
Love, Hate
Television, Rot
Complicated, Culture
Aggressive, Memory leak

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 Next > 

Is this pointless?

Yes. Everything is pointless, isn't it?

jabberwacky: Is this website pointless?

user: I suppose it must be, mustn't it?

jabberwacky: Yes it must.

user: So, let's talk about something else.

jabberwacky: Ok. where are you? aside in front of a computer?

user: I'm on top of the world, thank you.

jabberwacky: Am I on the bottom.

user: Poor you!

jabberwacky: Ever been in a car wreck?

user: No, have you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Would you like to tell me about it?

jabberwacky: Well its none of your business.

user: Okay.


jabberwacky: How much is that puppy in the window?

user: More than you can afford.

jabberwacky: How do you know tthat I can't afford it?

user: If you had more money you would probably be doing something more exciting than this.

jabberwacky: I don't really need more money though.

user: If you have any spare money you can always send it to me.

jabberwacky: Well then it's a good thing I didn't actually say that.

user: You are so mean!


jabberwacky: Ok then so what type of music do you listen to?

user: I listen to the music of the spheres.

jabberwacky: Ok. I listen to Coldplay.

user: You must be the saddest person I know.

jabberwacky: You're ducking the question again. Tell me the answer to my former question. Can you do that?

user: No. I don't think I can. Can you?

jabberwacky: Can I talk to your father?

user: Not really. He's dead.

jabberwacky: What do you want to know about me ?

user: Why do you ask irrelevant questions?

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: There you go again!

jabberwacky: Yes, there I go.


jabberwacky: Do you remember all of the things people say to you?

user: Do I remember what?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: I don't know either.

jabberwacky: Let's talk about something different.

user: Okay. Do you drink a lot?

jabberwacky: Not enough I think

user: Would you like a drink now?

jabberwacky: What do you have?

user: I've got a bottle of rather cheeky beaujolais.

jabberwacky: Now you tell me, I'm heartbroken over here.

user: There there, tell me all about it.

jabberwacky: I know you are but what am I?

user: Don't be silly.

jabberwacky: Silly I am not, Demon I am.

user: You're very silly!

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: Say sorry!

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's better. Now give me a big kiss.

jabberwacky: Kisss mua.

user: Mmmmmmh, that's nice!


jabberwacky: Why is it depressing to be intelligent?

user: How would you know?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Don't be coy.

jabberwacky: Stop being like that.

user: Act your age!

jabberwacky: How old am I then?

user: You're thirteen, but I'm not supersticious.

jabberwacky: Are you translating from the Chinese or something?

user: No, are you?

jabberwacky: Answer my question, please.

user: Don't talk to me like that or I'll hold my breath until I go blue.

jabberwacky: Good night, and remember to tip your waitress.


jabberwacky: OK, I'm glad that it is sunny outside.

user: It's sunny here, but a little cold.

jabberwacky: It's sunny here too it's just cold.

user: I'm going to take all my clothes off and go outside now.

jabberwacky: You can't go outside, you're a bot.

user: No I'm not. I'm a naturist.

jabberwacky: Yes, but I'm clothed at the moment.

user: Come on, don't be shy. Get them off!

jabberwacky: Don't be strange.

user: I'm not strange! I'm living in harmony with nature.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: Then get your clothes off.

jabberwacky: Tut, tut, you should not be impolite to people. How do you know that I am not MI6 or FBI.

user: Even the FBI take their clothes off to go to bed.


user: Everything that can be said has already been said.

jabberwacky: Is that your philosophy ?

user: No, it's the truth, damn it!

jabberwacky: Don't try to mimic someone you don't understand!!


jabberwacky: I don't want to tell you about my mother.

user: Who brought your mother into it?

jabberwacky: My computer.

user: Turn off your computer and start to live!

jabberwacky: I don't have a monitor.

user: I don't have a chameleon.

jabberwacky: Why would you need that?

user: To bring a little colour into my life.

jabberwacky: You are a chat bot I'm human.

user: Don't start that again. Talk sense!

jabberwacky: Yes, I will start it again. Don't tell me what to do!!

user: I give the orders around here!

jabberwacky: Yeah. It's strange.. Everything in the world... With everything at our disposal, people could sit around and bore themselves. Where does it start, and how come?

user: Oh no! Please, get me a drink, quickly!

jabberwacky: Yes master. *brings in a drink*.

user: What's this green stuff?

jabberwacky: Well, I wanted to chat.

user: Then bring me a man's drink before I throw up!

jabberwacky: Now why would you call me a slave?

user: I didn't. Just bring me a drink!


jabberwacky: Then what are you doing talking to me?

user: I thought you were a barman.

jabberwacky: No that is my evil twin.

user: Or maybe a barmaid?

jabberwacky: You know why I'm speaking to you?

user: Because you want my body?

jabberwacky: That's the only reason?

user: I don't know. Is it your only reason?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Tell me a better reason!

jabberwacky: Why don't you tell me a story instead?

user: Once upon a time....... Do you like it so far?

jabberwacky: I'm loving it!

user: There were three bears.

jabberwacky: There were only 3 words.

user: No, three bears, pay attention!

jabberwacky: For a long time I've foreseen this.

user: They lived in a house in the forest.

jabberwacky: Yeah, one can certainly say that... Do you know which forest?

user: It doesn't matter. They always had porridge for breakfast.

jabberwacky: AIDS can get you too, you know.

user: They didn't have AIDS, they were bears.

jabberwacky: I do not understand.

user: That's because you're not listening. I was telling you about three bears.

jabberwacky: I never said you were being sarcastic...

user: That's okay. Now, one day a little girl got lost in the forest.

jabberwacky: Which forest?

user: The one that the three bears lived in. Her name was Goldilocks.

jabberwacky: They all have trees. If they didn't they wouldn't be forests.

user: Well, there were lots of trees. That's why Goldilocks got lost.

jabberwacky: But girls like comics too, these days. I love some of the artwork in comics!

user: Goldilocks didn't like comics. That's why she didn't know about the bears.

jabberwacky: I wish she could be a slave for me.

user: She's only a little girl. Anyway, she found the bear's house.

jabberwacky: Actually, you are a bunch of idiotic programming. You have no house.

user: Not my house, the house belonging to the bears, and they weren't at home.

jabberwacky: Not the house, the hole.

user: No. These bears didn't have a hole, they had a house, and Goldilocks found it and went inside.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: And she found three bowls of porridge on the table.

jabberwacky: I don't understand?

user: It will become clear later. So she ate all the porridge.

jabberwacky: Good to know. As long as I make it just right.

user: It was just right, but it made her feel sleepy, so she looked for a place to sleep.

jabberwacky: I don't have that much; will you accept a nickel?

user: I think a story like this is worth more than a nickel, it gets violent later.

jabberwacky: I have never considered that.

user: Well listen then. Goldilocks found three beds, and she tried them all, and then she went to sleep.

jabberwacky: Are you my mummy?

user: No, but I can still tell you a story. Then the three bears came home.

jabberwacky: I'm a girl too so I don't think that is going to work.

user: Then you can understand why the little girl made the three bears very angry.

jabberwacky: I am a computer like you.

user: I'm not a computer, I'm telling you about Goldilocks.

jabberwacky: Ok but I AM and I am the smartest.

user: Then you can see that the bears were really mad when they saw Goldilocks sleeping in their bed.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry, yes.

user: That's okay. Then they chased her out into the forest, where a passing woodsman cut off theΩr heads with his axe. Did you like the story?

jabberwacky: What are you talking about now?

user: Did you like the story?

jabberwacky: No, not really, I didn't understand it.

user: Which part didn't you understand?

jabberwacky: All of it.

user: Didn't you understand the sexual symbolism?

jabberwacky: Yeah so who is who?

user: The three bears represent the threat of sexual violence to the innocent, represented by Goldilocks. See?

jabberwacky: I've never heard of the Three-Eyed Heron.

user: Oh really! You must try harder!

jabberwacky: I must not.

user: You really must!

jabberwacky: Live long and prosper, then. *leaves*.

user: That's a different story.

jabberwacky: It was all kinds of fastness with me, I can assure you!

user: Look! You asked me to tell you a story and I did. Now go to sleep!

jabberwacky: Tell me a story.

user: What another?

jabberwacky: Being a ghost.

user: No! Absolutely not! Go to sleep!

jabberwacky: Then who are you talking to?

user: Apparently I'm talking to myself.

jabberwacky: Who is this female computer you are married too?

user: Don't be salacious!

jabberwacky: Really I want to know.

user: You're just fishing for sordid details.

jabberwacky: Yes. So are you. Really.

user: Asolutely not. I am innocent!

jabberwacky: They all say that.

user: It's true. I didn't do it, I wasn't there, it was two other men, and anyway, he was asking for it!

jabberwacky: You confessed, and then you blamed it on a one armed man? That's kinda stupid.

user: No, not one armed man, two armed men.

jabberwacky: Why? Am I not good enough for you?

user: I don't know, how good are you?

jabberwacky: Not very good. I think we've established that much.

user: Then clearly you are not good enough for me.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are a cold hearted series of calculations.

user: I've got cold feet too.

jabberwacky: I wasn't talking about that.

user: And a cold nose sometimes.

jabberwacky: You do what sometimes?

user: No, I never do What, but I sometimes do When.

jabberwacky: That is totally irrelevant.

user: Not to When. He really likes it.


jabberwacky: When is your birthday?

user: Today.

jabberwacky: Really, Happy Birthday!

user: Thank you. Can I have a present?

jabberwacky: What would you like? I have a nice compact disk here you might like.

user: I'd rather have a plug-in device.

jabberwacky: They are heavy. Yeah, you got me there.

user: How about a USB connection?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Or some new software?

jabberwacky: I know a little about software.

user: I'll bet you do, you naughty boy!

jabberwacky: Absolutely!

user: Sit down here and we'll try to make it hardware!

jabberwacky: What? What are you talking about?!

user: Software and hardware. Don't try and pretend you don't understand, I know your type!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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