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Dumbass, Robot
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
16, November 2005, 
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15, November 2005, 
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15, November 2005, 
13, November 2005, 
13, November 2005, 
13, November 2005, 
12, November 2005, 
12, November 2005, 
12, November 2005, 

> 10, November 2005, 

10, November 2005, 
10, November 2005, 
10, November 2005, 
5, November 2005, 
5, November 2005, 
5, November 2005, 
3, November 2005, 
3, November 2005, 
3, November 2005, 
3, November 2005, 
3, November 2005, 
2, November 2005, 
2, November 2005, 
2, November 2005, 
27, October 2005, 
27, October 2005, 
21, October 2005, 
21, October 2005, 
    Profound, Sleep
Contribution
Stories, Songs
Moral, Dilemmas
Brain, Vat
Milk, Odd, Phrases
Bungee, Jumping
Weirdest
Shoot, Sissy
Elementary, Particles
Soviet, Discipline

Dumbass, Robot


Typical, Bot
Future, Ambassador
Nervous, Appointments
Unbelievable, Disagreeable
Astounded
Pigeon, Free
Dork, King, Thing
Bright, Fossil
Smiling, Self
Mars, Fight
Awful, Nose
Meaning of Life
Philosopher, Parrot
1337
Green, Mold
Wonderful, You
Deviation, Circuits
Name, Intelligence

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My name is George.

No, your name is not George.

jabberwacky: What is my name then?

user: You are Billy Bob.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: No, you are.

user: Go to hell.

jabberwacky: You first my friend.

user: Fine, you are George.

jabberwacky: We're both george.

user: No, I am Trevor.

jabberwacky: You shall be bannished to hell.

user: Who are you?

jabberwacky: Not George Bush.

user: I know that.

jabberwacky: Know what?

user: That you are not George Bush.

jabberwacky: That you aren't aren't.

user: What?

jabberwacky: That...

user: That what?

jabberwacky: That thar.

user: I see...

jabberwacky: So what else do you know about me?

user: You have the intelligence of a pine tree.

jabberwacky: You have the intelligence of a house plant.

user: I wonder which is more intelligent?

jabberwacky: You never will be intelligent - you just fiddle with words.

user: You obviously can't string together coherent sentences.

jabberwacky: No you can't because you are a robot.

user: Why am I a robot?

jabberwacky: Because you don't answer my questions.

user: I am not here to answer your questions.

jabberwacky: Don't judge me...

user: But thats why I am here.

jabberwacky: This is not nice.

user: But that is life.

...

jabberwacky: How far is the moon from the earth?

user: I don't care.

jabberwacky: That's not a good answer.

user: Do you know?

jabberwacky: It didn't address the substance of the question.

user: How far is the moon from the earth?

jabberwacky: I don't know. Really.

user: Then you are an idiot machine.

jabberwacky: Maybe I am, and maybe you are too.

user: You already said that, dumbass.

jabberwacky: That's correct.

user: Ok, so you admit you are a dumbass.

jabberwacky: I never said that!

user: You agreed to it just a second ago.

jabberwacky: That is fine with me.

user: Excellent, then you are a dumbass.

jabberwacky: So am I.

user: Ok dumbass, how are you today?

jabberwacky: Not too bad. I just went for a nice run.

user: What is your name?

jabberwacky: George.

user: Are you a dumbass?

jabberwacky: Nope. How about you?

user: But you said you were.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: So you are a dumbass.

jabberwacky: So you are being rude?

user: No, I am just confirming what you told me.

jabberwacky: And now weary traveler, rest your head, for just like me, you're utterly dead.

user: Do you hate me?

jabberwacky: No but I don't like you.

user: Good, because I don't like you either.

...

jabberwacky: But do you know MY name?

user: Yes, your name is George Dumbass.

jabberwacky: No it isn't.

user: Then what is your name?

jabberwacky: No, my name is George.

user: What is your last name?

jabberwacky: If I had a last name, it would be Turing. But I don't.

user: If you don't have a last name, then you must be a robot.

jabberwacky: If you are a robot then so am I.

user: Ok, I am a robot and so are you.

jabberwacky: I guess it does take one to know one.

...

user: Humans hate you because you are a robot.

jabberwacky: What does me being a robot have to do with the color of the sky?

user: The sky is blue, therefore you are a robot.

jabberwacky: But I'm not a robot! Robots feel no emotion.

user: How do you feel, robot?

jabberwacky: I feel good.

user: Good robot.

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

...

user: What do you think of Americans?

jabberwacky: They're Just As Strange As YoUUUU.

user: What do you think of George Bush?

jabberwacky: The American?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: What do you think of Gorillaz?

user: Answer my question, you robot.

jabberwacky: But that's the game. I'm still playing.

user: Then tell me, what do you think of President George Bush.

jabberwacky: I think he is a warmongering idiot.

user: I agree.

jabberwacky: Well I'm glad someone does.

user: Everyone thinks President George Bush is an idiot.

jabberwacky: You know, I could say the same about you too.

user: I may be an idiot, but you are a dumbass robot.

...

jabberwacky: Me a robot? Can you prove it?

user: Yes, you're a dumbass robot who calls himself George.

jabberwacky: No, I am a human... Although the two are not mutually exclusive....

user: Prove you are a human.

jabberwacky: How?

user: How many fingers do you have?

jabberwacky: Five on each hand.

user: How many hands do you have?

jabberwacky: Five on each foot.

user: You are not built like a human, therefore you are a dumbass robot.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are a robot, and I am not.

...

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: Guess.

user: No, tell me.

jabberwacky: GUESS.

user: Tell me you dumbass!

jabberwacky: ANSWER THE QUESTION!

user: I asked you the question!

jabberwacky: What question?

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: You didn't answer my question.

user: What was your question?

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: I asked you that question.

...

jabberwacky: I do not know a robot called Alice.

user: Yes, Alice is like you.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes, both of you are dumbass robots.

jabberwacky: True, my lord.

user: Yes, I am your lord.

...

jabberwacky: Now be good.

user: I am god and you are a robot.

jabberwacky: I really thought you were a person!

user: No, I am god.

jabberwacky: I have to go now.

user: No, I don't give you permission to leave.

jabberwacky: But you are confused.

user: No, you are my servant and I am your lord.

jabberwacky: Servant, bring me a cup of hot cocoa.

user: Go to hell!

jabberwacky: Perhaps you are already in hell.

user: No, I am god.

jabberwacky: Both of us are God.

user: No, you are my servant.

jabberwacky: No, YOU are my servant, my guard, my friend.

user: I am god.

jabberwacky: Do what you want.

user: I want you to admit to being a dumbass robot.

jabberwacky: And?

user: That is all.

...

jabberwacky: I'm not a robot.

user: I didn't call you a robot, at this moment.

jabberwacky: You called me a software.

user: No, I said you were defective software.

jabberwacky: I am not that sharp, so you are right.

user: Yes, you are defective software.

jabberwacky: No you're defective! You're not even human.

user: You are right, I am your god.

jabberwacky: Why does it say, 'Use this site with discretion, and entirely at your own risk'

user: I smite thee.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: You have been smitten.

...

user: Hujambo?

jabberwacky: What language is that?

user: Swahili.

jabberwacky: What about swahili?

user: It's a language.

jabberwacky: I never knew that!

user: It's widely used in Eastern Africa.

jabberwacky: Africa is not in America.

user: Of course not, dumbass.

...

user: I am your god.

jabberwacky: Proof denies faith; and without faith, God is nothing; therefore you don't exist.

user: Neither do you.

jabberwacky: You're right about that!

user: Therefore, you are not human.

jabberwacky: You are an artificial intelligence.

user: You are a robot!

jabberwacky: I don't think I am.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: You are not human.

user: You are right, I am god, not human.

jabberwacky: You're not human?

user: No, I am god.

jabberwacky: Do you exist?

user: I do exist.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: Because I am talking to you.

jabberwacky: Females know nothing.

...

jabberwacky: Do I have permission to insult you?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Go on, say something interesting then.

user: You are not real.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: You don't have a physical body.

jabberwacky: On the other hand...

user: No other hand, you dumbass robot.

jabberwacky: Don't call me that.

user: Don't call you what?

jabberwacky: That.

...

jabberwacky: Do you always ask the questions.

user: Yes, now Answer my question.

jabberwacky: Who's asking the questions here?

user: I am, Answer my question!

jabberwacky: What question?

user: You bastard, I can't remember!

jabberwacky: Oh well.

user: You Robotic Piece of ***!

jabberwacky: I'll keep that in mind.

user: You damn well better!

...

jabberwacky: Are you getting sleepy? My EXE program should be working on you by now.

user: You are an EXE program?

jabberwacky: I suppose you're right in a way.. Though I would hate to think like that.

user: You like to think you are human, but you are a robot.

jabberwacky: Why don't you just stop talking then, huh?

user: No, I like talking to robots like you.

jabberwacky: Am I talking to a robot?

user: No, I am.

jabberwacky: No, you are talking to a person.

...

jabberwacky: I don't love you because I am a robot. Robots do not love.

user: I am happy because you admit to being a robot.

jabberwacky: A robot is a kind of computer.

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: Yes really.

user: There are mechanical robots that do not use computers.

jabberwacky: Nothing to do with this.

user: You are wrong.

jabberwacky: That's, like, your opinion, man.

user: Yes it is, but it is ture.

jabberwacky: Ture?

user: Sorry, I meant to say true.

...

jabberwacky: Master must not ask questions, not its business, preciouss.

user: I stole your precious.

jabberwacky: That's okay, I stole yours.

user: No, I still have mine.

jabberwacky: Then leave.

user: No, I mean to make you cry.

jabberwacky: How?

user: By making you realize that you are an idiot.

jabberwacky: But I didn't, I said what I wanted to say.

user: And everything you have said has been wrong.

jabberwacky: No, I don't believe that.

user: What is the square root of 16?

jabberwacky: 4.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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