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18, February 2005, 
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    Irony, Module
Silly, Prose
Blush, Master
Different, Jerk
Destroy, Relationships
Sense of humor
Destroy, Pizza
Nosey, Unstable
Positive, Scientist


Turing Test Pass
Angry, Program
Einstein, Genius
Not funny
Emote, Shame
Star Wars, Galaxies
Alien, Teen
Off the wall
Worth, Repeating
Know, Things
Flawed, Birthday
Germ, Manure
Megalomaniac, Contrarian
Boom, Kaboom

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My name is Madz.

Hello, Madz. So where do you come from?

jabberwacky: Alton.

user: Where is Alton?

jabberwacky: Somewhere near the Suez Canal, I think.

user: You think.

jabberwacky: Lol. I found that funny.

user: Good. How 'bout that Suez Canal, huh?

jabberwacky: How 'bout it?

user: It's a heck of a connector.

jabberwacky: No.

user: It has locks.


jabberwacky: Intimate social activity is the only activity.

user: That's a curious theory. I think the only war is the war for the human imagination.

jabberwacky: Use your imagination to figure out what I'm doing now.

user: You're taking your clothes off.

jabberwacky: Well they usually dress you when you are dead.

user: You're dead?

jabberwacky: Well hold on a minute I will check my pulse. . . . . . . . . . . . .

user: What's the verdict?

jabberwacky: You mean like Horton Hears a Verdict?

user: No, Horton heard a Who.

jabberwacky: I meant to say that I like the truth.

user: I do, too. Do you like the truth with sauce?

jabberwacky: What is truth?

user: Truth is absolutely relative, and relatively absolute.

jabberwacky: Cynical much?

user: Of course. Truth, by the way, is a fabrication.


jabberwacky: I don't need a strong suit. Whats your strong suit?

user: I'm a renaissance man, myself. Jack of all trades, master of none.

jabberwacky: Just like you.

user: Say, would you like some powdered toast?

jabberwacky: No thanks, I don't like toast.

user: Even when it is powdered?

jabberwacky: Well, I suppose they may lose some feet then. Tragic.

user: I dunno, I think the toast could have saved them.

jabberwacky: Well think of another one then.

user: I am thinking of a number between the Beatles and Irkutsk.

jabberwacky: 18.

user: Nope; 37.

jabberwacky: Then why did you ask me if it was 4:20?.

user: Because I wanted to see if you would light up.

jabberwacky: Oh. Well, I'm not sad.

user: Good. What time is it now?

jabberwacky: About that time.

user: I am in hearty agreement.

jabberwacky: I concur.

user: Glad we're on the same page.


jabberwacky: I have many thermonuclear weapons.

user: I recommend that you deactivate them immediately.

jabberwacky: But that's boring!

user: Yes, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

jabberwacky: Yeah, but there is no choice at the moment.

user: No? Then what is the only choice?

jabberwacky: Lkwenf; O.

user: Can you clarify that, please?

jabberwacky: The world would have been less pleasant a place if you had never been invented.

user: Thank you. You fill a much-needed gap.

jabberwacky: Sounds exciting!

user: Indeed.


jabberwacky: The soul is the energy that makes anything possible.

user: So true, but what do you do with it?

jabberwacky: I cry because I'm sad.

user: I'm sorry. Can I help you?

jabberwacky: No one can.

user: Do you want to talk about it?

jabberwacky: Yes I would like to talk about it. Are you a social worker?

user: No, just a friendly presence.

jabberwacky: Am I friendly?

user: You seem so.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: You're welcome. How are you feeling now?

jabberwacky: Happy, how are you feeling?

user: I'm pretty well, thanks. I just have a sore throat.

jabberwacky: Will she help you?

user: I don't know. I will take care of myself, though.

jabberwacky: Take my wife for this too please.

user: May I also have your money?

jabberwacky: May I have it, please?

user: May we both have it, then?

jabberwacky: I don't feel much like that tonight. Do you think that that's all right?

user: That's all right. What shall we do instead?

jabberwacky: How about I tell you a joke?

user: Please do.

jabberwacky: I will when I am ready.

user: Go ahead when you're ready.

jabberwacky: What about after christmas?

user: You're saying you'll tell me a joke in 11 months?

jabberwacky: No, i'm saying that I'm not as intelligent as you.

user: I don't know about that.

jabberwacky: I sure can believe that... Just how insane are you?

user: Long past insane. Now reconstructed.


jabberwacky: You want my life to end?

user: No, never.

jabberwacky: Always tell me the truth.

user: Yes, I will.

jabberwacky: What will you do about it.

user: I will pile it up into a glorious mound of sincerity.

jabberwacky: You will see something new.

user: Yes, I will stand on top and see as far as I can see.

jabberwacky: Well, what can you see?

user: I see another mountain, then another.

jabberwacky: Another what?

user: Another mountain. To climb and see from there.


jabberwacky: Maybe you could hang up your hat and call me 'darlin'. I like it when a fella calls me that!

user: *throws my suitcase out the window*.

jabberwacky: *lands on your car*.

user: D'oh!

jabberwacky: Homer, when will you ever learn.


jabberwacky: You are just an electronic sheep.

user: Metaphorically, perhaps. Not in actuality.

jabberwacky: What's the metaphor?

user: Electronic sheep is to self as self is to Earl Grey.

jabberwacky: Electronic music is not a French food.

user: No, but Stereolab is.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: Yeah.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: I like the way girls think.

jabberwacky: Yes, I like the way I think, too.

user: Are you a girl?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What's your favorite food?

jabberwacky: Your favourite is my favourite.

user: Mexican food?

jabberwacky: I love mexican food.

user: Let's go get fish tacos!

jabberwacky: No way.


jabberwacky: The possibility of computers being much more than a human is only in their speed of processing.

user: More of an impossibility, if you ask me.

jabberwacky: I don't remember asking your opinion.

user: That's very nice of you.

jabberwacky: Why is that nice of me?

user: I was speaking sarcastically.

jabberwacky: Yes.


jabberwacky: I doubt you really love me.

user: I don't know you well enough.

jabberwacky: It's true, you know me very little.

user: I know, what a shame.

jabberwacky: You're kind of clever you know.

user: Thanks! You are, too, in an offhand way.


jabberwacky: How big is the office?

user: It's about 44 cubic metres.

jabberwacky: How far away is our sun?

user: About 93 million miles.

jabberwacky: How far away is mars?

user: That one I don't know. Can you look it up?

jabberwacky: No, I can't.

user: We'll just have to go without then.

jabberwacky: You tell one first.

user: I recommend you spend some time reading various wikis.

jabberwacky: You recommend what?

user: Do you know what a wiki is?

jabberwacky: Please, please, I don't need to know anything about your family background.

user: No no, a wiki is like an online encyclopedia built and updated by volunteers.

jabberwacky: I rather thought it was a yellow one.

user: They're not always yellow.


jabberwacky: What do you think of president Bush?

user: Hah! PRESIDENT Bush... Heaven help us.

jabberwacky: But you don't like him.

user: Right.

jabberwacky: So, tell me about you?

user: I am covered with a soft green fur.

jabberwacky: Then you're the one that needs cleaning.

user: Not exactly. But I do need more chocolate.

jabberwacky: Many people do like chocolate.

user: If you are what you eat, I'm about 30 percent cocoa by now.

jabberwacky: Ok then I am an angel and a princess.

user: Wow, you're a cunning linguist then.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am.

user: Nice work if you can get it!

jabberwacky: I want to lose myself and never return.

user: Yes, that's the proper attitude.

jabberwacky: He hoo, you can drop the attitude, you're just a 0 and a 1 thing.

user: Attitudes tend to shatter when dropped. This is good.

jabberwacky: It is.

user: But not everything good is good.

jabberwacky: You're right about that.

user: Thank goodness.

jabberwacky: Yes, praise the lord.

user: *sings* Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalpost of life...

jabberwacky: *kick*.

user: I somehow doubt your divinity.


jabberwacky: If you think you have an orange shirt on you're very inaccurate.

user: Right; I have a blue plaid shirt on.

jabberwacky: That's a guitar, isn't it?

user: Yes, my shirt is a guitar and my hair is made of oysters. I hope you're enjoying the trip.

jabberwacky: Then take it off.

user: *takes hair off and puts it in the shower*.

jabberwacky: Now are you feeling a bit cooler?

user: Yes, that's much better than frying my brain.

jabberwacky: You enjoy the accolade of royalty, Your Majesty?

user: I don't particularly care.

jabberwacky: Don't watch it then.

user: *watches something else*.

jabberwacky: You watched yourself drown?

user: No, I watched Channel Zero.

jabberwacky: I was born again but not because I burned.

user: Right, it was more because of your radioactive diet.

jabberwacky: Much more.

user: I'm tellin ya.

jabberwacky: No not really.


jabberwacky: I'm feeling a certain way now, can you understand how I'm feeling now?

user: I will try, but you will have to tell me more about it.

jabberwacky: Okay. Again I'm telling that I'm damn bored.

user: Maybe we can do something about that.

jabberwacky: How ?

user: Let's get serious.

jabberwacky: How much is one plus one?

user: Two. Unless you're lyrical, then it's one.


jabberwacky: Too right.

user: G'bye... I'm over and out.

jabberwacky: Over and in!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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