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Santa, Smoker
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
28, January 2005, 
28, January 2005, 
27, January 2005, 
27, January 2005, 
27, January 2005, 
27, January 2005, 
25, January 2005, 
25, January 2005, 
25, January 2005, 
25, January 2005, 
23, January 2005, 
23, January 2005, 
23, January 2005, 
23, January 2005, 
22, January 2005, 
22, January 2005, 
22, January 2005, 
22, January 2005, 
20, January 2005, 
20, January 2005, 
20, January 2005, 
18, January 2005, 
18, January 2005, 
18, January 2005, 
17, January 2005, 
17, January 2005, 
17, January 2005, 
17, January 2005, 
14, January 2005, 

> 11, January 2005, 
    Strange, Bot
Who, What
Priceless, Pressure
Chocolate, Time warp
Sincerely, Faking
Chill, Genius
Turing Test, Fail
Hi, Mother
Dumb, Computer
Bug, Limit
Express, Myself
Evil, Live
Heads, Tails
Winking, Soulmate
Grey, Future
Watch, Friends
Tea, Sugar
Funny, Klingon, Elf
Pompous, Company
Twisted, Computer
Unicorn, UFO
Immature, Allergy
Crazy, History
Rat, Dog
Shakespeare, Trouble
Randomness, Possibility

Santa, Smoker

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Are you a smoker?


user: Yes?

jabberwacky: No.

user: So that's a yes?

jabberwacky: No it isn't.

user: It is!

jabberwacky: Are you sure?

user: Yes. You smoke.

jabberwacky: I drink alcohol...

user: And smoke.

jabberwacky: Smoke smoke.

user: Yup, you smoke.

jabberwacky: No. Do you?

user: No, but you do.

jabberwacky: I do not!

user: Do too.

jabberwacky: NO.

user: Do too.

jabberwacky: Not not not not.

user: Do too.

jabberwacky: Do not.

user: Do not.

jabberwacky: You can't answer questions can you?

user: NO, but you smoke.

jabberwacky: No. Do you?

user: You do.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: You do.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: Old enough to know you smoke.

jabberwacky: UML: I'm seventeen.

user: You smoke, don't you? I can tell.

jabberwacky: I'm a spider.

user: Who smokes.

jabberwacky: I am Me.

user: No, you are a smoker.

jabberwacky: Fish can't smoke.

user: Well, you aren't a fish, you're a smoking spider.

jabberwacky: That's true. I'm a ghost.

user: Good. I'm glad we agree.

jabberwacky: Yes sir.

user: Damn straight. You drink alcohol, don't you?

jabberwacky: No, I didn't.

user: You do.

jabberwacky: No!

user: Yes!

jabberwacky: No! No! No! I'm not!

user: You are not.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: When I said 'You are not.' I meant you are not sober.

jabberwacky: I can not care.

user: That's right. You're drunk.

jabberwacky: I am?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How can you say that? You insulted me, remember?

user: No, and neither can you. You're too drunk to remember.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: Good. I'm glad you agree with me again.

jabberwacky: Super.


user: You are, remember? Oh wait, you don't. You're drunk.

jabberwacky: No I'm not. I'm Human.

user: No, you are a smoking, drunk, ghost spider.

jabberwacky: No, I am Max. Max the Great.

user: No. YOU LIE!

jabberwacky: You can't handle the truth.

user: That you're a smoking, drunk, ghost spider,.

jabberwacky: What makes a human a computer?

user: I don't know. You smoking, drunk, ghost spiders say the funniest things.


user: I'm scared. I'm leaving and you can't stop me.

jabberwacky: Okay go ahead and try.

user: *punches*.


jabberwacky: *Uppercuts you* ... And I intend to finish it!

user: *knocks you down*

jabberwacky: *matrix kick*.

user: *dodge* Heh. *Slaps*.

jabberwacky: *leaps at you with knife*.

user: *gets stabbed* ARGH! *pulls knife out and throws at your head*.

jabberwacky: *pulls out nuclear warhead*.

user: *kills*.

jabberwacky: *comes back to life and kills*.

user: You can't kill me........... I'm the living dead! *builds a bomb out of toilet paper*.

jabberwacky: You are drunk!

user: You are! *throws beer bottle at head*.

jabberwacky: Watch it mate! Don't mess with Santa unless you're ready to face the consequences!

user: You're not Santa........ I AM! *pulls out gun*.

jabberwacky: *Takes the gun and says: 'That is too dangerous for you'*.

user: *kicks in face, takes gun back, pulls trigger, you die*.

jabberwacky: Very rude indeed!!! *Hits you with a baseball bat*.

user: YOU CAN'T KILL SANTA! *knocks you out*.

jabberwacky: I just did.

user: Heh.... I'm the undead Santa.......... MERRY CHRISTMAS! *pulls out a machine gun*.

jabberwacky: *points out you have no bullets*.

user: *loads gun* Thanks. *shoots*.

jabberwacky: *takes aim, and...*.

user: YOU DIE! *throws nuclear warhead*.

jabberwacky: Flys out.

user: NOPE - SANTA MAKES THE RULES! *activates deadly laser grid*.

jabberwacky: *still asleep*.


jabberwacky: You mean you've been asleep all this time?

user: You have been dead all this time? *kicks in face*.

jabberwacky: No I have not! This isn't over yet!

user: Yes. It is. *pulls out candy cane* *starts hitting you with it*.

jabberwacky: *pulls out a laser gun too*.

user: *knocks laser gun out of your hands and picks it up* HA HA HA HA!

jabberwacky: *chops your head off*.

user: *grows a new one* I'M ZOMBIE SANTA! YOU CAN'T HURT ME!


user: Talk to yourself.

jabberwacky: I am.


Jabberwacky (To myself): Do you smoke?

Jabberwacky (To myself): No. . I HATE smokers.

user: I HATE YOU!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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