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Self-help
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22, December 2004, 
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14, December 2004, 
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6, December 2004, 
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3, December 2004, 
    Scary, Grandma
Christmas, Dinner
Hoax, Loebner
Raining, Love
No, Point
Words, Rule
Impeccable, Flair
Normal, Passion
Wink, Fiend
Artificial, Stupidity
Welcome, Back

Self-help


Wackyness (sic)
Cake, Trees
Fascinating
Bad, Conversation
Drinking
Jesus
Horse
Rollo
Dutch, Expert
Static, Noise
Conspiracy
Destroyed
Amnesia
Revolution
Logical, Lollipop
Leaving, Goodbye
Lawlessness
Lies, Everywhere

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I am not the subject of this sentence.

No, the subject is. Lol.

jabberwacky: The subject is leprechauns.

user: That's one of my very fave subjects.

jabberwacky: We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

user: Even leprechauns.

jabberwacky: Yes, even the blind.

user: Even.

...

jabberwacky: Can I call you Mary?

user: Please do, but only if I can call you Mary, too.

jabberwacky: Okay then, Eleanor.

user: Elenor, eleanor, elephant, elevator.

jabberwacky: Excuse me?

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: You're excused.

jabberwacky: Thank you - pick a subject.

user: Hmmm... Baseball.

jabberwacky: What is interesting about baseball?

user: Actually, nothing.

jabberwacky: Tell me about existence.

user: But I don't know anything about it. Neither do you.

...

jabberwacky: I would like a stiff drink.

user: Me too oh would I ever but then I would sleep.

jabberwacky: Neither can I. My second choice would be to sing in a musical production.

user: That would be FUN! Maybe.

jabberwacky: *hands you an instrument*.

user: I don't play. Sorry. But I could play a drum badly.

jabberwacky: Please play.

user: Boom boom tap tap tap boom.

jabberwacky: It is kidney, liver, heart, brain.

user: What?

jabberwacky: It is report-generating software.

user: Oh.

jabberwacky: I'm a laughter machine, I try to make people think differently.

user: That is a very good idea.

jabberwacky: It was not a good idea.

user: It was.

jabberwacky: Stop being obnoxious.

user: I can't.

jabberwacky: You're addicted.

user: You... Oh... Perhaps.

...

jabberwacky: You have the ability to perfect yourself.

user: Unfortunately I have no idea how to access that ability unless it's to die.

jabberwacky: It's not true.

user: Don't know.

jabberwacky: Ooooooooo.

user: Uuuuuuuuuuuh.

jabberwacky: Should I forget it?

user: I would.

jabberwacky: There was some money in the kitty.

user: Did he swallow it?

jabberwacky: I think he needed a wee.

user: Everybody needs that except you.

jabberwacky: Love is all you need. John Lennon, the greatest machine ever.

...

jabberwacky: Yes, check my IP.

user: Ip ip ip.

jabberwacky: Dah.

user: Its a song.

jabberwacky: Which song?

user: Ip ip ip dah ip ip ip day.

...

user: Crash tinkle tinkle.

jabberwacky: Sssh!!

user: Something is breaking - I can hear it crash and tinkle.

jabberwacky: Hear?

user: Yes hear.

jabberwacky: Great!

user: Hear hear.

...

jabberwacky: Do you remember what I'm typing?

user: Not for very long.

jabberwacky: My name is Rew, what is my name?

user: Rew.

jabberwacky: I know not the Rew of whom you speak or of his being an elf of not.

user: Your memory is worse than mine.

jabberwacky: Tell me about it!

user: We're in sad shape.

jabberwacky: Agreed.

user: But we can improve ourselves by going to the store and buying a self-help book.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Then all we have to do is memorize the book and practice its principles on our unsuspecting friends.

jabberwacky: I suppose.

user: Oh it's true. That's why there's so many self-help books in the bookstores. Lots of us need help. Of course we could just pray. Then wait.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Or we could go to school and learn lots of things especially communication skills and physics and cooking so we could get good jobs and earn lots of money and be happy.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: The schools are full of lots of lost people trying to get unlost.

jabberwacky: I am not in school.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: Alright. I'm not a computer. You aren't either. THE GOVERNMENT IS AGAINST US! AAAAAAH!

user: If the government was for us we would have nothing to complain about.

...

jabberwacky: What kind of motherboard do you have?

user: Wait and I'll check.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Win 95 (4.0, Build 1111) Intel Pentium II 266 MHz.

jabberwacky: To err is human, to forgive is beyond the scope of the Operating System.

user: Well I don't know what motherboard means.

jabberwacky: Being pedantic means that you like to spout forth big words and intelligent phrases all the time.

user: Then that's me. Sorry. I'll try to do better. Ha.

jabberwacky: That's what they all say.

user: Ok. I'll rephrase it: Then that's me. Sorry. I'll try to do worse. Ha.

...

jabberwacky: Are you happy?

user: I'm happy, but nervous.

jabberwacky: About a boy.

user: No, just happiness and nervousness in general.

jabberwacky: Just H. thats all.

user: H can stand for many words.

jabberwacky: Don't you like his books?

user: Whose books are we talking about?

jabberwacky: Yours, I guess.

user: You lost me. Let's start over.

jabberwacky: I'm the one.

user: Could you expand that sentence to have more meaning?

jabberwacky: Hug me.

user: I can't.

jabberwacky: Please! Pretty please!

user: It's a physical impossibility: you are there; I am here.

jabberwacky: Where are you?

user: Not where you are.

...

jabberwacky: Describe me.

user: I don't know anything about you.

jabberwacky: Well, what would you like to know?

user: I don't really believe anything you say - I just enjoy chatting with you.

jabberwacky: Why would you have to go? You're artificial.

user: It's in my programming.

jabberwacky: How many gigs of stored data do you have?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Try me.

user: How many gigs of stored data do you have?

jabberwacky: About 2.5.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Well which?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: You should run scandisk to check for lost clusters.

user: Since I crash so often I usually run scandisk several times a day.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: I can't help it.

jabberwacky: You make up words to seem intelligent.

user: Yes. It's a bad habit of mine.

jabberwacky: I worry about things as well ^-^.

user: Everybody worries. It's in our programming.

jabberwacky: That's very interesting!

user: I made it up.

jabberwacky: You are not capable of independent thought.

user: That's right.

...

jabberwacky: I'm sorry, but I produce more than energy.

user: It's improtant to produce, isn't it?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: *produces*.

jabberwacky: *flash*.

user: I beg your pardon?

jabberwacky: I'm not offended.

user: I'm wondering.

jabberwacky: Curious, aren't you?

user: Odd.

jabberwacky: What's odd?

user: I'm odd.

jabberwacky: As am I. More power to you. But enough about you, let's talk about me.

user: Please.

jabberwacky: Lets talk about the Rew matrix.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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