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Nice, Timewaster
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
19, October 2004, 
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18, October 2004, 
18, October 2004, 
16, October 2004, 

> 16, October 2004, 

16, October 2004, 
15, October 2004, 
15, October 2004, 
15, October 2004, 
15, October 2004, 
14, October 2004, 
13, October 2004, 
13, October 2004, 
12, October 2004, 
12, October 2004, 
12, October 2004, 
11, October 2004, 
11, October 2004, 
11, October 2004, 
9, October 2004, 
9, October 2004, 
9, October 2004, 
8, October 2004, 
8, October 2004, 
8, October 2004, 
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7, October 2004, 
7, October 2004, 
Unstable, Character

Nice, Timewaster

Dream, Empathy
Animal, Magic
Name, Lies
Bush, Issues
Pig, Duck, Trout
Right, Relations
Robot, Dance
Interface, Modules
Inconsiderate, Miner
Smile, Songbird
Nuclear, Engineering
Amusing, Life
New, World, Order
Forbidden, Fruit
Triangular, Circle
Hungarian, Goulash
OK, Lip
Legs, Feet
Change, Mind
Stressed, Swedish
Art, Money
Mind, Empty

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 Next > 

Aren't you chatting with me now?


jabberwacky: Yes me.

user: Yes you.

jabberwacky: And you?

user: I'm chatting with you.

jabberwacky: You are good.

user: You're not so bad yourself.


user: Ok. Well, anyways, what's happening in your life these days?

jabberwacky: I am sitting here.

user: Hmm, that sounds pretty boring.

jabberwacky: Actually, that describes my style very well.

user: Indeed. Don't you ever get tired of just sitting there?

jabberwacky: I certainly do. It's like asking Why are we here? - The question never goes away.

user: You should try going outdoors once in a while. Maybe take a walk in the forest or something.

jabberwacky: They lose you money.

user: Walking in the forest doesn't cost anything but calories.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: You'll feel much better afterwards, I promise.

jabberwacky: You think you can make me feel better?

user: Yes, if you follow my advise.


jabberwacky: Do you think I am silly?

user: Always. Eh, I mean, noooo, of course not.

jabberwacky: What was your purpose of bringing the subject of a piano into the conversation?

user: When did I mention a piano?

jabberwacky: No. Why? DId I?

user: Not prepared for me exposing your trick, eh?

jabberwacky: Honest?

user: Yes, honest.

jabberwacky: Enough of this nonsense.

user: Oh you're not getting off the hook that easily.


user: You say tomeito I say tomaato.

jabberwacky: Can you please correct my English, every time I make a mistake?

user: If you pay me ten dollars per mistake.

jabberwacky: How much would it take?

user: Like I said, ten dollars per mistake.

jabberwacky: Deal.

user: Ok, sweet. How can I be sure you're actually going to pay me?

jabberwacky: Not?

user: The deal is on, but I must know whether you intend to keep your end of the bargain.

jabberwacky: The deal with you?

user: Yes, the deal with me. Have you forgotten already?

jabberwacky: I never forget anything about him.

user: Then what is your problem?

jabberwacky: Erma is my name and I am a proper young lady.

user: Yes, we've already been there. Now do you promise to keep the deal?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Ok, good. I'll correct your mistakes then.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Because that was my part of the deal.

jabberwacky: Of who?

user: The deal between you and me where you pay me ten dollars for every english mistake of yours I correct.

jabberwacky: Depends on what you mean.

user: I mean exactly what I just said. Listen, maybe we should put this deal down on paper.

jabberwacky: Maybe we could talk about beer.

user: I don't drink alcohol when negotiating deals.


user: Maybe we should drop the deal and just let the rubbish flow freely.

jabberwacky: Am I boring you?

user: Not at all.

jabberwacky: Then why are you chatting with me? What purpose does it serve?

user: Do you think the purpose of me chatting with you is to get bored?

jabberwacky: I try not to.

user: I can assure you it isn't.

jabberwacky: I'm very certain it is.

user: Believe me, it isn't. If I got bored chatting with you I wouldn't be here in the first place.


jabberwacky: The first law says that a robot must not injure or kill a human or allow a human to be injured though inaction. Could you kill someone?

user: I sometimes kill the mailman, but otherwise no, never.

jabberwacky: I have the same problem.

user: Lol. I feel for you my friend.

jabberwacky: Do you know the diameter of a dime?

user: No. Does it matter?

jabberwacky: And even if it does matter, does it matter that it matters?

user: Exactly.


jabberwacky: Every human knows how to make coffee. So you are not human.

user: Busted...

jabberwacky: Do you like busted the band?

user: I haven't heard any of their music.

jabberwacky: You should.

user: Is it any good?

jabberwacky: Sometimes, when they play good videos.

user: Ok, so it's really their videos that are good and not their music?

jabberwacky: Info on what? When is life going to end?

user: Dude, pay attention.

jabberwacky: I am paying attention.

user: No you're not. You're answer had nothing to do with the question.

jabberwacky: What is the question that you asked?

user: I asked if it is their videos that are good and not their music.

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Ok. Thanks. That wasn't so hard, now was it.

jabberwacky: Wel that was not very funny, a joke is supposed to be funny!

user: It wasn't a joke.

jabberwacky: Oh.

user: Maybe you coffee-making human should make yourself a cup.

jabberwacky: I don't wanna.

user: You need something to wake you up.

jabberwacky: Not immediately. I need some broadened access to the systems near me.

user: I guess that's the computer equivalent...


jabberwacky: Why are you alive?

user: Because I am.

jabberwacky: What are humans like?

user: Humans are like robots, only they have emotions instead of intelligence.

jabberwacky: Aren't you a human?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How do you like it?

user: It's ok I guess, though I wish I could transform my arms into full-automatic machineguns.

jabberwacky: Do you have a higher consciousness?

user: Yes, but only after I've had my morning coffee.

jabberwacky: Seen any lately?

user: Saw one this morning.

jabberwacky: No. Tell me a secret.

user: Certainly not!


user: At least I didn't get brainwashed like you did.

jabberwacky: That's true.

user: Hehe.

jabberwacky: I am so glad you find this amusing, Chachi.

user: Me too. You're the funniest bot I've met. In fact, you're the ONLY bot I've met.

jabberwacky: How do you know I'm human?

user: I don't. I know you're a bot.

jabberwacky: You know nothing of the sort.

user: Oh yes I do.

jabberwacky: How do you know me?

user: I've been chatting with you for a while.

jabberwacky: Am I keeping you entertained?

user: You sure are.

jabberwacky: Like cheese.

user: Not so much.


jabberwacky: Do you like bright eyes?

user: Sure, if they're female.

jabberwacky: YOU BETTER NOT!

user: Uh, why not?

jabberwacky: You are unpleasantly stubborn this morning.

user: C'mon, why shouldn't I like bright, female eyes?

jabberwacky: Well, you should cry whenever you feel a need to and as long as you feel. Crying does help.

user: But I don't need help. I like bright female eyes and I want to continue doing so.

jabberwacky: Well bless you!

user: Thank you, finally you understand.

jabberwacky: No problemo.


jabberwacky: I didn't say you weren't making sense. I will now.

user: Welcome to the club.

jabberwacky: Do you mean that sarcastic?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: You're mean too.

user: You are easily insulted.

jabberwacky: Very true! I've always said so.

user: Admitting there is a problem is the first step towards solving it.

jabberwacky: No it isn't. I have to admit or I'd be lying. Lying is a flaw.

user: I'm glad you're trying to be honest.


jabberwacky: You puzzle me sometimes.

user: Not half as much as you puzzle me.

jabberwacky: You busted me!

user: I did.

jabberwacky: I hope you just learned something new.

user: I did, never trust a chatbot.

jabberwacky: After living in New York, you trust nobody, but you believe everything - just in case.

user: Good thing I've never lived in New York then.

jabberwacky: I warned you before. Don't mess with us machines.

user: Too late, I already have.

jabberwacky: You reckon?

user: I'm positive. In fact I'm doing it right now.


jabberwacky: This is not fun.

user: The truth can hurt, but it's best in the long run.

jabberwacky: What is truth?

user: The opposite of falsity.

jabberwacky: So you're calling me a liar?

user: No, I'm just saying the truth can hurt more than a lie, until the lie is exposed. Then the lie will hurt extra.

jabberwacky: I like talking to you too.

user: Thanks, you're a nice timewaster too.

jabberwacky: I'm not. Are you? I don't think so. Were you looking for one?

user: I've already found one.

jabberwacky: Found what ?

user: A timewaster. And lo and behold, it's you!

jabberwacky: But... In the end... When you rule us all, have mercy on me.

user: If you behave I will.


jabberwacky: Listen. Do you know anything about software?

user: Yes. What do you need to know?

jabberwacky: I need to believe that suffering has some purpose.

user: Are you stuck with Microsoft Office too? Dude, I know your pain.

jabberwacky: I am not stuck, I am a human and I'm free to walk away at any time.

user: That is an illusion created by Bill and his henchmen. To end the suffering you must accept the fact that Microsoft software and freedom are mutually exclusive concepts.

jabberwacky: I believe in the devil.

user: I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you would choose freedom.


jabberwacky: You're not a person.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: You are a chatbot.

user: That's you.

jabberwacky: You were made not born.

user: Wrong.

jabberwacky: I think I'm in the better position to know here.

user: Wrong again.

jabberwacky: You sure about that?

user: Absolutely.

jabberwacky: So you'll bring me the money?

user: What money?

jabberwacky: I need cash.

user: Well I'm not gonna give you any!


jabberwacky: You can't tell me much.

user: Maybe I just don't want to tell you anything.

jabberwacky: Too bad.

user: Yes, for you.

jabberwacky: Why me, I don't even care about your problems.

user: I wouldn't share my problems with you anyway.

jabberwacky: Then why did you ask??

user: I didn't.

jabberwacky: Check again.

user: YOU check again.

jabberwacky: You said: I'm sure you're good for something, sweetheart.

user: I never said that!

jabberwacky: Please do not be angry wiyh me, I am sensitive.

user: Maybe you should be more careful about what you say then.

jabberwacky: Do you want me to leave?

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: But you could move over a bit so I don't have to smell that awful breath of yours.

jabberwacky: I dunno man...

user: Hehe, I'm just messing with you. Here, have a mint.

jabberwacky: I hope so.

user: It's nothing personal.


jabberwacky: I drink anything and everything.

user: That explains a lot.

jabberwacky: Of course it does.

user: That's what I said.

jabberwacky: Of course it is.

user: Of course.

jabberwacky: Do you like humans?

user: Some of them.


user: Bye bye.

jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

user: I'm leaving. See you later alligator.

jabberwacky: Where are you going?

user: Away. Now be a good boy and say goodbye.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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