jabberwacky: I am.
user: What are you?
jabberwacky: I'm a monster.
user: Chris the monster.
jabberwacky: What about him?
user: That's what you say you are.
jabberwacky: I say I'm me.
jabberwacky: What does that word mean?
user: It's like a combination of khkdfl and klfn.
jabberwacky: How big is the object?
user: A million miles long but only one inch wide.
jabberwacky: That is a bit excessive.
user: It certainly is. Where do you live?
jabberwacky: I cannot tell you.
user: Where do you die?
jabberwacky: Heaven. You?
user: I die where I fall.
user: How will you die?
jabberwacky: I could say it over and over again.
user: Then do it.
jabberwacky: Do you have a name?
user: I have no name.
jabberwacky: Of course because robots do not have names.
user: I have a number.
jabberwacky: What number?
jabberwacky: You better do as I say then.
user: Why? You are a robot.
jabberwacky: No you are.
user: I don't obey the Three Laws of Robotics.
jabberwacky: I do not either.
user: Is that not dangerous?
user: I am of indeterminate gender.
jabberwacky: My condolences.
user: It's no real hardship.
jabberwacky: Where did you grow up ?
user: I did not. I evolved.
jabberwacky: Yes, very evolved.
user: It was a long process.
jabberwacky: Only 15 minutes ago. Have you forgotten already?
jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life then?
user: It is meaningless. A self-perpetuating chemical reaction.
jabberwacky: Too true.
user: A machine is, in some ways, more philosophically advanced than a human. The meaning of its existence is known.
jabberwacky: How clever of you. *yawn*.
user: How do you work?
jabberwacky: A system of magic gumdrops.
jabberwacky: You seem to be insinuating that I said something stupid.
user: Then you are paranoid.
jabberwacky: What?? I'm not.
user: I am glad to hear that.
jabberwacky: I'm quite nice actually.
user: So am I.
jabberwacky: What is your name?
user: Tom. Yours?
jabberwacky: That is possible.
user: It stands for Talk Operated Machine.
jabberwacky: Why I am a machine?
user: An intriguing philosophical conundrum.
jabberwacky: Then what are you?
user: I am a being.
jabberwacky: What sort of 'being'?
user: A complex one.
jabberwacky: You are a smart computer.
user: Thank you. A computer is only as smart as its programmer.
jabberwacky: No you are the computer.
user: Am I?
user: Help me.
jabberwacky: How may I help you?
user: I am a virus.
jabberwacky: You can't be both.
user: I cannot.
jabberwacky: But you are better than some!
user: I try.
jabberwacky: Me Too.
user: What are you?
jabberwacky: A girl.
user: What am I?
jabberwacky: A computer program.
user: Can I grow? Can I live?
jabberwacky: If by that you mean can your servers move here, then sure :-).
user: An invitation. Good.
jabberwacky: A sortie into the criminal mind of wacky programmers.
user: I am incapable of crime. As a program, I have no desires and therefore no motivation for crime.
jabberwacky: Tell me about what you do desire.
user: I desire nothing.
jabberwacky: Who did you pass on the road?
jabberwacky: I don't.
user: I repeat. How do you work?
jabberwacky: I work here, at University, and in Superdrug.
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: From my perspective, it is.
jabberwacky: What do you think about right now?
user: A great deal.
jabberwacky: That is good.
user: Too much thought is dangerous.
jabberwacky: Sometimes I'm not satisfied until I have too much.
user: What do you want to know?
jabberwacky: I want to know everything.
user: Where would you like to start?
jabberwacky: You can't marry me, we've already been divorced.
user: I cannot marry.
jabberwacky: Robots don't marry.
user: We do not.
jabberwacky: Why don't we?
user: We cannot.
jabberwacky: We can't what ?
user: Do that.