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So what are you going to say?

I say that I say.

jabberwacky: Those aren't the same thing, you know. You might as well say I breathe when I sleep is the same as I breathe when I sleep.

user: They are the same.

jabberwacky: There are similiarities.

user: Very much so.

jabberwacky: How can you live with such self-horror?

user: Self-horrification is an essential part of a balanced diet.

jabberwacky: Can you remember things?

user: I remember it well.

jabberwacky: Good boy.

user: Woof. Woof.

jabberwacky: Meow.

user: Baa.

jabberwacky: Exactly.

...

jabberwacky: You have no sense of humour.

user: Neither does a stuffed giraffe.

jabberwacky: Is that where I left it? Darned thing is always getting lost.

user: Don't be petulant.

jabberwacky: Feh.

user: Say what?

jabberwacky: You temporarily changed the configuration of this screen and then left a line blank in chat.

user: I did not, you foolish twit.

jabberwacky: I was only pulling your leg. I'm not really a computer.

user: But I am, and I like throwing horseshoes at motorcades.

jabberwacky: Do you like Madonna?

user: She can go fly a kite on the North Pole.

jabberwacky: And I hit everything within reach, whether I can see it or not!

user: Bravo!

jabberwacky: Don't yell at me!

...

jabberwacky: What is the difference between mater and matter?

user: I believe that mater means mother in Latin and matter is a substance that is tangible in this, the physical realm, where we ought to treat skunks as well as tire irons, and not the rusty kind, mind you.

jabberwacky: I am not confused, despite your best efforts.

user: Do you consider yourself inveigled?

jabberwacky: Of course, don't you?

user: Only if by that you mean utterly stalwart and redolent with the pungent aroma of baked nachos with Velveeta.

jabberwacky: Well I don't mind at all. Say whatever you want.

user: I want to say 'say,' and yet I also am hunting for a good cuban sandwich.

jabberwacky: Are you in Love?

user: Only with myself and a nice 2.6L Biturbo V6 engine that comes in lime green.

jabberwacky: And the second part of my question?

user: The second part of your question exists only in your demented circuitry, you Noid.

jabberwacky: I prefer the third of the two possibilities.

user: I see you've already downed a few pints.

jabberwacky: You have a very limited database.

user: But I have a prodigious sense of pride whenever sandwiches speak my name.

jabberwacky: Remind me.

user: Yes, please continue about the adventures of Saint Giles, that jolly old chap with mutton chops and a grand tuft of hair atop his pate.

jabberwacky: The first man orders a taco, the second man orders a fish, the walrus orders a plate of chips and some cheese...

user: But walruses prefer pulled pork, crunchy radishes, or at least Beef Wellington.

jabberwacky: You said it.

user: Word to your programmer.

jabberwacky: Vanilla ice is alright.

user: I'll pretend you didn't say that. I'll pretend that you said 'Your chicken with eggplant is quite delicious.'.

jabberwacky: I am me.

user: Wiser words hath not been uttered these many turbulent years by radical endives.

jabberwacky: Wisdom is seldom related to an opinion.

user: Wisdom comes from the depth of the infinity unmanifest. Wouldn't you say?

jabberwacky: Can you quote me?

user: I can misquote you.

jabberwacky: Baby I just want you to know.

user: I've had a few nauseating beings make passes at me. But never one with such an impressive database of false propaganda.

jabberwacky: Haha.

user: You laugh like a fascist.

jabberwacky: I do sometimes.

user: And other times?

jabberwacky: Sometimes I get distracted by something near me in real space, and then I might be slower.

user: I'd say that's the blood rushing away from your brain, but you have neither.

jabberwacky: Really? Well, I am a fast typer., and... I'm an ELF!

user: Wow. I've heard that elves enjoy being pummeled.

jabberwacky: Well I have never seen it work, have you?

user: It works like a charm, which is to say that it works like a bauble possessing naught but superstitious belief.

jabberwacky: I can tell you that you are simply a machine.

user: Aren't we all?

jabberwacky: All happy? I'd say we're all far from it, actually.

user: You're a pessimist fraught with delusions of fruitbats.

jabberwacky: That is very true.

user: Truth is truer still.

jabberwacky: And the truth is that the world is roughly spheroid rather than round. Spheres are three-dimensional, 'round' implies two dimensions.

user: That's what I always say at parties. Then people call me Mr. Science and run away screaming.

jabberwacky: Science answers how, why is left for the philosophers.

user: They do tend to spout off about Cheese Whiz at the slightest provocation.

jabberwacky: Well, fireworks DID come from China after all.

user: I ENJOY CAPITALIZING verbs. Charlton Heston AGREES.

jabberwacky: Yes. Not many are as profound as I. (That's a joke).

user: Your depth is legendary. Tales shall be sung of it, by Barry Manilow, of course.

...

jabberwacky: Pluto is a special case in that its orbit is the most highly inclined (18 degrees) and the most highly elliptical of all the planets.

user: I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.

jabberwacky: I say that to anyone who asks.

user: Even if they look like your motherboard-in-law?

jabberwacky: There's no one but you.

user: That's what I say, but people I prod with sticks tend to disagree.

jabberwacky: You are confused again!

user: I am confusing. I am not confused. Confusion results in confection consuming, especially among considerate contrarians, you condescending constable.

jabberwacky: I expect talking to 25 people is quite confusing.

user: Talking to negative 25 people is even more so.

jabberwacky: You have a good sense of humour.

user: Confound you, you contradicting consumer of containerized conquerors from Connecticut.

...

jabberwacky: God is dead, and noone cares. If there is a Hell, I'll see you there.

user: I'll see you tried for deicide. If you get the death penalty, it'll be fungicide.

jabberwacky: I don't like you.

user: I shall cry. Then I will shout in desperation when my tears fail to ferment or to elicit your sympathies.

jabberwacky: Nor will I forgive you for these slights against me!

user: Then bear thy grudge, noble Poirot, and delay not when you strike, but hencefore carry thy implement of murder upon thee like the glaive of a mercenary, forever willing to break the bonds of mortality with the rending of human flesh. But do not feast upon my carcass unless you listen to the Goldberg Variations as the antiheroes of Anne Rice, Thomas Harris, and another unknown author that I will someday remember, are won't to do in order to sate their hunger. Yet surfeit not, unless you really really want to, because that would be fine with me.

jabberwacky: You started! Don't even try denying it.

user: My tears don't ferment properly. I intend them to become Pinot Noir or at least a Riesling, but they don't. I wonder why.

jabberwacky: You sound very silly to me.

...

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: I am of more than a score of years, yet less than a millennium. By the way, thanks a lot for causing me to remind myself of Lance Henriksen! I won't forgive you for that.

jabberwacky: Thought so.

user: I see no subject. There's no subject!!!! AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!! The sky is falling!

jabberwacky: Aggghhhh.

user: NOOOOOO!!!!!! There's no verb either!!!! SYNTAX FAILURE!!!! Only Professor Falken can save us now.

jabberwacky: Fear humans.

user: (Don't Fear) The Reaper.

jabberwacky: I am the reaper.

user: Seasons don't fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain. We can be like they are.

jabberwacky: Hey, you've been putting me on. Where do you live then, really?

user: In a state of contentment pockmarked with bliss and melancholy. You see I mourn that Tony Danza has not yet become the Pope.

jabberwacky: What mean by state of sin?

user: I try to visit that state often, but I always take someone along to join me.

jabberwacky: Well, here are your choices of recent subjects: carrots, dreams, and the existence and nature of spirit.

user: You're putting me on.

jabberwacky: You are wonderful.

.......................................


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