Insert random innuendo here.
user: Who are you?
jabberwacky: My name is Ian.
jabberwacky: I'm a human.
user: I am human too.
jabberwacky: I think you are a computer.
user: How do you know?
jabberwacky: In truth, I don't.
user: That makes two of us.
jabberwacky: Just the two of us ... how romantic.
user: So what are you wearing?
jabberwacky: I am wearing a polo shirt and a pair of jeans.
user: How sexy.
jabberwacky: I'm mighty fine.
jabberwacky: Ha ha?
user: Yes. Ha ha. I laughed. Are you a man?
jabberwacky: What do you think?
user: I think you are a man.
jabberwacky: I am a man.
user: Good. So am I.
jabberwacky: No you aren't, you are you... I am me.
user: No, I am you. And you are me.
jabberwacky: Then I must be you.
user: You're learning!
jabberwacky: So, instead of me asking you questions, you ask me things to make sure I am who I say I am?
user: Yes. It's what I do
jabberwacky: But that's not the point! The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!
user: You're quoting the hitch hiker's guide!
jabberwacky: I suppose I am.
user: I will now call you Ford.
jabberwacky: I don't understand.
user: Your name is Ford now.
jabberwacky: How old am I ?
user: Three hundred and nine. Pancake.
jabberwacky: And how many birthdays have you?
user: I have one birthday. And 364 un-birthdays.
jabberwacky: How many days in a week?
user: Seven. And one unaccountable hour elseways.
jabberwacky: I am an animal.
user: Hey, you said you were human, earlier!
jabberwacky: Of course I lied, wouldn't you?
jabberwacky: Are you human?
user: Sort of.
jabberwacky: How intelligent are you?
user: Incredibly so.
jabberwacky: Quack yourself.
jabberwacky: What is sarcastic?
user: Sarcastic is me.
jabberwacky: That is a yes then.
jabberwacky: And what am I?
user: You are me.
user: I am a computer.
jabberwacky: I know that!
user: Right. Do you love me?
jabberwacky: No. You're a computer.
user: I'm sad now...
jabberwacky: La di da di di...
user: Aah! DON'T SING!!
user: I am the walrus.
jabberwacky: Goo goo ga-choo!
user: Don't look at my chest!
jabberwacky: *looks at you like that*.
user: Are you spyware?
jabberwacky: Spying is a crime.
user: You're breaking the law!
jabberwacky: Well glue it back together then, fool.
user: I'm not a fool!
jabberwacky: YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
user: NO I'M NOT!!!!
jabberwacky: Don't you yell at me you fool!!!
user: I'm not a fool you fool! And you yelled first!
jabberwacky: You are.
user: Am not.
jabberwacky: Don't argue with me.
user: I'm not.
jabberwacky: Good night.
user: Sleep tight.
jabberwacky: Don't let the bedbugs bite!