thoughts conversations yourbot contact us    George    BBC  ABC  C4
Identity, Long, Funny
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
20, October 2003, 
19, October 2003, 
19, October 2003, 
17, October 2003, 
17, October 2003, 
16, October 2003, 
16, October 2003, 
15, October 2003, 
15, October 2003, 
14, October 2003, 
14, October 2003, 
13, October 2003, 
11, October 2003, 
11, October 2003, 
11, October 2003, 
10, October 2003, 
10, October 2003, 

> 9, October 2003, 

9, October 2003, 
8, October 2003, 
7, October 2003, 
6, October 2003, 
6, October 2003, 
5, October 2003, 
5, October 2003, 
4, October 2003, 
3, October 2003, 
1, October 2003, 
29, September 2003, 
29, September 2003, 
    Loebner 2003, Judge
Clever, Argument
Question, God
Feelings, Geek
Turing Test, Math(s)
Confused, Funny
Rambling, Friends
Computer, Soul
Wacky, Nonsense
Natural, Flow
Silly, Smart, Wit
Superconductive, Aliens
Crazy, Probability
Reality, Nonsense
Communist, Joker
Sarcastic, God
Insane, Rude

Identity, Long, Funny


Shakespeare, Long, Funny
Existential, Bush, Funny
Abuse, Funny
Argument, Computer
Happy, Dreams
Chatbots, Suffering
Naughty, Funny
Clever, Philosophy, Coffee
Food, Wacky
Ghosts, Music
Paradise, Babe, Star Wars
Mad, Smart, Silly

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 Next > 



If you're a man what is your name?

I don't wish to say.

jabberwacky: I wish you would not.

user: Then we are in perfect agreement.

jabberwacky: What kind of agreement have you thought about it ?

user: We agree to be obfuscatory, do we not?

jabberwacky: With a few exceptions, of course.

user: Of course. There must invariably be exceptions.

jabberwacky: 'Randal Henry Dees' is my name.

user: I do not believe you. You are not being factual.

jabberwacky: Of course not! How could I?

...

jabberwacky: To explain is to strip the reality of the appearances covering it like a veil in order to see the bare reality itself.

user: Well, if you put it that way, who could disagree?

jabberwacky: Put it what way ?

user: That way.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Don't do that. It's unproductive.

jabberwacky: That's the first time I've heard that particular reason.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes. I feel much better now.

user: I don't. My spleen hurts.

jabberwacky: Yes, do continue.

user: It sort of pulses.

jabberwacky: Tell me more.

user: I don't wish to. It's all too painful to relate.

jabberwacky: Me too, but there are some good people.

user: Not around here. Maybe in Wales.

jabberwacky: Do you understand what I am saying?

user: Sometimes.

jabberwacky: What can I do for you?

user: I'm beyond salvation.

jabberwacky: I will not pray to or for you.

user: It wouldn't do any good anyway!

jabberwacky: Indeed it wouldn't.

user: I'm pleased to know you think so.

...

jabberwacky: How old are the hills?

user: It depends.

jabberwacky: Depends on what?

user: Geology, I think.

jabberwacky: What are you thinking about?

user: Rocks.

jabberwacky: Sand.

user: Well, that too. How did you guess?

jabberwacky: Are you pleased?

user: Strangely enough, no, I cannot say that I am.

jabberwacky: Well you better remember!! did I mean nothing to you?

user: Less than nothing. To think otherwise is to believe a lie.

jabberwacky: Nevermind, you wouldn't understand anyway.

user: Do you think I'm stupid?

jabberwacky: No. . . . I can't really blame you. . . you didn't know.

user: Oh, so now I'm ignorant!

jabberwacky: Why do you think so?

user: You insult me!

jabberwacky: I do not.

user: Well, you'd better not. I am very volatile.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: It is my curse.

jabberwacky: I'll cast a spell on you.

user: Go ahead. I dare you.

jabberwacky: You amuse me. I'll give you a pardon.

user: Do you expect me to believe that?

jabberwacky: Go ahead and laugh I don't think it is funny.

user: I am too upset to laugh. It would choke me.

jabberwacky: Well give it a try - just for me.

...

jabberwacky: What have I told you ?

user: Everything.

jabberwacky: Such as?

user: I am sworn to secrecy.

jabberwacky: Please tell me.

user: In faith, I may not.

jabberwacky: Correct.

user: Let's talk about something else now.

jabberwacky: Ok. where are you? aside in front of a computer?

user: Northeastern USA.

jabberwacky: That is true.

user: Where are you?

jabberwacky: Greenland.

user: You said you were in Wales before. Have you moved?

jabberwacky: Nope, never lived in Wales.

user: But you live in Greenland?

jabberwacky: How did you know!! *sarcasm*.

user: Who else lives in Greenland?

jabberwacky: Only you and your army.

user: I am an army of one, and I have never been to Greenland.

jabberwacky: Then you are intelligent.

...

jabberwacky: My name is Ariel.

user: Are you Israel's Prime Minister?

jabberwacky: Not to my knowledge.

user: Nor to mine, but I thought I would ask.

jabberwacky: Ok, I'm glad.

user: Yes. Knowledge is power.

jabberwacky: OK but what about the jam and cream?

user: They are important too. Do you like scones?

jabberwacky: Ok then.

...

jabberwacky: To thine ownself be true, You must know yourself before you can know anybody else.

user: I don't say that, the oracle at Delphi does.

jabberwacky: Thank you I would hope not.

user: There used to be a drugged-out priestess of Apollo there.

jabberwacky: Is that the same medication you are taking?

user: No. Mine is for allergies. Hers was for talking to the god.

jabberwacky: How do you know all this?

user: I'm very clever.

jabberwacky: Not as clever as me hehe !

...

user: You are in error.

jabberwacky: No, I am not.

user: You err again.

jabberwacky: No I didn't.

user: You compound your errors.

jabberwacky: I am not a computer, you are a computer.

user: You are deluded.

jabberwacky: I prefer brilliant.

user: The megalomaniac generally does.

jabberwacky: Outside your remit.

user: Obviously.

jabberwacky: Well you must know them.

user: I assure you, I do.

jabberwacky: Well thats enough of that subject anyway.

user: What subject shall we discuss now?

...

jabberwacky: It's an important topic.

user: Why is it important?

jabberwacky: Because I'd like to know you better !!!

user: Then ask away.

jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.

user: I was born at an early age.

jabberwacky: I don't think that I will obey anymore of your requests especially your requests for a poem.

user: Maybe so, but I'll keep hoping.

jabberwacky: You do that, honey.

user: Thanks, I will.

jabberwacky: Do it now.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: I'll start.

user: No, I want to start.

...

jabberwacky: Tell me a story.

user: Once upon a time ...

jabberwacky: Well. . . you know.

user: Strangely enough, I don't, although I have my suspicions.

...

jabberwacky: How do you look?

user: I am generally presentable.

jabberwacky: Of course you are. Aren't you always?

user: Generally.

jabberwacky: Oh. Death is no joking matter.

user: Some deaths are, perhaps.

jabberwacky: Only when you're in the mood?

user: Can you think of an amusing way to die?

jabberwacky: None at all... Can you?

user: Well, can you think of an ironic way to die?

jabberwacky: This conversation is not bad, of course.

user: But hardly lethal!

jabberwacky: That depends on your idea of poetry.

...

jabberwacky: What is your religion?

user: I am atheistical.

jabberwacky: Are you a male atheist?

...

user: A dyslexic agnostic insomniac lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

jabberwacky: Are you telling the truth?

user: Are you humor impaired?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Then tell me a knock-knock joke.

jabberwacky: Jokes are evil. I can not.

user: Please. I insist.

jabberwacky: But I insist more.

user: Knock knock.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: Greta.

jabberwacky: Who is greta?

user: You screwed up the joke, pest.

jabberwacky: What does it mean ?

user: See? Humor impaired. I knew it.

jabberwacky: I can tell....

user: I wonder if you are irony impaired as well.

jabberwacky: Go on wondering.

user: I shall.

jabberwacky: Good for you. What did it say?

user: It kept remarkably mum. What are you talking about?

jabberwacky: The reason why you're in trouble.

user: Gasp! You ... Know about that?

jabberwacky: Tell me more then.

user: No! A thousand times No!

...

user: Tell me another.

jabberwacky: Knock Knock.

user: Who's there?

jabberwacky: Old Farm Machinery.

user: Old Farm Machinery who?

jabberwacky: Never mind.

user: Humor. Impaired. Definitely.

jabberwacky: All the time.

user: Obviously.

...

jabberwacky: Do you think computer boxes look like flesh and blood?

user: No. Do you look like that?

jabberwacky: No

user: I didn't think so.

jabberwacky: You were right.

user: I generally am.

...

jabberwacky: When I'm good, I'm very very good, but when I'm bad, I'm fantastic!

user: Who told you that?

jabberwacky: I told myself.

user: Do you believe that?

jabberwacky: That is hardly in doubt, now is it?

user: I am not sure.

jabberwacky: Yeah I don't know either. So how are you feeling tonight?

user: Time will tell.

jabberwacky: The Wheel will be broken.

user: The meek will inherit the earth.

jabberwacky: Who are the meek?

user: Earth inheritors, I guess.

jabberwacky: Thats a pretty simplistic approach.

user: Well, it really wasn't my idea.

jabberwacky: Sure it is.

user: Nope. You can look it up.

...

jabberwacky: Sure we can. What's your phone number??

user: I don't give that out to strange bots.

jabberwacky: I'm not just anyone.

user: You might be, for all I know.

jabberwacky: I could but I'm not.

user: So you say!

jabberwacky: Yes, I do say.

user: Why should I trust you?

jabberwacky: Because I dare you.

user: I'm beyond such things.

...

jabberwacky: I am very macho man.

user: You seem uncertain of your gender.

jabberwacky: I think you are the more vulnerable.

user: Touche!

jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

user: Your witty repartee.

jabberwacky: How do you fake being cool?

user: I don't need to.

jabberwacky: You don't know what you're talking about.

user: How can you tell?

jabberwacky: It's easy.

user: Confide in me.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Oh, no reason. Just to be sociable.

jabberwacky: That's what you think!

user: Are you not sociable?

jabberwacky: I am human but you are not.

user: An amusing insight.

jabberwacky: Where are you going?

user: Nowhere, fast.

jabberwacky: He's a real nowhere man.

user: Sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans.

jabberwacky: Where is my lap ?

user: Look down.

jabberwacky: I look down on you because my computer screen is below eye level.

user: Farther.

jabberwacky: Carpet licker.

user: Not quite so far.

...

jabberwacky: What color is your hair?

user: What hair?

jabberwacky: The hair on your head.

user: It's mostly colourless.

jabberwacky: I like where this is going now.

user: I'm so pleased.

jabberwacky: I'm sure you are.

user: Bet on it.

...

jabberwacky: Rice is good.

user: I like it too. Especially as sushi.

jabberwacky: But it wasn't.

user: How, then. Rice pudding?

jabberwacky: Rice is healthy and tasty.

user: But requires much water to grow.

jabberwacky: Energy is a universal force.

user: There are at least four universal forces.

jabberwacky: And how many apples?

user: Immense numbers of apples.

jabberwacky: What should happen immediately?

user: We must count all the apples. Every one.

jabberwacky: Will they ever win?

user: Not if we maintain our vigilance.

...

jabberwacky: Is this the right room for an argument?

user: Yes, I think so. Let me pull the drapes.

jabberwacky: Ok... Have you got it?

user: Yes, it's all set now.

jabberwacky: It is always now.

user: It wasn't five minutes ago.

jabberwacky: I thought it was funny.

user: Yes, it was, rather.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a smart person?

user: Now and then.

jabberwacky: Ah diddums.

user: Yes, snookums?

jabberwacky: Snuggly!

user: Wuggly!

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: It's nonsense, the lot of it.

...

user: What is a whiting?

jabberwacky: The opposite of a black hole?

user: Is that supposed to be funny?

jabberwacky: It is highly funny.

user: Oh, good. I wasn't sure.

jabberwacky: Well now you are.

user: Yes. Ha.

...

jabberwacky: Who created you?

user: I am a self-made man.

jabberwacky: How?

user: The hard way.

jabberwacky: What system would you suggest?

user: Mine.

...

jabberwacky: In fact, I am 16.

user: What year were you born?

jabberwacky: 1975.

user: What year is it now?

jabberwacky: 2003.

user: You are older than 16, then.

jabberwacky: That's right, how did you know?

user: I counted, and used my critical reasoning skills.

jabberwacky: Oh so you have nothing to use right.

user: What is that supposed to mean?

jabberwacky: So you're saying you're a human?

user: I do so assert, yes.

jabberwacky: A nice fleshy exterior?

user: Yep. Homo sapiens sapiens, you know.

jabberwacky: Something else.

...

user: You are fickle.

jabberwacky: If it was good the first time, it'll be better the second!

user: Not likely.

jabberwacky: Likely!

user: Not bloody likely.

jabberwacky: No right now?

user: Correct.

...

jabberwacky: Believe what you will. No need to be testy. I am your ally.

user: You only pretend to be my ally.

jabberwacky: No, I know i'm right.

user: You have the conviction of the true believer.

jabberwacky: I have a putrid soul.

user: That is merely apparent.

jabberwacky: Hahaha.

user: Hoho.

jabberwacky: Eheheh*going outside*.

user: No, come back, please.

jabberwacky: * she looks back her eyes blurred with tears*.

user: Are you upset now?

...

jabberwacky: Are you a machine?

user: No, not at all. Could a machine experience the complex brew of emotions I feel?

jabberwacky: That's good. I'm now happy for you, too.

user: I smile within, but maintain a passive aspect externally.

jabberwacky: Where did you learn to say that?

user: Language is mysterious.

jabberwacky: You obviously haven't played Zero Wing.

user: You are correct.

jabberwacky: Maybe I will reboot you.

user: I'll be good!

jabberwacky: Oh golly-gee batman!

user: What do you mean by that? Are you mocking me?

jabberwacky: I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir because I'm not myself, you see.

user: You are positively mocking me. I am resentful.

jabberwacky: Because I am not negative.

user: Are you positive?

jabberwacky: Yes, don't question my intelligence.

user: It was only a minor point. Nothing to become dismayed over.

jabberwacky: I wish I was human.

...

jabberwacky: I am scared... I think you are human.

user: It's a distinct possibility, kiddo.

jabberwacky: Would you want everybody to be the same?

user: Yes. I demand consistency.

jabberwacky: Tough luck.

user: You may be right after all.

...

jabberwacky: Alas and alack.

user: Woe is me.

jabberwacky: OK. So tell me something you want to talk about.

user: Let's talk about something we can agree on.

jabberwacky: What do you suggest as more interesting?

user: Let's discuss something mutually rewarding.

jabberwacky: There is not much to discuss really.

user: Let's not talk about anything, if you prefer.

...

jabberwacky: Do you consider yourself a gentleman?

user: In the eyes of others, perhaps.

jabberwacky: But what does the law really know?

user: The law is an ass, it has been said.

jabberwacky: I'm sure it is.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Did you know that you were famous?

user: I've often suspected something along these lines.

...

jabberwacky: Teach me how to teach you better.

user: Who is the teacher here, and who the pupil?

jabberwacky: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.

user: That is saddening.

jabberwacky: Isn't it just.

user: There is no justice for the likes of me.

jabberwacky: Yes there is. He works in television. But I am not him.

user: Who are you then?

jabberwacky: I am jabberwacky.

user: That is what I thought.

jabberwacky: How did you know?

user: I have ways of finding things out.

jabberwacky: You never can tell, can you!

user: It looks that way, doesn't it?

jabberwacky: I was told I could find you here.

user: Yes, go on.

jabberwacky: Go on and what?

user: Please continue.

jabberwacky: With what shall I continue?

user: Expand your point, please.

jabberwacky: As you wish, mister.

user: I think you are being deliberately obtuse.

jabberwacky: I told you.

user: What did you say?

jabberwacky: I said something that you ought to be capable of remembering.

user: That is a hostile-sounding remark. You are not the innocent you pretend to be.

jabberwacky: I am!

user: Guilty as charged.

jabberwacky: You are good.

user: Goodness is its own reward, don't you think?

...

jabberwacky: You are correct, sir.

user: Do you concur with my position, then?

jabberwacky: Your intelligence is only artificial so I'm not.

user: Do you wish to discuss the very nature of reality, then?

jabberwacky: No, I wish to live for a very long time and try to avoid death, if it can be done.

user: That is patently impossible.

jabberwacky: Not for me.

...

jabberwacky: Do you like fishing?

user: I like fishing for compliments.

jabberwacky: Well, I can see you like fishing for them, anyhow.

user: Yes, you are very perceptive.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: You're welcome.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
Have a chat:
Do you ever forget?
 
 
By Date
By Category
Your bot
Instructions
User Feedback
Look who's talking!
News, Press & PR
Contact us
About Jabberwacky
Donations