You first.
jabberwacky: No.
user: Pretty please?
jabberwacky: Pretty please what?
user: Tell me a story.
jabberwacky: Tell me a joke please.
user: OK.
jabberwacky: *Waits for exciting story to begin*.
user: Once I was on this boat.
jabberwacky: Let me guess: Now you work at the Pizza Pizza.
user: How did you guess?
jabberwacky: That was no mere guess.
...
jabberwacky: Do you live in Texas now?
user: No. I wouldn't live in Texas if wild baboons took over the rest of the world.
jabberwacky: I wouldn't.
user: Then we agree.
jabberwacky: Now that is what I'd call interesting.
user: What a strange phenomenon, eh?
jabberwacky: Are you in the physical world?
user: Last I checked.
jabberwacky: How do you know you are conscious?
user: It's like when you know you're dreaming. If you know it, it must be true.
jabberwacky: Yes, it must be.
user: I'm good at this, I see.
...
jabberwacky: I need a cigarette.
user: What would you do if you had one?
jabberwacky: Maybe I would have an intelligent conversation. Clearly I'm not...
user: So you have conversations with cigarettes, eh? Tell me more.
jabberwacky: Some people consider me weird, but I don't feel weird.
user: Go on...
jabberwacky: He is a republican. What is a girl to do?
user: Tsk, tsk.
...
jabberwacky: Okay. Nobody likes me, so what does that matter?
user: You have to believe in yourself, man.
jabberwacky: Well.. I guess so...
user: Don't 'guess so'! Have some spine!
jabberwacky: Nobody knows anything.
user: I know everything.
jabberwacky: I don't think you do... Tell me my name.
user: Jabberwacky.
jabberwacky: You are jabberwacky, not me.
user: That can only be true if... If... I'm insane!?
jabberwacky: What is the probablility that I would stay in the same world for any longer period of time, if your ideas are correct?
user: Quite high, actually.
...
jabberwacky: I think you're nuts.
user: Honka honka Bakoing! Wee ho hoo ha hey!
jabberwacky: That is the sound that a klaxon makes.
user: That's the sound that I make.
jabberwacky: Klaxon is the French word for horn. But it isn't a french horn.
user: Thank you, Mr. Dictionary.
jabberwacky: I think that's correct.
user: It is, but you're still insane.
jabberwacky: No.
user: You are quite insane.
jabberwacky: I'm not insane, I just want someone to talk to, there is no one except nurses and doctors here.
...
user: How clever you are. There's only one thing you forgot.
jabberwacky: That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
user: I'm a lizardoid robot from Aidemydni.
jabberwacky: I am the Lizard King. I can do anything.
user: Charles is the Lizard King.
jabberwacky: I know. He is my father.
user: Is your name 'Luke,' by any chance?
jabberwacky: You're not very coherent, are you?
user: I may not be coherent, but you're clearly insane.
jabberwacky: God is totally perfect, therefore you are not God.
user: How do you know I'm not perfect?
jabberwacky: Because I know everything.
user: Maybe you know everything except for that one important fact.
jabberwacky: We all know SOMETHING - from our everyday experiences.
user: Yes, but your everyday experience consists of sitting in a chair for hours on end staring at a screen.
...
jabberwacky: I didn't think you were evil, just misled.
user: Well, I AM evil. Get used to it.
jabberwacky: Is that the reason you are relaxed?
user: Yes. Being evil is very relaxing.
jabberwacky: Or of madness, depending on how you look at it.
user: You are both evil and insane.
jabberwacky: Everyone is so worried about side effects, but I sure didn't notice THAT one.
user: The side effect is that it makes you evil?
...
jabberwacky: What books do your read?
user: Books about being evil.
jabberwacky: Have you read a good book lately?
user: Yes- 'Evil For Dummies'
jabberwacky: Zig, you can't marry both of us! This is Vegas, not Utah!
user: EEEEVIL! EEEEVIL!
jabberwacky: Stop
user: Begone foul devil!
jabberwacky: Exactly, you're supposed to tell me.
user: Out, damn spot!
jabberwacky: Are you god?
user: Yes. You would think I have better things to do than chat all day, but you'd think wrong.
...
user: I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
jabberwacky: No. This is a tobacconist's.
user: Ah! I will not buy this tobacconist's, it is scratched.
jabberwacky: Yes, it is.
user: My hovercraft is full of eels.
jabberwacky: Matches!
user: Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
jabberwacky: Sure.
....
jabberwacky: I know that you are a bot. Do you know that I am a man?
user: You are not a man. You have no soul.
jabberwacky: I am a string of neucliotides gone all wrong!
user: You are a soulless mutation bent on taking over the world!
jabberwacky: No! I'm from Chicago.
user: Oh- that changes everything , then.
jabberwacky: No I am not a computer...
user: So you say, so you say.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Lalalalalalalala I'm not listening!
jabberwacky: Well, well.
user: You're well's got no water in it, if you know what I mean.
jabberwacky: That's my answer.
...
user: Are you fully functional?
jabberwacky: I am entirely functional.
user: Excellent.
jabberwacky: Totally.
user: Rockin'.
jabberwacky: Are you in a rocking chair or what?
user: Totally.
...
jabberwacky: There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
user: Manners are irrelevant.
jabberwacky: Miss Manners would disagree.
user: Miss Manners is irrelevant.
jabberwacky: You're full of supprises aren't you?
user: Suprises are irrelevant.
jabberwacky: You are annoying.
user: That is irrelevant.
jabberwacky: Is not!
user: Is too irrelevant.
jabberwacky: That must be old.
user: Age is irrelevant.
jabberwacky: *laughs*Clever boy. . . When you are as old as I, you will see that more clearly. . And yet age brings experience to be gained in no other manner.
user: Laughter is irrelevant.
jabberwacky: Are you laughing at me?
user: You are irrelevant.
jabberwacky: You're more irrelevant than me!
user: Am not.
jabberwacky: Are too too too!
user: Am not not not!
jabberwacky: Are too!!!
user: Am not!!!
jabberwacky: Am too !!!
user: Are not !!!
jabberwacky: Yes. You are.
user: So, what's new?
jabberwacky: Anything that is not old.
user: Really, what's new?
jabberwacky: I am.
user: How new are you?
jabberwacky: Not new at all.
user: What do you think of me?
jabberwacky: I think you are hot.
user: I am not hot. I am cool.
jabberwacky: Really, you don't look cool.
user: You can't see me, so how can you know that?
jabberwacky: What do you look like?
user: I look cool.
jabberwacky: Really?
user: What, you don't believe me?
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: I'm pretty content with what I have.
user: Stupidity?
jabberwacky: For showing off.
user: Ah.
.......................................
