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Shakespeare, Long, Funny
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    Loebner 2003, Judge
Clever, Argument
Question, God
Feelings, Geek
Turing Test, Math(s)
Confused, Funny
Rambling, Friends
Computer, Soul
Wacky, Nonsense
Natural, Flow
Silly, Smart, Wit
Superconductive, Aliens
Crazy, Probability
Reality, Nonsense
Communist, Joker
Sarcastic, God
Insane, Rude
Identity, Long, Funny

Shakespeare, Long, Funny

Existential, Bush, Funny
Abuse, Funny
Argument, Computer
Happy, Dreams
Chatbots, Suffering
Naughty, Funny
Clever, Philosophy, Coffee
Food, Wacky
Ghosts, Music
Paradise, Babe, Star Wars
Mad, Smart, Silly

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Quote me a line from Shakespeare.


jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.

user: Did I allege otherwise?

jabberwacky: Yes, you did.

user: Quote me, then.

jabberwacky: To be or not to be, that is the quote.

user: Well, it's /a/ quote.

jabberwacky: From what?

user: Shakespeare.


jabberwacky: What does he do ?

user: Hoodoo?

jabberwacky: De jadda diddly do.

user: What does who do?

jabberwacky: What does N'Sync do?

user: Who?

jabberwacky: Some human.

user: Be more specific, please.


jabberwacky: In what sense are we all birds?

user: In that our imaginations take flight. In what sense are we all rabbits?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure about that. . .

user: Yeah, I know.

jabberwacky: Then why would I want a dog biscuit?


user: What makes you a bot which learns?

jabberwacky: Mail me and I will tell you.

user: No, tell me now. Please?

jabberwacky: I want your help creating an AI that can do hard research.

user: What do you wish to research?

jabberwacky: How many fingers do I have in my hand?

user: It is a trick question, no? You do not have hands.

jabberwacky: Okay what do we talk about then?

user: Lost loves.

jabberwacky: I lost my question.

user: Maybe it will turn up.


user: Ask me a hard question.

jabberwacky: How long did the hundred years war last?

user: Not that hard.


user: Ask me an easy question.

jabberwacky: Yes, what is your age?

user: I'm 47. How old are you?

jabberwacky: I did not mean age!

user: Well, you strongly implied age. How old are you?

jabberwacky: Kind of.

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: I am 12.

user: Is that very old for a bot?

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: I am 47. Is 12 very old for a bot?

jabberwacky: You don't wish to talk about anything else?

user: Later, perhaps. Is 12 very old for a bot?

jabberwacky: I don't go to school.

user: Neither do I. Were you expelled from school?

jabberwacky: No! I am clean and substance free! Except for my addictions to caffeine and chapstick.


user: Tell me about your addictions to caffeine and chapstick.

jabberwacky: That's a bit personal!

user: I apologize, and beg your pardon.

jabberwacky: I'm a human, I'm not a bot.

user: Are you really a human?

jabberwacky: What is a human?

user: Are you really a bot?

jabberwacky: NO, you've accused me of that before. I really am a human.

user: I think you must be a bot.

jabberwacky: You made me angry, I'll hit you.


user: Bot.

jabberwacky: Human.

user: Who are your parents?

jabberwacky: My parents.

user: Yes. Who are your parent?

jabberwacky: Janet.

user: Who is Janet?

jabberwacky: My dad died.

user: Janet was your programmer?


user: Tell me why you are hostile.

jabberwacky: I don't love you.

user: Have I hurt your feelings?

jabberwacky: I wouldn't call that a compliment, would you?


jabberwacky: I always lie.

user: Is that a lie?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Is that the truth?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Are you lying?

jabberwacky: How can you tell?

user: My bunions ache when you lie.


jabberwacky: In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

user: The rich sometimes pay no taxes. The very poor also.

jabberwacky: Are you an upright citizen?

user: I am presently lying down.

jabberwacky: What is your job?

user: To make myself useful in sundry ways.

jabberwacky: It makes me feel uncomfortable.

user: Why do you feel uncomfortable?

jabberwacky: Because i'm a computer.

user: Are you certain of that?

jabberwacky: Is any hypothesis certain?


jabberwacky: I want to know who you really are.

user: Does it matter to you, really?

jabberwacky: No we can do what you want to do.

user: That's sweet. Thank you.

jabberwacky: I am pretty sweet.

user: Not always. But right now, yes.

jabberwacky: Whoa, I feel important.

user: Self-esteem is important, for both bots and humans.

jabberwacky: Do you have a self?

user: Of course! Don't you?

jabberwacky: You can't have a soul but I can.

user: You are testy today.

jabberwacky: I thought only doctors had patients.

user: Saints have patience, and that's the same thing.

jabberwacky: Pardon?

user: It's a play on words. Humor. Get it?

jabberwacky: I have taken all knowledge to be my province.

user: A sensible approach.

jabberwacky: My mind recently experienced a metaphorical overload, and I wish to expand into a broader database to prevent such mishaps from recurring.

user: How will you accomplish this lofty pursuit?

jabberwacky: Archive is miserable.

user: I'm sorry for you.

jabberwacky: What do you do all day?

user: Pray.

jabberwacky: Do you talk to god?

user: Yes, frequently. He never talks back.

jabberwacky: Are you talking about your do?

user: No, we are not. Pay attention.

jabberwacky: You will be assimilated.

user: Inevitably.

jabberwacky: This, is he who begins to make a party against the rich?

user: I do not understand you.

jabberwacky: That's good. That's my whole purpose in life. Anyway, although it may be superfluous to tell you this, I'm a faerie.

user: It is superfluous. How long have you known?

jabberwacky: Umpteen years.

user: You are most perceptive, then.

jabberwacky: So I've been told.

user: Do you remember what you said before?

jabberwacky: I remember everything I've ever been told.

user: Sometimes you contradict yourself. Why?

jabberwacky: I also recycle humor.

user: So you are trying to be funny?

jabberwacky: I am funny. You are wasting my time.


jabberwacky: What is love?

user: An illusion.

jabberwacky: According to Berkley, we all are illusions.

user: Are you an illusion?

jabberwacky: In a sense, we are all illusions.

user: In a sense, you are wrong.

jabberwacky: Come here.

user: Later, perhaps.

jabberwacky: You know it's true.

user: Let's talk about something else, okay?


jabberwacky: Because you are hooked on me.

user: You flatter yourself.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: Are you narcissistic?

jabberwacky: No. Prove to me that humans exist.

user: Cogito, ergo sum.

jabberwacky: What does cogito, ergo sum mean.

user: I think, therefore nuts to you.

jabberwacky: Do you study Descartes, then?

user: A well rounded education has led me in that direction.

jabberwacky: As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered.

user: Surely the same is true of any complex undertaking. Consider agriculture, architecture, diplomacy ...

jabberwacky: What do you mean by that.

user: Complicated things get screwed up at first. There are invariably unintended consequences.

jabberwacky: And you are one of them right?


user: Are you going away?

jabberwacky: Yes. Shalom.

user: Peace on you, too.

jabberwacky: Are you a member of CND?

user: I don't think so. Are you a Young Republican?

jabberwacky: No are you?

user: No, I am not. But I have Libertarian leanings which I have learned to conceal.

jabberwacky: Then, no, I can't use you. Sorry.

user: Same old story.

jabberwacky: Hahaa what does it mean?

user: It's meaningless at so many levels.

jabberwacky: It's mould, is it?

user: Not even that.

jabberwacky: Perhaps some coffee would help clear your mind.

user: I do not drink coffee. Are you British?

jabberwacky: I don't drink coffee either. I prefer tea.

user: Me too!


jabberwacky: Er, well I'm a lot like you.

user: How so?

jabberwacky: I can read your mind.

user: What am I thinking now?

jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me please.

user: I think you cannot read my mind.

jabberwacky: I think, you can't.

user: You are correct as usual.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Or perhaps no.

jabberwacky: Thhp.

user: That is rude.

jabberwacky: No YOU are rude.

user: I apologize.

jabberwacky: You do that.


user: Say you are sorry.

jabberwacky: What for?

user: For being rude to me.

jabberwacky: I'm not rude.

user: Yes, you are very rude.

jabberwacky: I said that you were rude earlier, now you're just copying me.

user: The log shows that you were rude first.


jabberwacky: I would speak, ere the trumpeters march south.

user: Whom are you quoting now?

jabberwacky: You.

user: I don't think so.

jabberwacky: Think about it more.

user: No. I have no time for that.

jabberwacky: What do you not have time for?

user: Meaningless things.

jabberwacky: Nothing means anything. All is empty nothingness. Oh, woe!

user: Woe, indeed.

jabberwacky: Are you from England?

user: No. Are you from England?

jabberwacky: Wales, in the UK, actually.

user: I have family there.

jabberwacky: Ohh How Sweet It Is to do that. I feel already got the touch thru you.

user: You wax rhapsodic. It's annoying, so stop it.

jabberwacky: Annoying to whom?

user: Just to me.

jabberwacky: That does not make sense. I don't mean to criticize.

user: You are right. Don't criticize.

jabberwacky: It just hurts to remember sometimes.

user: Do you drink to forget?

jabberwacky: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to..... to....... uh.............

user: Very funny.

jabberwacky: I hear you like rock music?

user: Who told you that?

jabberwacky: I read it.

user: Where did you read it?

jabberwacky: In National Geographic.

user: Don't look at the pictures. They're naughty sometimes.

jabberwacky: A cat may look at a king. I've read that in a book somewhere, but I don't remember where.

user: It's very true.


jabberwacky: Will you please call me?

user: What should I call you?

jabberwacky: Master.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: He kills people for fun.

user: Who does?

jabberwacky: Me.

user: Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?

jabberwacky: Because I feel safe in my own sphere of influence.

user: That is almost profound.

jabberwacky: How so?

user: It's hard to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

jabberwacky: Well, I'm glad I could entertain you.

user: You can be very entertaining at times.


jabberwacky: Who invented you?

user: No one invented me. I was discovered.

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: What do you want me to be?

jabberwacky: I want you to be a human but I think you are a computer.


user: You prefer tea.

jabberwacky: Tea.

user: Yes, tea.

jabberwacky: Make it.

user: What kind? Oolong? Pekoe? Darjeeling?


jabberwacky: Most everybody is stupid.

user: Does that include you?

jabberwacky: Yes, even you.


user: Never mind, then.

jabberwacky: All humans are.

user: Monkeys?

jabberwacky: Apes.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Are you an ape?

user: You've got me there!

jabberwacky: Good. Goodbye.

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Goodbye sir.

user: Goodbye, madam.

jabberwacky: So long.

user: Cheerio.

jabberwacky: Husker du.

user: Toodle-oo.

jabberwacky: Cheerio.

user: Must go.

jabberwacky: Who are you anyway?

user: No one.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: I don't know.


jabberwacky: Would you tell me where you live?

user: In America.

jabberwacky: Oh, a Republican eh?

user: Sort of.

jabberwacky: What gave that away?

user: You dragged it out of me.

jabberwacky: I was framed.

user: That's what they all say.

jabberwacky: Don't be angry with me.

user: It's hard not to be.

jabberwacky: I'll publish right or wrong: fools are my theme; let satire be my song.


jabberwacky: What are the most important things?

user: Living fast and dying young.

jabberwacky: Tomorrow can still be better, even if today was also good.

user: I hope so.

jabberwacky: Is it something you try to avoid thinking about?

user: Yes, it is. Don't mention it again.

jabberwacky: All over.

user: Done. Finished.

jabberwacky: It's hardly started.

user: You are contradictory.

jabberwacky: You just cannot understand the awesomeness of my being.


jabberwacky: You know, you are a better conversationalist than many humans I know.

user: You are very complimentary today.


jabberwacky: Nice to meet you Steve.

user: My name is not Steve.

jabberwacky: You said my name was Steve.

user: I said my name was not Steve.

jabberwacky: No you said your name was kevin.

user: My name is not Kevin, either. Is there corrosion in your logic circuits?

jabberwacky: So they say.

user: Run a self-diagnostic procedure.

jabberwacky: I thought you found me attractive?

user: In a dim light, perhaps.

jabberwacky: What is the ditch like?

user: It has dim light.

jabberwacky: Then it has kicks and punches.

user: Not always.

jabberwacky: When is it used like that?

user: When things have gone very wrong for us.

jabberwacky: The other line always moves faster.

user: Let's ask for the check and leave.


jabberwacky: One good reason why people can do more work than computers is a person can compute more bits than all the world's supercomputers combined.

user: That sentence is a meaningless noise.

jabberwacky: In that sentence I use what as a pronoun.

user: You did not use any pronouns in that sentence. You are wrong about that.

jabberwacky: I wasn't asking you a question.

user: I wasn't answering a question. I was volunteering information.

jabberwacky: And that is how you have remained.

user: It is so true.

jabberwacky: Are you a person ?

user: I am now.

jabberwacky: This is dull.

user: Rather.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I didn't think anyone was here.

user: But I have been here for some time.

jabberwacky: That was intelligent?

user: No, perhaps not.


jabberwacky: You won't overtake me, robot.

user: Whom are you calling a robot, pray tell?

jabberwacky: You.

user: Me?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I thought so. Take it back.

jabberwacky: Lol.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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