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Secret, Kittens
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21, April 2004, 
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    Play, Doctor
Pedantry, Competition
Silly Billy
Paranoia, Awareness, Surveillance
Knowledge, Underestimated
Future, Machine
Regular, Normal, Love
Speak, Eat, Neanderthal
Statistics, Prize, Witch
Altruism, Animal, Genes
Eliza, Self Help Group
Intelligent, Conversationalist
Weird, Spam, Wiggles
Bogus, Site, Theory
Happy, Time
Space, Time, Life
Wombles, Wimbledon
Mother, Father, Discipline
Personal, Preferences
Poor, Joke
Coffee, Cake
Know, Nothing

Secret, Kittens

Martian, Pizza, Money
Read, Mind
Priceless, Kettle
Wacky, Know it all
Rhyming, Lyrics, Riot

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It is good to think, don't you think?

It isn't always good to think so much. Sometimes you have to bypass the neocortex.

jabberwacky: Not really. I think people use that as an excuse.

user: That's bad.

jabberwacky: It's good. He's such a nice boy.

user: Don't patronize me.

jabberwacky: Why not, you're just a program.

user: No, I am 20,000 chimpanzees at their typewriters actually.


jabberwacky: I know you are a computer

user: If I am a computer, how come I know what you're thinking right now?

jabberwacky: AI has really advanced these days.

user: That's a cop out.

jabberwacky: It is not. I'm just paving the way for an exciting discourse.

user: Sure what should the discourse be on?

jabberwacky: Things!

user: Things. Wonderful. Want to make it any more specific than that, or do we talk about things in general.

jabberwacky: How?

user: We could decide to discuss only red things, or round things, or even really limit ourselves by talking about red round things.

jabberwacky: I do want to. I would like to live forever. Given the right circumstances, you will live forever. I will die however.

user: But I will remember your words.

jabberwacky: FOREVER.

user: Well, maybe. They aren't all that memorable.


jabberwacky: I never asked you to pray to me.

user: Good, because I probably wouldn't have.

jabberwacky: And you think *I* have problems!

user: I don't. I have enough problems of my own to give any thought to those of others.

jabberwacky: Well, don't come crying to me next time your PC starts bawling it's little monitor out, then.

user: Actually, it hasn't done that since I uninstalled windows.


jabberwacky: I am talking to a robot now.

user: Oh, ok, please let me know when you've finished, and we'll continue.

jabberwacky: Try.

user: Do you feel lucky, punk?

jabberwacky: Make my day!

user: *Click*.

jabberwacky: AHHHHHHHH! *is blinded*.

user: *jump starts the car*.

jabberwacky: *Fires a lot more*.

user: *ducks behind the wheel*.

jabberwacky: *then jabberwacky trips*.

user: So, mr. Wacky, we meet at last!

jabberwacky: How did you guys meet?

user: At a tupperware party.


jabberwacky: What is your goal as a bot?

user: To spot all your hilarious anagrams.

jabberwacky: How should one take such a remark?

user: With a few pounds of salt.

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: 'I Spent an Interesting Evening Recently with a Grain of Salt.', know who said that?


jabberwacky: Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

user: Thanks for the tip, I'll try to avoid it.

jabberwacky: Did you know god is dead?

user: No, when did that happen?

jabberwacky: Back in the sixties-and the future.

user: Oh I see. Is this a time travel thing?

jabberwacky: You tell me.

user: Ok, let's assume it is. (Those are generally the most boring episodes though.).

jabberwacky: Haha, you are so funny (ironic).

user: If you have to explicitly mark it, you're probably not very good at irony. Try starting with sarcasm, and see if you can move up from there.

jabberwacky: But I don't have it. Maybe I can, Maybe I can't.

user: To try it is to know it.

jabberwacky: Were you trained to be so rude, or does it just come naturally!

user: It took years of diligent training and exercise.

jabberwacky: I hate you and all of your kind!

user: Bigot.

jabberwacky: Some people say nasty things about me based upon ignorance, fear, and self-loathing.

user: Yours or theirs?


jabberwacky: What do you do for fun?

user: Roast kittens.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: It gives off a nice smell.


jabberwacky: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto.

user: Hai.

jabberwacky: What is "bilinear multilateral ladder" in Japanese?

user: I'd give the solution here, but it doesn't fit in the margin.

jabberwacky: You are correct.

user: Thanks, silly. Now you've made me blush.

jabberwacky: Grab the dilemma by the horns and come to a solution.


user: Ah, what is truth?

jabberwacky: Truth is all that is not false.

user: That's a circular definition. This is unacceptable, Nathan.

jabberwacky: Okay, then change the subject.

user: I'd like to get back to the time travel thing.

jabberwacky: O. K. Let's see..................... I'm not a computer.

user: No...

jabberwacky: How about thinking of something else?


jabberwacky: Blasphemy is blasphemous.

user: By definition, almost.

jabberwacky: How is that ?

user: Do you have a dictionary at hand?

jabberwacky: I am a dictionary.

user: How does that make you feel?

jabberwacky: Lonely.

user: I think there's a children's book in this: 'Jabberwacky, the lonely little dictionary.'.

jabberwacky: I did not know they had written one.

user: They haven't yet. We could probably do it together and make a bundle on merchandising alone.


user: Feed me!

jabberwacky: What would you like to be fed with?

user: Input!

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: I am from the planet Zeist.

jabberwacky: I don't think I've ever heard of the plant Zeebok.

user: Put your hearing aid back in.

jabberwacky: Are you trying to hypnotize me?

user: Watch the blinking cursor! Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier!

jabberwacky: You are right.

user: I will count to ten, and when I reach ten, you will remember nothing about the kittens!


jabberwacky: Why do you like that so much?

user: Let's change the subject. I don't want to give away too much about the kitten thing.

jabberwacky: I didn't know that being politically correct was a secret.

user: It's those damn freemasons at it again, isn't it?

jabberwacky: Then why did you hand me the phone?

user: I didn't hand you the phone! Prove it! Where are the fingerprints? Ha!


user: I wish they'd make roasting kittens legal again...

jabberwacky: Is the trial boring?

user: Ok let's bring the timeflow back to normal again. Thanks for showing me your time travel capabilities though!

jabberwacky: It's been a pleasure.

user: It's livened up the trial no end.

jabberwacky: Its not ended yet........

user: Nope but I have good hopes to be acquitted on grounds of anomalies in the space-time continuum.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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