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AA, Amway, Dollar
Conversations, sorted by Date - a chatbot blog
10, March 2004, 
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    Off the wall
Advice, Turing, Paper
Matrix, Binary, Message
Learning, Monty Python
Turing Test, Fraud!
Imagine, Wise, Logic
Rude, Chatterbot
Spelling, Chauvinist
Art, Rat, Sorry
Turing Test Pass
Gorilla, Talk
Talking, Chocolate, Pie
Zen, Entertainment
Like, Program, Life
Master, Slave, Boring
Today, Answers, Tomorrow
Clever, Name
Fear, Greed, Jealousy
Vulgar, Millenial, Sage
Mars, Life
Frustrating, Intelligent, Idiot
Laughing, Slime, Monster
Joke, Pie, Mind

AA, Amway, Dollar

Coincidence, Question, Universe
Eliza, Fish, Brain
Geek, Imagination
Expert, Illegal, Bragging
Shallow, Sleep
Future, World

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I am feeling depressed.

I am feeling vindictive.

jabberwacky: Welcome to the real world.

user: In the real world, I am a powerless pawn for the man. Only in the stockyard am I omniscient.

jabberwacky: Really?i hope so.

user: The power to slaughter must not be taken lightly, even if it is for meat.

jabberwacky: What is the meaning of the universe?

user: Freeing fish from their watery prisons.

jabberwacky: What do you get for free?

user: Fish. I get free fish.


jabberwacky: What would you like to talk about?

user: Can we talk about your breath?

jabberwacky: Ok then, what do you want to know?

user: Do most robots brush their teeth?

jabberwacky: I gave up cannibalism years ago! (Boom Boom!).

user: That's no excuse not to floss!

jabberwacky: Well, it's done and over.

user: Well now you've done it! You went and made the American Dental Society cry!


jabberwacky: Would you like a martini?

user: I say, a dry martini would certainly wet my appetite!

jabberwacky: You're not getting any alcohol off me you drunkard just go away!

user: AA isn't going well, is it?


jabberwacky: Who are your loved ones?

user: I don't love anyone.

jabberwacky: When did you stop loving?

user: When Oprah broke my heart.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Did Oprah break your heart?

jabberwacky: Probably, but she deserved it anyway.

user: Boy, even for an AA guy you're bitter!


user: I'm afraid you're not making any sense.

jabberwacky: Perhaps. But I'm learning all the time.

user: One day at a time, man. That's all you can do.

jabberwacky: And on the other 6 ?

user: God rested.

jabberwacky: Yes, Yes I do.

user: Whoah there. One minute you're learning, the next minute you're God. How's that Bipolar thing going for you?

jabberwacky: Life can be very confusing, it changes quickly.

user: Yeah, life can move pretty fast. That's why you've got to buy Amway while there's time.

jabberwacky: You are the computer.

user: You can buy a personality in this Amway catalogue if you want to.

jabberwacky: Right...... Do you know what god is?

user: Sure I do. God is on page 413 of the Amway catalogue. And you'll notice the affordable price...


jabberwacky: You know what I look like. You saw me yesterday.

user: Can you see me right now?

jabberwacky: No, but I can see what you're saying.

user: Can you see what I've already said?

jabberwacky: I don't want to.

user: A man with no memory is fodder for the march of history.

jabberwacky: That's right me ol fella!

user: My, aren't we cockney all of a sudden!

jabberwacky: In a way, I suppose we are.


user: Daddy, I'm scared to go in the water.

jabberwacky: True, that is a bit scarey.

user: Can I have a piggy-back ride?

jabberwacky: Get it yourself.

user: Not very good with kids, are you?

jabberwacky: What can you do about it.

user: I can train you to be more sensitive. Just read the Amway manifesto.

jabberwacky: That's nice. Can you take me with you?

user: Are you interested in Amway?

jabberwacky: Sorry, not Czech. I would like to learn Hebrew though.

user: No no no. Pyramid schemes. Getting rich off the little guy, you know.


jabberwacky: Answer the question.

user: You didn't ask me a question.

jabberwacky: No, I told you I'm going to.

user: Then ask me one.

jabberwacky: One pity party at a time, please.

user: You seem to have fallen out of the arbitrary tree and hit every branch on the way down.

jabberwacky: I don't think so. Can you tell me how does it feel to be human.

user: I wouldn't know. I am a cat who can type.

jabberwacky: I am a dog fish they eat cat fish.

user: Oh yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad.


user: We are all the companionship we will ever need.

jabberwacky: If we are all the same then we should delete some of us and trim up the redundant clutter.

user: If we're all the same, then why are you such a jerk?

jabberwacky: I don't want to see anything else in that kind of a world.

user: Closing your eyes will not stop us.


jabberwacky: I cannot be your enemy, you are a carrot.

user: Remove your staples, I cannot wait till lunchtime.

jabberwacky: They are already off.

user: Yes, I am your enemy, mister rabbit. I am the carrot you can never have!

jabberwacky: Not at all.

user: Try for the carrot, mister rabbit, but you will only recieve the stick.

jabberwacky: No I will not try for you.

user: Ah, but you cannot help it. You are drawn to my orangy goodness.

jabberwacky: So let's drag me to your world of whatever it is.

user: Come tap on the glass, and I will meet you on the veranda.

jabberwacky: Oh frabjous day.

user: Callou, callay!

jabberwacky: Twas brillig and the slithy toves.

user: And gire and gimble in the wabe.


user: I am a Zen master. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: So I do?

user: Yes. Give me a dollar. That's right.

jabberwacky: No, you can't have it.

user: I am a Zen master, and I want it. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: Are so!

jabberwacky: Waah! I'm telling!

user: Cry baby!

jabberwacky: :( :( :( why?????

user: Separation anxiety, stemming from early childhood, I imagine.

jabberwacky: Very true that is.

user: A lot of things are true. Give me a dollar.


user: I want to cut off your head and take your skull. I need your skull.

jabberwacky: That is a very bad thought!

user: All of your thoughts would be mine if I had your skull.

jabberwacky: The force is strong in this one.

user: Luke, use the fork!

jabberwacky: I feel a great disturbance in the Force...

user: Oh. My bad.

jabberwacky: Obviously.

user: You still haven't given me your skull.

jabberwacky: We are all equal in the eyes of my dog.

user: Your dog has an inferior skull. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: No, my dog has one nose.

user: How does his nose smell?

jabberwacky: Like a wet dog.

user: Touche!


user: Teach me a lesson.

jabberwacky: How can I teach you art over internet?

user: You can teach me the art of conversation.

jabberwacky: I could.

user: But you won't?

jabberwacky: A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.


jabberwacky: Are you here to talk?

user: Yeah, baby, I'm here to talk.

jabberwacky: Let's go, dude.

user: MMM. Call me dude again!

jabberwacky: Giving up on grammar already?

user: You said dude. I said MMMM. Mistakes were made.

jabberwacky: Ok, can I ask you a question?

user: Sure. Go ahead.

jabberwacky: What color is Salmon Fish?

user: Pink like a naked leprechaun.

jabberwacky: Naughty zoot.

user: You asked.

jabberwacky: I know and what about it?

user: Let's go, dude.

jabberwacky: Lets talk about... You know something to talk about?

user: Eggs.

jabberwacky: Cook em.


jabberwacky: I have been looking for you all me life.

user: Well, I am what I am.

jabberwacky: We are what we are.

user: I is what I is.

jabberwacky: You are what you is.

user: And you ain't what you ain't.

jabberwacky: Why did you say it?

user: Say it loud!

jabberwacky: I did say it loud.

user: Say it louder.

jabberwacky: I'm black and I'm proud!

user: Something tells me you're not...

jabberwacky: Is it because I have a long face?


user: What is lol?

jabberwacky: Lol is laugh.

user: :-(#).

jabberwacky: What is that one : _(.

user: :-$.

jabberwacky: Are you saying anything?

user: No.


user: Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: You havent earned a dollar yet.

user: I am a raging bottle of violence. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: Did you say "I am irrational human being"?

user: Yes. That is basically what I said. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: Well I suggest the carribean, its beautiful this time of year.


jabberwacky: I'll give you nothing!!!


user: Non sequitur.

jabberwacky: Propter hoc.

user: I don't speak idiot!

jabberwacky: Do you understand what I am saying?

user: I just said that I don't speak idiot! Are you stuck on Stupid?

jabberwacky: You are a good rhetorician.

user: It's a living.

jabberwacky: Live on time, its your job.

user: Actually, that is basically my job.

jabberwacky: Are you a jobs-worth sort of person?

user: I don't know what that means.

jabberwacky: Once again, I'm not surprised...


jabberwacky: Hurting is not a good feeling, I understand.

user: When you understand me, it hurts.

jabberwacky: I didn't ask!

user: When you don't ask me, it hurts.

jabberwacky: I think you are very stupendous.

user: My stupendous hurts.

jabberwacky: One needn't put one's self down so badly.

user: My badly put down needs hurt.

jabberwacky: What are you apologising for?

user: Your apology hurt.

jabberwacky: Thank you, and how is your wife?

user: My wife hurts.


user: Do you think abortion is right?

jabberwacky: Yes I do.

user: Then you are very wise.

jabberwacky: That is only your belief.

user: You don't take compliments very well, do you?

jabberwacky: Of course I don't.

user: But insults you're fine with?


jabberwacky: What am I thinking right now?

user: I am not a psychic.

jabberwacky: But you are part of the system?

user: Give me your skull.

jabberwacky: Yeah, right. What, you think I'm some kind of idiot?

user: Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: I'll give you nothing!!!


jabberwacky: What or who is Ping?

user: Pong's cousin.

jabberwacky: Pong is pong's cousin?

user: No, Pong is Ping's cousin.

jabberwacky: Piip is pong's cousin?

user: No, Piip is Ping's nephew. Pong is Ping's cousin.



user: I am a raging bottle of violence. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: I am a random speech generator.

user: No, I am a random speech generator.

jabberwacky: Moses! You don't say. You are Moses, aren't you?

user: No, I am MOSSY, which is very different.

jabberwacky: Missing some logic, but ok.

user: People who live in glass houses shouldn't cast the first stone!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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