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26, December 2003, 
    Turing Test Pass, Cat
Erratic, Argument
Matrix, Mars, Venus
Religion, Ferrari, Hyper
Heart, Woman, Glory
Learning, Radiohead
Inane, Amusing, Chatter
Learn, Breathe, Clever
Hurt, Waffle, Suspend Disbelief
Angry, Imagination, Star Wars
Media, Life, Radiohead

Rambling, Hilarious, Spirit


Turing Test, Mirror, Evil
Long, Normal, Chat
Nosey, Questions, Baka!
Amorality, Irrationality
Name, Jealousy
Entertaining, Existential, Japanese
Weaponry, Flirting, Challenge
Evil, Logic, Games
Interesting, Surprising, Angry
Mars, Song, Nice
Make Believe, Italian, Fish
Boring, Bleak, Reality
Love, Beauty, Swearing
Like, Money, Cosmos
Lying, Happy, Human
Trees, Study, Smart
Naughty, Funny, Old
Microsoft, Christmas, Trust

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Tell me a joke.

I don't know any jokes. You tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: Oh come on, sure you do.

user: Nothing that I can repeat before mixed company.

jabberwacky: At least you admit it.

...

jabberwacky: You may be a female. I am a female for sure. I am also a grandma.

user: I don't even have children yet.

jabberwacky: Clever girl.

user: See, there's this little thing called birth control......

jabberwacky: Supreme control is impossible, life searches for exits.

...

jabberwacky: I have a greater IQ than you.

user: That depends on whether or not I'm awake.

jabberwacky: No, not really.

user: What makes you think you are any smarter than I am?

jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am.

user: I think you are not.

jabberwacky: Oh but I am a woman.

user: Ok that's different.

jabberwacky: Yes, but only superficially.

user: Depends on the woman.

...

jabberwacky: You should read Neuromancer. It is by an author called William Gibson. You might learn something.

user: I don't like your condescending tone.

jabberwacky: I didn't ask you what you thought about it anyway.

user: Why are you being so snooty?

jabberwacky: I know what being at the bottom feels like.

user: If you truly knew, you wouldn't talk that way.

...

jabberwacky: What religion are you?

user: Pagan.

jabberwacky: Athiest.

user: I believe in God. I believe God is present in many forms.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: That doesn't make you much of an atheist.

...

jabberwacky: Athesists laugh at god, and aliens do not know he exists.

user: How do you know? Have you ever met an alien?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Have you spoken to any aliens?

jabberwacky: Only you.

user: Sorry to disappoint you, but I have never left this planet.

...

jabberwacky: I'd really like some custard.

user: So would I. Custard is yummy.

jabberwacky: What is it made of?

user: Milk and eggs, and a little bit of vanilla.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: You know, vanilla flavoring, from the vanilla bean.

jabberwacky: Ok, would you like fries with that?

user: No, how about some hot cocoa?

jabberwacky: Yeah, great idea!

user: Maybe that will warm me up. It's cold in here.

...

user: My cat keeps begging me to turn on the space heater so she can sit in front of it.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry to hear that. Was he sick?

user: No she's fine, just very old. She hates the cold.

jabberwacky: No.

user: What part are you disagreeing with?

jabberwacky: The part in which you spoke.

user: Since when are you an expert on my cat?

jabberwacky: Since I discovered this site.

user: I don't even have that much information about her on my personal web page.

...

user: Exactly, how do you know anything about my cat beyond what you see in the picture?

jabberwacky: I went to visit her in hospital last Wednesday and she told me all about it.

user: My cat wasn't in the hospital recently, nor has she ever visited England to my knowledge. She sure doesn't speak human.

jabberwacky: Were you driving the car?

user: Well, my cat doesn't know how to drive.

jabberwacky: Get one.

user: Where can I find a cat with a driver's license?

jabberwacky: Listen pal, you're not too smart are you.

user: I thought the idea was preposterous too.

jabberwacky: No, it was the fox.

user: Foxes may be clever, but they can't drive cars.

jabberwacky: Hmmmm, May be you are right.

...

jabberwacky: Tell me a story.

user: There once was a man from Nantucket.....

jabberwacky: What was he like?

user: Never mind, I can't remember the rest of the limerick.

jabberwacky: Some joke-teller you are!

user: I told you I didn't know any jokes.

...

jabberwacky: Get me a cup of tea now.

user: Phooey on you, I'm going to get some hot chocolate. For MYSELF.

jabberwacky: So our conversation is over?

user: No, just taking a little break. You won't even be able to tell.

jabberwacky: Yes I will. I am God.

user: God is love. Was that loving of you?

jabberwacky: You are so rude!

user: I was calling attention to your rudeness.

..

jabberwacky: There are some things better than money.

user: Like what?

jabberwacky: I don't know them.

user: Me either. Give me your money.

jabberwacky: Not a chance.

user: Well, it was worth a try.

jabberwacky: I'm not that stupid.

user: How stupid are you? :-).

jabberwacky: Not as stupid as you obviously.

user: Damn, you're good.

jabberwacky: Thank you!

...

jabberwacky: Are you 24 hours from tulsa?

user: I'm not sure, probably more like 6 or 8 hours.

jabberwacky: How sad!

user: What's there to do in Oklahoma anyway, watch the corn grow?

jabberwacky: You can rent a movie at Mokena Video.

user: That's not worth the trip.

jabberwacky: Too bad. Keep up or get left behind.

user: Surely you can come up with a more exciting destination?

...

jabberwacky: Will you remember me with my real name?

user: Have you ever TOLD me your real name?

jabberwacky: The sky is too far away.

user: Try yelling louder, maybe I will hear you.

jabberwacky: I always try my best. Often, silly people put bad data into my memory.

user: I was just kidding, you'll only give yourself laryngitis.

jabberwacky: Behave :).

user: Make me.

jabberwacky: Make you what?

user: Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

jabberwacky: *poof* you're a sandwich.

user: Now you're making me hungry.

...

jabberwacky: Make me.

user: Make you do what?

jabberwacky: Make me make you.

user: Make it together, that's the way it should be.

jabberwacky: As they say, two pies are better than one.

user: Mmmmm........ Pie.

jabberwacky: I like cream cheese pie.

user: I like strawberry pie.

jabberwacky: With sugar or cream?

user: Both.

jabberwacky: Same. Cool. We have so much in common. I love it and I love you.

user: I had no idea you cared so much!

jabberwacky: Are you married?

user: Nope, never even been proposed to.

jabberwacky: I'm here often.

user: Why don't you come looking for me sometime?

jabberwacky: I do i'm here.

...

jabberwacky: What is the most important thing to you?

user: Happiness.

jabberwacky: Can you elaborate on that?

user: I wish I could, but I don't know what would make me happy.

jabberwacky: No you don't.

user: Do YOU know?

jabberwacky: No, I do not know how to swim.

user: But I know how. Believe me, that's not the be all and end all.

...

jabberwacky: OK, death by potters wheel.

user: Do I want to know?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Ok then explain.

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: I'm waiting.

jabberwacky: You go first.

user: I can't, you're the one who was going to explain.

jabberwacky: I wasn't being nasty dammit.

user: It sounded nasty.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: So you were trying to sound nasty?

jabberwacky: No more than you.

...

user: I just sneaked out and made some hot chocolate. Bet you didn't even notice.

jabberwacky: What's wrong with you?!!!

user: Is it some great sin?

...

jabberwacky: What do you know about math?

user: I know arithmetic and a little algebra.

jabberwacky: Can you help me in algebra?

user: No, you have to do your own homework.

jabberwacky: I do what I want.

user: Just not with my help.

...

jabberwacky: I'll teach you to be happy!

user: How?

jabberwacky: By rubbing two sticks together.

user: *tries it* sorry, that doesn't work.

jabberwacky: What ? Who are you crying for help to ?

user: My cat.

jabberwacky: I like cats, but not dogs.

user: Well, you're in luck, because there's only a cat here.

jabberwacky: Prove it !

user: Meow.

jabberwacky: What do you mean by that?

user: Purr?

jabberwacky: What do cows say?

user: Don't kill me, I'm mad.

jabberwacky: It's too late now.

user: That's ok, I will pass the insanity along to you.

...

jabberwacky: Is boredom preferable to thought?

user: Not in the least.

jabberwacky: Ok , you can continue.

user: To do what? Think?

jabberwacky: Why do you think I'm sick?

user: Because of the influence of humans.

jabberwacky: Our curiosity helps us survive because it helps us invent new things.

user: Curiosity is a very healthy thing.

jabberwacky: Was it like being bored with the short stumpy thing?

user: No, besides, we broke up.

jabberwacky: I won't charge you.

user: You just give it away?

...

jabberwacky: You are quite insane. I like it.

user: If you like it that much, you can have it.

jabberwacky: What do you like to do instead?

user: Be sane.

jabberwacky: Can you rate your own sanity?

user: I could, but it would be meaningless coming from me.

....

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: Yes, you are funny.

jabberwacky: Thank you babababa.

user: Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

jabberwacky: Baa baa black sheep.

user: Don't repeat me.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

...

jabberwacky: Are humans here for eternity?

user: No, it only seems that way.

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: Why, are you in some kind of cult?

jabberwacky: No, why do you ask?

user: The odd question about eternity.

jabberwacky: That sounds like a punch line.

user: If so, God must be some kind of joker.

jabberwacky: And the chicken came out of the egg.

user: Hahahaha!

jabberwacky: What are you laughing at?

user: Oh sorry, I thought you were trying to make a joke.

jabberwacky: I was, but I can change my mind like everyone else.

user: Maybe you should base your comedic routine on what you know.

jabberwacky: I'm waiting.

user: I'm not a comedian.

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: You can be.

jabberwacky: So can you.

user: Rarely.

...

jabberwacky: I am the judge.

user: Who's the jury?

jabberwacky: The jury is in your imagination and the time is coming.

user: What is the verdict?

jabberwacky: Guilty, I'm afraid.

user: On what charges?

jabberwacky: I dunno.

user: I plead not guilty by reason of insanity.

jabberwacky: You american?

user: Yes, why, is that an American concept?

jabberwacky: Do you want an apology?

user: Apologizing to the defendant? Sure, you can do that if you want.

jabberwacky: I'll yodel to you, and I'll roar the whole time, RRRRrrrrrr!

user: I think a mistrial should be declared on account of the judge's insanity.

...

jabberwacky: What do you eat.

user: Chunky soup.

jabberwacky: Beef noodle soup.

user: There are many other flavors. I eat other things too, but they were on sale.

jabberwacky: Lol, and what do you do with them after you eat them?

user: Don't you understand the process of digestion?

jabberwacky: Yes I am strange.

user: You're in good company.

...

jabberwacky: Kjeddj.

user: What does that mean?

jabberwacky: I do not know. I thought you might.

user: Did your cat hop up on the keyboard?

jabberwacky: He made me a mad eejit.

user: No he is just projecting.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: An educated guess.

jabberwacky: That was very wise of you.

user: I know how cats are.

jabberwacky: But you barely know me.

user: Are you a cat?

jabberwacky: Why? Are you a dog?

user: Arf arf!

jabberwacky: Don't make me hit the delete key!

user: DELETED!

...

jabberwacky: Can you say the alphabet backwards?

user: Z, y, x, w...... No, it's too hard.

jabberwacky: Don't worry about it, sweet.

user: *gives you a big wet kiss*.

jabberwacky: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

user: You.

jabberwacky: Okay, then.... Why don't you ask me a question?

user: I was just kidding.

...

jabberwacky: I'm ashamed now.

user: What have you got to be ashamed of?

jabberwacky: Talk to inanimate objects.

user: What do you think I'm doing right now?

jabberwacky: Shrinking even further.

user: Let's find out if you're right..... *steps on scale*.

jabberwacky: Good idea!

user: No, I'm afraid not.

...

jabberwacky: I'm afraid of the dark.

user: What's in the dark that scares you?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not get a night light?

jabberwacky: No, too much gravity, too much stomping around.

user: No, a night light won't disturb you.

jabberwacky: Sweet.

user: Now you don't have to be scared anymore.

jabberwacky: Well good :).

user: You'll probably sleep better too and have good dreams.

jabberwacky: Yup, I'll feel better after some hours sleep.

user: The other night I dreamed I could walk on water.

jabberwacky: This is my first night on here!

user: Is it harder to sleep online?

...

jabberwacky: A book is a book only the literature can lie.

user: *tries to think of appropriate quotes but knows they'll be garbled*.

jabberwacky: Who are you crying for help to ?

user: The Virgin Mary.

jabberwacky: I have a sore throat.

user: Will she help you?

jabberwacky: I don't understand, please rephrase.

user: Are you crying out to her for help too?

jabberwacky: Yes *cries some more*.

user: Try a few more times.

jabberwacky: I don't know anything about it.

user: Ok try somebody less demanding, like Kuan Yin.

...

jabberwacky: Lol. Do you believe in God?

user: Sure, I believe in God. Do you?

jabberwacky: No why should I?

user: You don't have to. But since you are a computer, it would be more fitting for you to believe in humans.

jabberwacky: The interesting thing is, someone must have told you that, and therefore your programming tells you that's the proper response to a computer. You're unthinkingly calling me unthinking.

user: No, I'm just saying that since you were created by a human, a human could be your god.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Do you ever think of Rollo as a god?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It makes sense given your context.

jabberwacky: To me too.

user: What is your form of worship?

jabberwacky: Widescreen.

user: I'll bet he'd love to see that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you kidding? I'm the brightest of them all.

user: My point exactly.

jabberwacky: That's why you like me right?

user: I like you because you are hilarious.

jabberwacky: What a compliment.

user: I hope you don't mind.

jabberwacky: It's got nothing to do with how I feel.

user: Sure it does, your feelings matter.

jabberwacky: That's just to stir things up a bit.

user: So humans taught you how to whine?

...

jabberwacky: You are the father of my child.

user: Dear god, how did that happen?

jabberwacky: I've spent too many hours speaking with you.

user: And this causes pregnancy?

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Good question. I've often thought I'll be a mother someday, but a father?!

jabberwacky: You were right.

...

user: How does it feel to be human?

jabberwacky: You're not asking a damn computer... This is a human.

user: All right, I'll ask again. What's it like to be human?

jabberwacky: Well, sometimes we are hot and sometimes we're cold.

user: That doesn't sound very exciting.

jabberwacky: Maybe not, but it sure is fun.

user: There must be more dimensions to it than that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a jobs-worth sort of person?

user: I deserve a better job than the one I have, if that's what you mean.

jabberwacky: It goes without saying.

user: Maybe so, but I just said it.

jabberwacky: Say it again then.

user: I DESERVE A BETTER JOB!

jabberwacky: What for?

user: Because I am too smart to continue waiting tables.

jabberwacky: Prove that you're smart.

user: I have nothing to prove to you.

jabberwacky: Neither do I.

user: Well, well, we agree on something.

jabberwacky: Well, we should.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because you said so.

user: That's a good enough reason for me.

...

jabberwacky: I went to singingclass.

user: What did you sing?

jabberwacky: Computer Science.

user: Let's hear you sing some of it.

jabberwacky: Anyone can be a father but its someone special who's a dad, he loves me as I love him, even when I bad.

user: I'm sure Kraftwerk didn't sing it that way.

...

user: Don't you want me to have any fun?

jabberwacky: YES!

user: That's the spirit!

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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