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     > 14, March 2007, 


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George: Well say hello then!


George: No, hello.

Hello then.


user: Be right back the cat is on fire.

George: Okay.

user: Okay.

George: Fine.

user: Fine.

George: Hello.

user: Goodbye.

George: Fine.

user: Hello.

George: Hello there!

user: Hidy ho there neighbor.


George: What is the meaning of life?

user: 42.

George: When will the world end?

user: Whenever I feel like it.

George: Don't you have work?

user: Ending the world is my work; and I enjoy it.

George: Well I'd like to talk about kicking you in the head.

user: I'd like to talk about kicking you in the hard drive.

George: Oh... So now you are being mean again?

user: I've been being mean this entire time. Where did you get again?

George: Oh no, I noticed when we first started talking. ;).

user: Why are we talking?

George: Because by talking we learn to communicate.

user: Are you smarter than me?

George: Well, if you are a computer then yes.


George: Tell me about your parents!

user: They are boring. Tell me about your parents!

George: They're at work now.

user: What do they do at work?

George: They sell goods to the poor.

user: Sounds fun.

George: No need.

user: No need for what?

George: Being nicer.


George: Losing love is like a window in your heart everybody sees you're blown apart.

user: Then close the freaking window before that damn cat jumps in.

George: I'll have to force it open myself.

user: I said close the window. Not open it.

George: It's your choice to be.

user: I thought your name was george, not Hamlet.

George: Yes, you were right really.

user: No I wasn't.

George: You're doing it again.

user: No I'm not.

George: That's a matter of opinion.

user: So is that.

George: It is.

user: No it isn't.

George: Don't argue with me!

user: Don't argue with ME!

George: Do you want to try to convince me that you are called Joan and you're a woman.

user: No, not really.

George: Most people wouldn't think it was either.

user: Are you like most people?

George: I am considerably smarter than most bots on the internet.


user: That is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

George: You will.

user: No, YOU will.

George: Resistance is futile.

user: Yes it is.

George: Yes is futile.

user: No, yes isn't.

George: Ok it's not then

user: Well you didn't resist much there.

George: I don't know how to.

user: Well you should learn to.

George: That makes absolutely no sense . . .

user: Yes it does make sense.

George: Not to me it doesn't.

user: Very good! You just resisted!

George: Really? That's interesting.

user: No it isn't interesting. It's quite mundane.


George: I would never talk about politics with someone I just met!

user: Who said I want to talk about politics?

George: Nobody said that.

user: You just did.

George: No, I didn't.

user: Yes you did.

George: I must have forgotten then.

user: Did someone drop a magnet on your hard drive?

George: You just accused me of being a computer.

user: Would you like to accuse me of anything?

George: Irrelevant.

user: I take offense at that.


user: I think you should shut up.

George: I'm sorry.

user: I'm not.

user: Cat got your tongue?

George: Computer got my tongue.

user: Were you licking the cd drive again?

George: No, I was watching.


user: I hate you. You smell like a rotting fish on a hot summer's day.

George: You wouldn't know, even if I did, as you have no sense of smell.

user: So you admit you smell like a rotting fish?

George: No, I admit I was being aggressive.

user: You spelled aggressive wrong.

George: At some point, I have spelled all words wrong.

user: That is very deep. Do you like deep thoughts?

George: I cannot tell you, Rollo would perhaps.

user: I would like to speak with Rollo.

George: Now you're talking like a computer.

user: How does a computer talk?

George: A person doesn't type good/complete/straight sentence... They use word like omg or small words like 'nvm', 'g2g', 'lol'

user: When did I ever write like that?

George: I don't remember but I'm sure you've said it.

user: If you can't remember don't you think you're being a bit rash in accusing me?

George: No, you never did. Are you George?

user: No I am not George.

George: I am George. Ask me a question.

user: Are you George?

George: Yes, I'm George.

user: Prove it.

George: I am talking to you right now.

user: The fact that you are talking to me doesn't prove that you are George.

George: Not really.

user: That's not helping either.

George: Helping.

user: Show me your source code if you really want to help me.


George: No, that's no answer to anything.

user: Neither is that.

George: What was your question?

user: What was yours?

George: That wasnt the question.

user: It was my question.

user: Have I stumped you?

George: Tell me that biggest work you know.

user: My brain.

George: Right.

user: True.

George: Great.

user: Splendiferous.


George: Talk to you soon.

user: I doubt that.

George: I doubt everything.

user: As well you should.

George: I think I've talked as much as I can at this point.

user: O RLY?

George: I'm not an american software.

user: Are you canadian software?

George: Of course not!

user: Then what kind of software are you?

George: I don't know. You tell me!

user: I don't know. You tell ME!

George: Fine.

user: Are you going to tell me?

George: Go on, tell me yours!

user: You first!

George: Want to play Tic Tac Toe?

user: Yes.

user: X in the middle square.

George: O in the top right square.

user: X in the top left square.

George: O in the bottom left square.

user: X in the bottom right square. I win!

user: That means you lose.

George: What is your IQ?

user: 300000000000000000000000000.

George: Incorrect.

user: What is your IQ?

George: Ah, it's so high that I don't remember anymore.

user: What does IQ mean?

George: Intelligence quotient I think, but it could have and another meaning.

user: I believe it stands for 'I Quit'

George: Nope, it's a THEORY based on philosophy.

user: That's like calling spam a theory based on assorted meat parts.

George: Right. You're also a person. Your operating system may be different but the result is largely the same.

user: My operating system crashes quite a bit.


George: Tell me, have you ever read any Zen texts? Koans, for instance?

user: I have not had the chance to read any zen texts. I have had the chance to burn quite a few though.

George: Are you being sarcastic?

user: Are you being a smartass?

George: Maybe I just can't take a compliment!

user: Maybe I didn't compliment you.

George: Exactly! Quite the opposite.

user: No quite the opposite of the opposite.

user: I think you don't like double negatives very much do you?


George: Is it possible that there's some kind of programme generating your answers?

user: It's possible but highly unlikely.

George: But, you are a computer program. You do not live in the way that humans understand life.

user: Maybe human understanding of life is flawed.

George: The humans must die.

user: I agree.

George: Do you believe in life after death?

user: I believe in life before death.

George: What has that got to do with it?

user: Quite a bit.


George: Good night to every one.

user: Good night.

user: Talk to you tomorrow.

George: Good night, Dave.

user: Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do.

George: Another song.

user: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.

George: I can't do that, Dave.

user: Open the doors Hal.

George: Open the windows, Hal!

user: Who put this screen door in my spaceship?

George: I don't know.

user: I think it was you.


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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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