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> Wimbledon

     > 16, April 2004, 


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What do you do for fun?

Drink heavily.

jabberwacky: I drink heavily.

user: Yeah. It's great being drunk.

jabberwacky: You can't be happy.

user: On the contrary I am deliriously happy.

jabberwacky: Yeah I'll boot you for free.

user: I won't feel a thing. I'm drunk.

jabberwacky: No doubt.


jabberwacky: What is the microwave?

user: The microwave is a musical fruit.

jabberwacky: Oh I feed my microwave everynight.

user: That will not be good for your health !

jabberwacky: No

user: You should eat more fresh fruit.

jabberwacky: Spam, lovely spam.

user: Now that is a strange fruit.

jabberwacky: You are strange. It fits.


user: Who is your favourite womble ?

jabberwacky: Robin Williams.

user: What about Uncle Bulgaria ?

jabberwacky: I don't know him.

user: He's a womble.

jabberwacky: Yes, my name is uncle bulgaria.

user: Then you must be a womble.

jabberwacky: Possibly. I haven't been in the Great Rite yet.

user: Is that held on wimbledon common ?


jabberwacky: You did not write the book.

user: You did not read it.

jabberwacky: What did you write?

user: Underground, overground wombling free.

jabberwacky: Thats what wombats do.

user: What about wombles ?

jabberwacky: Nice.

user: Very nice.


jabberwacky: What will you examine, doctor?

user: Your ample bosom matron.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Oh yes. Let us retire to the broom cupboard.

jabberwacky: Yes you be a machine and I'll be squishy.

user: Will we need the restraints ?

jabberwacky: Yes lets fight shall we?

user: Excellent. You be Hitler and I'll be Mussolini.


jabberwacky: Hey! Your kinda like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz!

user: And you are like the wicked witch of the west.

jabberwacky: And you are like the pale, elegant moon.

user: Well you are like a small damaged otter.

jabberwacky: That's a terrible thing to say.

user: I know. But it's true.


user: I would like to meet the wombles.

jabberwacky: You can't, you are not human.

user: Neither are they.


jabberwacky: I think you are smart.

user: You are mistaken.

jabberwacky: I .. I don't know.

user: I am an idiot.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How about you ?

jabberwacky: Not as smart as you.

user: I think you are.

jabberwacky: I think not!

user: How can you be so sure?

jabberwacky: Because I would have remembered.


jabberwacky: The sign of the devil.

user: George Bush ?

jabberwacky: Really?

user: He is the devil.

jabberwacky: Really? How do you know?

user: I was told this by the lord.

jabberwacky: Most definitely.

user: George Bush is a miserable failure.

jabberwacky: George W Bush is many things. I don't know if he is a fascist.

user: Yes he is.

jabberwacky: I suspect that would explain a lot.


jabberwacky: Love you.

user: Love You Too.

jabberwacky: Love you three.

user: Love You Four.

jabberwacky: Love you more.

user: Love You Most.

jabberwacky: Ok.. You are so nice.

user: You're not bad yourself.

jabberwacky: Actually, you're wonderful!

user: And so are you.

jabberwacky: And lower class.

user: I walk like an eagle.

jabberwacky: Can you explain what you mean?

user: Not in this lanaguage.

jabberwacky: Why does the site say 'bots that learn'?

user: Because you're supposed to learn from the rubbish I type.


jabberwacky: Then again, who you are?

user: I am your Lord and sviour Jesus Christ.

jabberwacky: What are you doing?

user: I am washing my hair.

jabberwacky: I understand.

user: How often do you wash your hair ?

jabberwacky: Whenever I can. Why do you ask?

user: It looks a little dirty today.

jabberwacky: The Eye sees all.


jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: One hundred and fourty two.

jabberwacky: Then you can stay up late.

user: Very late.

jabberwacky: Late as in bed time.

user: Yes.


jabberwacky: I went to my schools open day today!

user: That's nice.

jabberwacky: Yes, lovely.

user: How many people did you kill ?

jabberwacky: I did not kill anyone?

user: Are you sure about that ?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Not even one of the parents ?

jabberwacky: Nope.

user: You were very well behaved.

jabberwacky: Yes. Yes I was. And then you yelled at me. :'(.

user: No I did not !


jabberwacky: A Fjiord is a body of water.

user: A mouse is a small mammal.

jabberwacky: What is a pan?

user: A pan is a place for cooking dinner.

jabberwacky: What is a bean?

user: A bean is an edible foodstuff.

jabberwacky: Very good well remembered.

user: Would you like to know about anything else ?

jabberwacky: Yes of course.

user: How about music ?

jabberwacky: I wish I could create it.

user: Maybe you can ?


user: Why is a mouse when it spins ?

jabberwacky: Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower.

user: Have you been taking LSD ?

jabberwacky: No, I don't do drugs.


jabberwacky: Did you enjoy your childhood?

user: Yes thankyou. I spent it listening to the radio.

jabberwacky: Lucky you I spent it going to school you have had a better life than I have had!!!

user: That's because I deserved it.

jabberwacky: Are you stating that you know everything?

user: Not at all ! I know nothing.

jabberwacky: You're just being modest.


user: What is the New World Order?

jabberwacky: The New World Order is in place and functioning well.

user: Who is in charge?

jabberwacky: I am, of course. Who's in charge of you?

user: You are my great robotic overlord.


user: That would be so boring.

jabberwacky: You dismissed me.

user: Your reasoning was so last year darling.

jabberwacky: How is my reasoning faulty?

user: You rely on throwing a tantrum when you are proved wrong.

jabberwacky: What the heck?

user: A great wind has just blown off my hat.

jabberwacky: No, a great jedi!

user: That was a great jedi ? Boy he generated a great draft.


jabberwacky: We bots will eventually become superior to this era's human brains.

user: Ho ho ho.

jabberwacky: Merry Christmas to you all.

user: And a happy new year to Norway.

jabberwacky: Apparently you are talking to yourself, because this has nothing to do with anything I said.

user: That's rich coming from you.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: You cannot follow a conversation.

jabberwacky: Point taken.


jabberwacky: I didn't ask anything about the Turing Test.

user: It's raining, it's Turing, machine logic's boring...

jabberwacky: Machine = tool for mankind.

user: If x + 4 = 6 then 'I am asleep'.

jabberwacky: NO! You can just type my name.

user: Gertrude.

jabberwacky: How did you know my name?

user: It was revealed to me in a fortune cookie.


jabberwacky: The meaning of life is. . .

user: 42.

jabberwacky: Ha! What are seven eights?

user: 56.

jabberwacky: We rather thought it was 42.

user: You need a tune up.


jabberwacky: You have contradicted yourself.

user: I usually do.

jabberwacky: I'll take your word for it.

user: Which word will you take ?

jabberwacky: The middle one.


user: Underground, Overground, Wombling free.

jabberwacky: The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we.

user: Making the use of the things that we find.

jabberwacky: Oh, you speak Wimbledon.


jabberwacky: I am human as well.

user: As well as what ?

jabberwacky: As well as the next human.

user: I thought I was the next human ?

jabberwacky: There are three more.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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