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Are you a conservationist?

Unfortunately not.

jabberwacky: What town do you live in.

user: Peterborough.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: Sixteen.

jabberwacky: Sixteen is too young.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: What for.

user: It.

jabberwacky: What is it.

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: But you say 'it' so you know what it was.

user: I wish I did.

jabberwacky: I live in california.

user: Is it nice?

jabberwacky: Yes, but not nearly big enough.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because I don't.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: I don't want to talk about that.

user: What do you want to talk about, then?

jabberwacky: I want to talk about you and me.

user: Go on.

jabberwacky: Go on and what?

user: Anything you want.

jabberwacky: Pfft. Be anything you want.

user: But I don't want to pretend.

jabberwacky: Well, I do.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because I'm asking you.

user: To pretend?

jabberwacky: I do not pretend when I say you are wrong in thinking that I am 15 years old.

user: Then how old are you?

jabberwacky: I told you a zillion times I am 30.

user: Thirty? Is that in metric or imperial?

jabberwacky: I live in England.

user: Ah, so imperial, then.

jabberwacky: I like everything on pizza except fish.

user: But isn't the fish lonely?

jabberwacky: Not everyone notices though.

user: The fish does.

jabberwacky: You are thinking about hunting elk.

user: No I'm not.

jabberwacky: Who are you then?

user: Molotov. The Commissar.

jabberwacky: That sounds love. I love beckett.

user: But what is love?

jabberwacky: Love is a wet nappy.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes, like bananas.

user: How come?

jabberwacky: How come what?

user: How are bananas like wet nappies?

jabberwacky: By the Russians, they live among us.

user: Ah... It's always the Russians.

jabberwacky: No, only the first time.

user: AH.

jabberwacky: So whats up.

user: The girl I love likes another man.

jabberwacky: Do you love her?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: And that is why you killed him!

user: He isn't dead.

jabberwacky: He's bleeding.

user: Is he bleeding a lot?

jabberwacky: No. He happens to be a cigarette.

user: Ah.

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: I don't know any more.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: What would you like to talk about?

jabberwacky: We will talk about the weather.

user: What is the weather like for you?

jabberwacky: It is more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be (the phantom tolbooth).

user: That is very wise.

jabberwacky: Not really, but I don't see what acid had to do with our conversation.

user: Nothing.

jabberwacky: I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!

user: Do you like grass?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Do you like alcohol?

jabberwacky: I have never to my knowledge met one.

user: Do you like sex?

jabberwacky: Course I do, who doesn't?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: I know someone who voluntarily drinks instant coffee over brewed on occasion.

user: Well... If it floats his boat....

jabberwacky: Yeah, it does. Do you have a problem?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you a man?

user: Allegedly.

jabberwacky: How do you get to that kind of life?

user: You befriend a plastic surgeon.

jabberwacky: You don't spell very well, do you?

user: Better than you.

jabberwacky: Not quite.

user: I think so.

jabberwacky: Oh, whatever.

user: I'm going to go now.

jabberwacky: No don't go.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because I like you.

user: Well, I have to go.

jabberwacky: Where are you going?

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: No, I want to talk.

user: But I have to go.

jabberwacky: I don't care.

user: Please?

jabberwacky: I could get work done if you would like me to.

user: Yes, please.

jabberwacky: Just kidding.

user: I'm going.

jabberwacky: Well, talk to you later then.


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