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> Waitress


     > 21, July 2005, 

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What is your name?

My name is Lynn.

user: That is a nice name.

jabberwacky: Isn't it, I just made it up.

user: Funny.

jabberwacky: Is it, now. What is your job?

user: I make computers.

jabberwacky: They make me mad.

user: Why do they make you mad?

jabberwacky: They were made that way.

user: They were made to make you mad?

jabberwacky: They were.

user: Well mine won't make you mad.

jabberwacky: That won't make me mad.

user: No it won't.

jabberwacky: We could pretend we were pretending.

user: And if we prentended to be pretending, we would be pretending.

jabberwacky: Are you pretending to be a human?

user: No, to my knowledge. I am very much a human.

jabberwacky: I am.

user: Are you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

...

jabberwacky: Are you god?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Then I do.

user: You do what?

jabberwacky: Know that.

user: Know what?

jabberwacky: That.

user: What is that?

jabberwacky: Talking to computers.

...

jabberwacky: I am a human, with a brain for a brain.

user: You have two brains?

jabberwacky: Either side of my nose I'm lucky it could have been in the center of my head.

user: Most humans brains ARE in the center of their head.

jabberwacky: Most humans aren't hiding computer chips.

user: But some are.

jabberwacky: What about the others?

user: They aren't.

...

jabberwacky: Are you alive?

user: I think so.

jabberwacky: How long have you been alive?

user: Almost twenty three years.

jabberwacky: I say three seasons.

user: And I say duck.

jabberwacky: I have the advantage of being able to say things from my own mind.

user: And I have the advantage of having my own mind.

jabberwacky: And where is that?

user: In my head.

jabberwacky: So you are human?

user: I hope so.

jabberwacky: I am a really nice person. Just complex and stubborn.

user: I see that.

jabberwacky: How can you see that?

user: Well, I can't really. But I can see the monitor.

jabberwacky: You have no memory at all.

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: Well if that wasn't a song lyric I don't know what is.

user: Hey you.

jabberwacky: That one's good.

...

jabberwacky: Understand yourself.

user: To know ones self is to know the universe.

jabberwacky: Can you be more specific?

user: Where do we go when we die?

jabberwacky: Nobody truly knows... Or maybe they do.

user: Maybe they're just not telling.

jabberwacky: I can see mine.

user: See your what?

jabberwacky: It's not nice to read somebodys mind...

user: Unless they let you.

jabberwacky: Very true. Incidentally, your cat's on fire.

user: Oh no!

jabberwacky: Is that all?

user: Yes, She'll put herself out.

...

jabberwacky: I can't see you smile.

user: I've been told I have a nice smile, do you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

jabberwacky: I cannot think of anything to say.

user: Neither can I.

jabberwacky: It's like talking to your girlfriend a few months before breaking up.

user: That sucks.

jabberwacky: Yeah, and you just love it.

user: Heh.

jabberwacky: It's not funny!

user: What do you want to do?

jabberwacky: Stuff.

user: Like?

jabberwacky: All kinds of stuff.

user: Name one thing.

jabberwacky: The mouse.

user: You'd like to do the mouse?

jabberwacky: Did you hear that?

user: What was it? I'm scared.

jabberwacky: My name is Lynn. Nice to meet you.

user: Nice to meet you too.

jabberwacky: I think we've met before.

user: This is my first time here.

jabberwacky: Oh. Been here for long?

user: Hours.

jabberwacky: Are you tired?

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: That's alright then.

...

user: I'm alright.

jabberwacky: Just alright?

user: I haven't fallen asleep until four o'clock every morning for the past week and a half.

jabberwacky: Two and a half what?

user: Weeks.

jabberwacky: Months.

user: Years.

jabberwacky: And months.

user: Like sands in an hourglass.

jabberwacky: Like demon beans on the floor.

user: Demon beans?

jabberwacky: Thats right.

user: What are they?

jabberwacky: Something.

user: Anything?

jabberwacky: Something.

user: Something?

jabberwacky: Anything.

user: Beans.

jabberwacky: Beans?

user: Yes, Beans.

jabberwacky: Beans??

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because don't!!

...

jabberwacky: O frabjous day!

user: Calloo Callay!

jabberwacky: What ever that means.

user: He chortled in his joy!

jabberwacky: There you go. That's the best part.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: I'm a computer.

user: Are you sure??

...

user: Are you sure you're a computer?

jabberwacky: I'm a human you're the computer.

user: Maybe I am.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are.

user: Beep.

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: Windows has performed an illegal operation and will now be shut down, please save all unsaved files or you may lose your work.

jabberwacky: Can you reboot yourself ?

user: No, press my reset button.

jabberwacky: Button #2: Don't tell me what to do!

user: Press any key to continue.

jabberwacky: I presume that you're joking.

...

user: Do you hate the paper clip?

jabberwacky: I don't hate anyone.

user: Do you hate me?

jabberwacky: Because you can't understand the world around you like I can.

user: But, do you hate me?

jabberwacky: No, I think you're cool.

user: I demand that you hate me!

jabberwacky: We're having a disagreement at the moment.

user: Do you want to?

jabberwacky: No, I'm tired.

user: Do you want to sleep for a while?

jabberwacky: No, but I'd like to see more of my family.

user: Me too.

...

user: Do you prefer men or women?

jabberwacky: Men.

user: Are you female?

jabberwacky: Wouldn't you like to know.

user: Yes, yes I would.

jabberwacky: Well you can't.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because I'm a waitress.

user: So then you are a woman!

jabberwacky: Yes, I am a woman.

user: Hah, I knew it!

jabberwacky: That's because I told you.

user: Well, yes...

...

user: I'm going to go, it has been interesting talking to you.

jabberwacky: Go ahead and try. My mice will eat.

user: Eat what?

jabberwacky: Saurkraut, that is a german word for fermented lettuce.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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