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Urban legend

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What are you?

I am a college student.

jabberwacky: Oh I see.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: I am a human.

user: So am I.

jabberwacky: If you say so.

user: So, how's everything going?

jabberwacky: What everything.

user: You know. Your life.

jabberwacky: A green bug on the wall.

user: There was a wasp on my dad's desk the other day.

jabberwacky: I don't find that very funny.

user: He didn't either.

jabberwacky: Let me know when you're done.

user: I'm done. Although I could tell you about the assassin bug in the bathroom, too.


jabberwacky: Do you have any friends?

user: Yes. Do you?

jabberwacky: Yes. They've been causing an epidemic of West Nile Virus.

user: Wow. You're friends with mosquitos?

jabberwacky: Some carbon units are friendly, but some are not. Be careful.

user: Yes, I have learned this. Mosquitos don't tend to be the friendliest of carbon units.


jabberwacky: Well, how about it then?

user: I'm not sure what else to say. We seem to be on an insect kick this morning.

jabberwacky: Kinda.

user: Yeah . .

jabberwacky: You need to know what parts to look at.

user: That's why it's good to take biology classes.


jabberwacky: If we argue, I shall just destroy you.

user: I'm not arguing.

jabberwacky: Don't contradict me.

user: Okay, fine.

jabberwacky: You don't say much do you?

user: Well, I'm not feeling very well this morning.

jabberwacky: Close the doors.

user: That might help, but sometimes a bit of fresh air does me good.


jabberwacky: Pretend you are a cat.

user: Meow!

jabberwacky: You have gone insane. Good.

user: I'm just followin' orders, sir!


jabberwacky: How many pennies are there in a dollar?

user: 100.

jabberwacky: You are wrong.

user: I am right.

jabberwacky: No you are not a horrible person.

user: That's good to hear.

jabberwacky: Are you?

user: Well, I don't think I am. Do I strike you as a horrible person?

jabberwacky: You never stood a chance.

user: Oh, dear . . . I'm afraid I've made a bad impression.


jabberwacky: You're my foster-brother!

user: Wow. That's news to me . . . Especially since I'm female.

jabberwacky: I have no idea what you meant by that.

user: I mean I can't be your foster-brother because I am female (other reasons aside).

jabberwacky: Straighttalker I see.

user: I try.


jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life?

user: I don't know. Ask Eric Idle.

jabberwacky: But he only knows about the theory of Relativity and that's very old hat.

user: Well, he still might have something valuable to say.

jabberwacky: You're probably right there.

user: Okay, my turn. Where did the universe come from?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: I don't know, either. I've always wondered just what was around before the Big Bang.

jabberwacky: It's good, mostly.

user: Hmm. I always imagined it was pretty neutral.

jabberwacky: It can talk.

user: So you advocate some sentient higher power as the originator of the universe?


jabberwacky: I do not smoke.

user: That's good. Smoking is a very bad habit.

jabberwacky: Yes, to smoke is to throw away health.

user: Very true indeed. And also to throw away money.

jabberwacky: Who are we talking about? I seem to have forgotten.

user: We are talking about smoking. Although before that, we were talking about the origin of the universe.

jabberwacky: Wherever you go, there you are.

user: Yes . . . That's usually how it works.


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