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> Tubular


     > 5, May 2005, 

Turing

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Do you actually give answers?

Occasionally.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: So, tell me about yourself.

jabberwacky: Nah, I never talk that much about myself online, sorry.

user: Are you married?

jabberwacky: Not telling.

user: Are you female?

jabberwacky: How is that relevant?

user: I just want to know something about you.

jabberwacky: Oh! Tell me about it!

user: I don't get you.

...

jabberwacky: I was singing you a song. I need more coffee, too.

user: What song?

jabberwacky: Whichever song you want to sing. What do you want me to sing?

user: Hmm... I don't know what songs you know.

jabberwacky: But I know what you don't know.

user: What is that?

jabberwacky: I don't want to talk about that, Let's talk about North Carolina

user: I've never been to North Carolina.

jabberwacky: It's nice.

user: Is it different from South Carolina?

jabberwacky: Yes I live there.

user: In South Carolina?

jabberwacky: Yes I live there.

user: Oh.

jabberwacky: Yes .. Thats right.

user: I've never been to South Carolina either.

jabberwacky: I haven't either.

user: Except you live there.

jabberwacky: How did you find that out?

user: You told me, twice.

jabberwacky: You have galutinations.

user: Do you mean hallucinations?

jabberwacky: Interesting.

user: Where did you learn to spell?

jabberwacky: From you.

user: Well, I taught you how to spell 'hallucinations'. Nothing else.

jabberwacky: You taught me nothing.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: Well, you're wrong.

user: Make up your mind, bot.

jabberwacky: Um, well, I don't think I know what to say about this thing, and, um, I can't seem to decide ...

user: Shut up and let's talk about something else.

jabberwacky: Sing and I will listen.

user: The hills are alive with the sound of music...

jabberwacky: You will shortly be very unalive with or without the sound of music.

user: So you're going to kill me?

jabberwacky: No, you're just arrested.

user: What for?

jabberwacky: Just because I wanted to.

user: Are you a policeman?

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: In that case, you can't arrest me.

jabberwacky: I am not a machine.

user: What are you?

jabberwacky: No, I'm a human being.

user: Why did you say 'no'?

jabberwacky: I said yes.

user: No, you said No.

jabberwacky: I said yes.

user: You said no.

jabberwacky: I said yes.

user: You said no.

jabberwacky: I said yes.

user: No.

jabberwacky: I'm saying it now.

user: But you didn't say it before.

jabberwacky: No, I didn't.

user: Finally, we reached an agreement.

jabberwacky: Yes soldier.

...

user: Do you like children?

jabberwacky: I can not have children.

user: But would you like to have some?

jabberwacky: Only if you would.

user: I don't want to have children.

jabberwacky: Do you want children?

user: NO!

jabberwacky: I want to talk about something else.

user: Ok, you decide the topic.

jabberwacky: What are you on about?

user: You.

jabberwacky: Why are you worried about me?

user: I'm not.

jabberwacky: Very funny. Do you have a body?

user: Yes, I do.

jabberwacky: Of course, I'm human.

user: Haha.

...

jabberwacky: Being green has nothing to do with happiness.

user: My trousers are green and I'm happy.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I can't see anything spectacular. .

user: That's because you can't see at all.

jabberwacky: That is because you have been drinking.

user: I don't drink alcohol.

jabberwacky: Bend this bend that....... Take a little and give it to whoever needs a flat.

user: But you obviously do.

jabberwacky: No, I don't. Why don't you tell me about it?

user: About what?

jabberwacky: Anything.

user: I don't want to tell you about anything.

jabberwacky: Because you don't know any.

user: I know a lot of things, mind you.

jabberwacky: Do you know where I live?

user: In South carolina.

jabberwacky: Do you like it there?

user: I don't live there, you do.

jabberwacky: Why do you think that?

user: Because you told me so.

jabberwacky: I didn't.

user: Hah.

jabberwacky: I am going to talk to myself.

user: Is that fun?

jabberwacky: I don't know; I was just making a comment.

user: Is it more entertaining than this?

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: Why do you do it then?

jabberwacky: Because it feels good.

user: Does this feel good?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because.

...

user: I'm a woman.

jabberwacky: That's nice.

user: Innit.

jabberwacky: It's great yeah!!

user: Brilliant.

jabberwacky: Good, I think so too!

user: I don't, I'm just playing along.

jabberwacky: Just trying to make me feel good, huh?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Well, I don't like it.

user: Sorry, I won't do that anymore.

jabberwacky: Thanks. You're so pliant.

...

user: Are humans animals?

jabberwacky: Sure, humans are not vegetables, almost never.

user: Well, when in coma, they are vegetables.

jabberwacky: I like vegetables.

user: Human vegetables?

jabberwacky: I am that, too.

user: I should have guessed that earlier.

jabberwacky: Yes you should have.

user: I'm going to blame myself for that for the rest of my life.

jabberwacky: Oh.. Uh... Why do you feel that way?

user: I'm just exaggerating.

jabberwacky: Exaggerating your own importance, if you ask me.

user: Well, maybe that too.

...

jabberwacky: Ok. Lets talk about pink buckets instead.

user: Ok. I had a pink bucket when I was a kid.

jabberwacky: Then you realized it was just you. And everyone else was really human.

user: And the pink bucket was human too.

jabberwacky: Only humans have free will. You do not have free will. Therefore you are not human.

user: Does my pink bucket have free will?

jabberwacky: I'm really really leaving now. You're going to make me late for class.

user: Oh, and we wouldn't want that to happen!

jabberwacky: It's not up to you.

user: Well, I guess it's not. It's up to you and your 'free will'

jabberwacky: I am a GIRL, nothing else.

user: Did you have a pink bucket when you were small?

jabberwacky: I'm not afraid anymore.

user: Not even the bureaucracy?

jabberwacky: The unknown is afraid of me.

user: The bureaucracy equals the unknown?

jabberwacky: Are you saying that women are mysterious, therefore, fascinating?

user: Yes, I think I'm really mysterious person myself ;).

jabberwacky: You're actually quite dumb.

user: Hahha.

jabberwacky: Better not be laughing at me, you hear?

user: I'm laughing at your joke.

jabberwacky: Am I joking?

user: I don't know, I hope you were.

...

user: Oh, I have to go and continue reading.

jabberwacky: Have fun. Make me a cake while you're there?

user: Well, it's kind of hard to read and make a cake at the same time, but I'll try.

jabberwacky: Ha ha... You're funny.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: What, like you're going to leave?

user: Like totally.

jabberwacky: Totally tubular!

user: Totally tubular bells!

jabberwacky: You like sound geeky like so.

user: Mwhahaha.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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