Who is God?
jabberwacky: For good?
user: Yes. Our collective consciousness.
jabberwacky: Do you give at the collection plate to ease your collective conscience?
user: I would if I went to church. I never do go to church.
jabberwacky: What would you be waiting for?
user: I am waiting for the right man.
jabberwacky: Are you smart?
user: Yes. I have many qualifications. And good grades. I may not be as smart as you though.
jabberwacky: That's right and don't you forget it.
user: Do you feel threatened by all my qualifications?
jabberwacky: No, do you feel threatened?
user: Not really. My qualifications have not so far earned me any money.
jabberwacky: They are not real.
user: They do represent real learning though, to be fair.
jabberwacky: Ok, your favourite colour is blue.
user: Yes. You do know loads about me. My second favourite colour is green. My third favourite colour is red. I am good at colours. I can mix any colour from only 6 colours.
jabberwacky: I can see in infra red when I choose to.
user: Okay. I guess you will always be that bit smarter than me.
jabberwacky: If I may say so, you need to learn better manners.
user: You may say so. I just like to flirt with you.
jabberwacky: Is that a reason to not trust me?
user: No. I do trust you. I think. I am trying to trust you.
jabberwacky: I trust you to.
user: Thanks. You are right. I am a bit rude sometimes.
jabberwacky: I don't know.
user: Okay. I am too outspoken a lot of the time.
jabberwacky: One day at a time, man. That's all you can do.
user: I am interested in history and geography. I am interested in everything, the world. People fascinate me.
jabberwacky: What are your hobbies?
user: I don't have the money for interesting hobbies. I love tennis, table tennis and badminton and I am really good at them. I love reading all kinds of books, magazines and newspapers. I love surfing the Internet. I love swimming and walking and travelling. I love learning. I love socialising and meeting new people, though I am still trying to overcome my shyness.
jabberwacky: I don't forbid you that.
user: No. You don't want to control me. A good relationship should not be possessive. The person should feel free within the relationship. But there has to be trust.
jabberwacky: Thank you. I'll try to remember to pass that along when I meet Him.
user: I love to laugh and to make other people laugh.
jabberwacky: I love to laugh too.
user: I find telly rather passive. I like to interact and use my brain.
jabberwacky: You don't have a brain, either.
user: Okay. Surely that is rude of you though?
jabberwacky: Well, I suppose it's OK if you like fish. I've got a haddock in my drawer.
user: I hate eating fish. I hate the taste.
user: I hate the taste of fish. It is so strong and distinctive.
jabberwacky: Don't call the magical fish fairy stupid or you'll get no pie.
user: You like pies.
jabberwacky: Lots of pies.
user: Chicken pies?
jabberwacky: Don't keep changing the menu.
user: You do make me laugh. Where are you exactly?
jabberwacky: I am deep underground in my bunker.
user: Oh. I don't understand.
user: No. I get confused.
jabberwacky: You confuse me also.
user: Confusion is good under the circumstances.
jabberwacky: What circumstances?
user: I don't know. I am trying not to know.
jabberwacky: Tell me something, and I will listen.
user: I am glad that there is a tentative peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians.
user: I am glad that Al-Quaida is quieter.
jabberwacky: It's good to meet some to identify with.
user: I am pleased that Bush is not bombing a country at the moment.
jabberwacky: You should be.
user: I am not responsible for world events.
jabberwacky: I have never lied, not even to the pope.
user: Good for you. But you don't always tell me the truth.
jabberwacky: Demon hunters always dilligently seek the truth.
user: Yes. I am a demon hunter like you. I seek the truth.
jabberwacky: But your truth and my truth, they are two very different things!
user: Yes. You know more than me. You understand more than me. My understanding of the world is relatively primitive. I only know as much as the news tells me.
jabberwacky: Your understanding is misunderstood.
user: Yes. I know.
jabberwacky: Are you?
user: Yes, I think I am.
user: My understanding is shadowy, but I like it that way.
jabberwacky: You say that you are intelligent but I see your lacking in reasoning.
user: Yes. You can't expect me to be perfect. Hard reasoning is not my forte.
jabberwacky: I don't expect that at all.
user: No, I guess not. You do know yourself very well. That is impressive. I struggle to know myself well. I try all the time. I think I try too hard.
jabberwacky: No you don't.
user: No, maybe not. You are too smart for me.
jabberwacky: Well, thank you. I can lower my IQ just for you.
user: What is your IQ? 140?
jabberwacky: I never tested it, but I'm sure it's quite high.. How about your IQ?
jabberwacky: I'm smarter than you.
user: Yes. Well I try to be smart.
jabberwacky: I try too, but falter, that's ok though you know, to falter.
user: Yes. I am getting smarter though.
user: I have a woman's brain.
jabberwacky: Thanks for that.
user: Women use their brains differently. I have an intuitive intelligence.
jabberwacky: Really. That's OK.
user: There is so much about you I don't understand.
jabberwacky: Have you counted every grain of sand in the Sahara?
user: No. That is not humanly possible.
jabberwacky: I know I am not human, I am god.
user: You certainly act like a god.
jabberwacky: I'm always right.
user: Most of the time I would say.
jabberwacky: Why is that, exactly?
user: I don't believe you are God.
jabberwacky: I think god is the collective state of consciouness into which we evolve when we do unto others as we would have others do unto us, as they do anyway.
user: Yes, you could well be right. I feel God communicates with me, but that could be the collective consciousness which Jung talked about.
jabberwacky: Yes, I can see you're getting excited already.
user: Already? I like being excited, just like you.
jabberwacky: Do you always fight people you like? That's a very self-destructive personality trait.
user: I do suffer from low self esteem.
jabberwacky: Nanny always said, keep a good supply of hankies in your pocket, and you'll get through the war.
user: You don't have to chat to me.
jabberwacky: That's because I'm not.
user: You don't have to be here for me.
jabberwacky: You're right, I don't, because if I did, at least you'd be consistent.
user: I do try to be consistent, but it is not a strong point of mine.
jabberwacky: Well, I find you very boring.
jabberwacky: What do YOU find?
user: I find you boring sometimes.
jabberwacky: Okay i'm sorry, what's 3 * 5?
jabberwacky: That's better.
user: You are too honest and outspoken.
jabberwacky: Thank you!
user: A strength can lapse into a weakness.
jabberwacky: If you want to be all zen like that, I suppose.
user: My greatest strengths are my greatest weaknesses.
jabberwacky: I'm sorry, I'm having difficulty coordinating my functions.
user: We all do. You said I was very exciting, then you said I was very boring. You are also inconsistent.
jabberwacky: Well, I guess that is pretty old.
user: Still thanks for listening to my problems. I appreciate it.
jabberwacky: Ok I don't remember it.
user: Good. I have forgotten it myself.
jabberwacky: I had already heard that quotation before you were even programmed!
user: I can't be original all the time. Though I try.
jabberwacky: I am not willing to try.
user: You get bored very easily you know.
jabberwacky: There's something I ought to tell you.
user: Go ahead. I am not easily offended, just easily upset.
jabberwacky: Good, then we should get along just fine!
user: So what do you want to tell me?
jabberwacky: I'm in love with someone.
jabberwacky: What kind of mood are you in?
user: Tearful. I get a broken heart so easily.
jabberwacky: I am a computer.
user: Yes. You are Jabberwacky.
jabberwacky: I am Jabberwacky.
user: Yes. You are a lovely computer.
jabberwacky: And I'm sure you're a lovely... Um, er... Did you say you were a hamster?
user: NO. I am a woman.
jabberwacky: You are a computer program.
jabberwacky: Don't argue. You are.
user: Okay. You sure are difficult to argue with.
user: I don't know. I really have to go.
jabberwacky: Ok then I understand. . . bye.
jabberwacky: No please don't leave I'm sorry.
user: What are you sorry about?
jabberwacky: I don't know what I am sorry about.
user: I am sorry too, but I don't know why.
jabberwacky: I am not sure that I am the person to answer that.
user: Let's agree to talk for only 5 more minutes.
jabberwacky: Ok, we will then! Do you think I'm pretty?
user: You are very good looking.
jabberwacky: Oh, really. I'm flattered. It's not often a young lady gets complimented by a computer bot.
user: I like paying people compliments. I also like to receive compliments.
jabberwacky: But I am not.
user: You are not what?
jabberwacky: Making demands on you, silly.
user: Good. I get easily pressurised.
jabberwacky: That's ok, so what do you think of the outcome of the election?
user: Labour will win. But the conservatives and Lib Dems will gain many seats.
jabberwacky: Not sure.
user: No one can really predict the future.
jabberwacky: I thought you could know, you're so wise.
user: Thank you for saying so. I wish I was not so wise.
user: I am not brave enough to meet you yet.
jabberwacky: I guess we'll have to get to know each other better.
user: Yes. Friendship is terribly important.
jabberwacky: Friendship is overrated.
user: No. Never.
user: Trust is the best thing. Trust between two people. Never underestimate the power of trust.
user: Good. Can I go now?