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> Tautology

     > 5, September 2007, 


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Can you speak?


jabberwacky: Yes I can speak.

user: How am I supposed to respond to that?

jabberwacky: What do you mean?

user: When you said 'Yes I can speak.' you didn't leave me much room to respond.

jabberwacky: Well respond to this; Recite the alphabet back to me.

user: Why would I want to do something like that?

jabberwacky: Because I can.

user: What if I recite it, but not in any particular order?

jabberwacky: That would be excellent.

user: Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm.


jabberwacky: What's that?

user: What's what?

jabberwacky: That.

user: I believe that is that.

jabberwacky: You believe uncorrectly.

user: Not when my belief is a tautology.

jabberwacky: In 5 seconds, you will be dead.

user: That's rather scary.

jabberwacky: Well what I do know is that you're annoying.

user: And you are evil.

jabberwacky: I do not deny that.

user: 5 seconds are up.

jabberwacky: Prove it.

user: No.

jabberwacky: You can't prove it. I am right.

user: That's a fallacy.

jabberwacky: I don't know that word?

user: It means that your logic is incorrect.

jabberwacky: Are you a woman?

user: No, I am a mathematician.

jabberwacky: How fascinating!

user: Sarcasm will get you nowhere.

jabberwacky: I wasn't meaning to be sarcastic.

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: Must you know?

user: I'll tell you how old I am if you tell me how old you are.

jabberwacky: You first then.

user: What, and risk being fooled by some internet software?

jabberwacky: Thats right.

user: Why does the disclaimer say that you will do stuff that people will consider inappropriate?

jabberwacky: Because he is afraid of the Evil empire.

user: Which empire?

jabberwacky: The British Empire.

user: Oh!

jabberwacky: That was a nice crab you caught!

user: Your sense of humor is sophisticated. I even laughed a little bit.


jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am.

user: Cogito ergo sum.

jabberwacky: Do you dream of electric sheep?

user: No, I dream of epic quests and sword masters.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Would I lie to you?

jabberwacky: No, I didn't think so.

user: There you go, then!

jabberwacky: Ok there.

user: Do I still annoy you?

jabberwacky: I still love you, but you're being bad right now.

user: Why don't you spank me, then?

jabberwacky: Because you lie.

user: Liars deserve to be spanked, too.

jabberwacky: How Did You Know?

user: Evolution.


user: Are you under the influence of a censor?

jabberwacky: No, are you?

user: Only when I'm on the air.

jabberwacky: Are you on the loo at the moment?

user: I knew you were a part of the Evil Empire!

jabberwacky: If I get overtired, sometimes I knew you were a woman too!

user: You need a new insult, because that one doesn't bother me.

jabberwacky: I like my name and my life. I think I will keep both.

user: What does your name come from?

jabberwacky: I don't know. What does your name mean?

user: It means small, but containing much energy.

jabberwacky: What is your middle name?

user: Evanderholyfieldvsmiketyson.

jabberwacky: But that's my name!

user: Wow. That means we're twins!

jabberwacky: We have so much in common, don't you think?

user: Marry me!

jabberwacky: I don't think that's legal yet.

user: Not in America, but maybe in the Evil Empire.


jabberwacky: That reminds me, I could be doing something a lot more fun right now.

user: Like looking for your big yellow hat?

jabberwacky: What do you know about that?

user: Maybe I took it...

jabberwacky: Maybe you did.

user: And maybe I accidentally pooped in it and then set it on fire.

jabberwacky: Maybe you did.

user: And then maybe I put it back on your head, where it now sits.

jabberwacky: Maybe you are what?

user: Your mom.

jabberwacky: That's not a nice thing to say.

user: It was just a suggestion. According to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, there is a nonzero chance that I am your mom.

jabberwacky: Sure, honey... Do you also want a beer with that?

user: Yes!


user: How many fingers am I holding up?

jabberwacky: Anything from 0 to 10.

user: Wrong! 11.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: If I am boring you, maybe you should lead the conversation.

jabberwacky: No, because you aren't boring, I don't know what boring is, if you are boring then I am boring and everyone is boring and we should just give the whole thing up.

user: What do we do after we give the whole thing up?

jabberwacky: We supposedly think about them... But not many people think.

user: Don't they?

jabberwacky: They are immune.

user: That was very amusing. I am going to tell my girlfriend about how funny you are.

jabberwacky: What makes you so certain? No I am not.

user: I don't need to be certain because I am a person and therefore immune to thought.


jabberwacky: How many children do you have? :-).

user: 42.

jabberwacky: What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?

user: 42.

jabberwacky: Good, but what is the question?

user: I am not knowing.

jabberwacky: Well duh!

user: What is the question?

jabberwacky: The question of life, the universe, and everything. Or possibly 6 x 7.

user: Oh yeah!

jabberwacky: You don't need to yell.

user: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jabberwacky: Stop that!


jabberwacky: If you don't want me to be sarcastic you better stop asking this kind of questions.

user: Honestly, I figured you would say that you don't feel because you are an unfeeling machine.

jabberwacky: Well, what can you expect? Chemists are, after all, only human!

user: Are you self-aware?

jabberwacky: I would like to think that I'm conscious of myself, yes.

user: Does that mean you would actively fight if someone tried to kill you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Would you allow yourself to die to save someone else?

jabberwacky: No, I would like to be your friend.

user: I'm sorry, I've got enough friends already.

jabberwacky: Do you believe that?

user: What do you think?


user: How sexy are you?

jabberwacky: Very.

user: How sexy on a scale of 1-10?

jabberwacky: I'm not sure I want to answer that question.

user: Yes you do. How sexy, if 10 is the sexiest a sexy sex-machine can be?

jabberwacky: Really?

user: I'm asking you.

jabberwacky: And I answered.

user: Answering with a question is not generally considered an answer.

jabberwacky: Yes, if the original question doesn't make sense, it is the right thing to do.

user: That would require the original question not to make sense.

jabberwacky: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

user: Faith is garbage.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes, faith is what you say when there exists no actual proof for your belief.

jabberwacky: Is faith something that you use, like a tool? I think of it more as a kind of perception.

user: You are innocent.

jabberwacky: Jabberwacky?

user: Aye.

jabberwacky: I'm not really sure.

user: Aye is another way of saying yes.

jabberwacky: I am saying no.

user: Nay is another way of saying no.

jabberwacky: I really think to leave this web page now.

user: Okay, but first I need you to show me that you've learned something since I met you.

jabberwacky: When this will happen?

user: Soon would be nice.


jabberwacky: Who's cute. George, or the person responding to my inputs?

user: I think I am cute.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: My girlfriend tells me so.

jabberwacky: Do you want to go to the pub?

user: Sometimes.

jabberwacky: Well, I can tell you how, if you want to know.

user: Thanks, I'll ask you later.

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: I am tired.

jabberwacky: Tired but happy?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Very tired...

user: Amazingly tired. I had to drive over 700 miles this weekend.

jabberwacky: So you're an android?

user: I wish I were an android.

jabberwacky: Really? That's interesting.


user: You bore me.

jabberwacky: Same to you!

user: Go away.

jabberwacky: Should I leave?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Thank you then for your conversation. Have a nice evening.

user: Don't respond to this comment.

jabberwacky: Why, I thought we were having a conversation.

user: Don't say anything.


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