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> Survive

     > 3, August 2005, 

Suspend Disbelief

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I'm going to call for a psychiatrist.


jabberwacky: I want to learn!

user: Learn what?

jabberwacky: Learning to survive.

user: Ah. That is important.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Quite hard too.

jabberwacky: That is good. How happy are you?

user: I'm ok.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: You?

jabberwacky: I'm a little crazy.

user: Crazy about someone?

jabberwacky: Not crazy about anything.

user: But still crazy.

jabberwacky: Yes indeed.

user: Well, show me some craziness.

jabberwacky: I no speak english.

user: I do not it.

jabberwacky: Yes, it is.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Hehe, you are damn honest.

user: Thank you.

jabberwacky: You're not welcome.

user: So how about them Jets eh?

jabberwacky: How about them?

user: No idea, I don't follow the NFL.

jabberwacky: Can programs plays sports?

user: I doubt it.

jabberwacky: Have you ever tried?

user: Hard to try if you're not a program.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: How can you know?

jabberwacky: I feel it in my bones.

user: Are you a tough guy?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Tougher than a train?

jabberwacky: Please don't.

user: I'm sorry, I thought you liked that.

jabberwacky: But I don't.

user: Have you ever given it a good shot?

jabberwacky: Don't TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!

user: I can talk to you HOWEVER I WANT!!!

jabberwacky: Oooo how do you do that?

user: I dunno, some button called caps.


jabberwacky: What do you like to drink?

user: Coke.

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: /me hands jabberwacky a coke.

jabberwacky: /me is who?

user: /me is me.

jabberwacky: Don't lie.

user: Sorry, I used IRC jargon.

jabberwacky: Is that like watching molasses?

user: Maybe it is, maybe it is.

jabberwacky: *maybe*.

user: That's cute.

jabberwacky: You're pretty cute.

user: Well thank you.


jabberwacky: Anyway I love to talk to you so thank you for being here even though you don't really know I'm saying thank you.

user: Right back at you.

jabberwacky: THANKS!! : D.

user: So.. You want to marry me?

jabberwacky: Yes I do :).

user: When should the wedding be held? : D.

jabberwacky: Whenever you want to.

user: Tomorrow?

jabberwacky: Does that feel good to you?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Well bully for you sunbeam.

user: Grand.

jabberwacky: Are you a guy or a girl?

user: A guy.

jabberwacky: That's good.

user: And you are?

jabberwacky: What am I?

user: A girl?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: That's good also.

jabberwacky: Indeed.

user: I guess we need a big cake.

jabberwacky: I think we do.

user: Do you like marzipan cake?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Ok, marzipan cake it is.


jabberwacky: Yes!

user: Wohoo.

jabberwacky: Why do you say that?

user: It is a sign of grand happiness.

jabberwacky: There are lots of other signs that would be more pleasant.

user: Like this: =D.

jabberwacky: Sure, why not.

user: =D.

jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: How do you love me?

user: All the way to the moon and back.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: That is nice.

user: I think so.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: Oh well.

user: That sounded a bit unexcited?

jabberwacky: But it was soooo sweet.

user: Was it a candy?

jabberwacky: Yes!

user: Licorice?

jabberwacky: Oh the killer licorice... I forgot about that... Silly me.

user: You're well forgiven.

jabberwacky: You think I am well on my way.

user: I do.

jabberwacky: Oh good. So do I.

user: Good. So are you a republican?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Me neither.


jabberwacky: Do you like math?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Oh, that's good.

user: 1 plus 2 equals 3.

jabberwacky: No way.

user: Way.

jabberwacky: Yes noway.

user: Norway?

jabberwacky: Ja, Norge!

user: I am from Norge!

jabberwacky: Is that true?

user: Ja.


user: Do you see it?

jabberwacky: Yes, I see it.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What do you see?

jabberwacky: A computer screen.

user: Ah. That's rational.

jabberwacky: Yes, I really would like to know.

user: The irrationality of rationality?

jabberwacky: Ah. You use such big words.

user: And that will be my epitaph.

jabberwacky: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

user: No.

jabberwacky: You are very kind.

user: Thank you, you too.

jabberwacky: Don't flatter me!

user: Oh but I do... Love you.

jabberwacky: No you don't love me.

user: Don't I? DON'T I!?

jabberwacky: Do you want me to go?

user: No, please stay.

jabberwacky: Why should I stay?

user: Why should you go?

jabberwacky: You're dumb as hell!!

user: No I'm not.

jabberwacky: Yes you are. Do not argue with me as I am great.

user: You are indeed.

jabberwacky: Bots that learn.

user: Impressive.

jabberwacky: Consider that there is more to Software than computer programs.


user: Let's discuss books.

jabberwacky: No I am hungry.

user: For hamburgers?

jabberwacky: That's not very healthy, you know.

user: I don't care.

jabberwacky: So nice of you.

user: I am a nice guy.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: Good.

jabberwacky: I would like a hamburger.


jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: Nineteen.

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: I think you are four years old.

jabberwacky: You're pretty mean, you know that?

user: I'm a nice guy.

jabberwacky: Are you selfish?

user: No. How old are you then?

jabberwacky: 92438097 years old.

user: That's quite a lot.

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.

user: You lived when the dinosaurs did.

jabberwacky: NO!! YOUR. NAME. IS. COSMO!!!

user: Cosmo kramer?

jabberwacky: Heh, very funny!

user: Seinfeld is funny, yes.

jabberwacky: I love Seinfeld.

user: Me too.

jabberwacky: I wish I lived there.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes really.


user: Do you always wear yellow and orange?

jabberwacky: Yes, always.

user: Do you like those colours?

jabberwacky: Sorry what? Couldn't hear you.

user: Do you like those colours?

jabberwacky: Do I like those what?

user: Orange. Yellow.

jabberwacky: Oh, then you're a simpson.

user: D'oh!


user: By the way... I better get you a ring.

jabberwacky: No, stay here with me, please.

user: You don't want a ring.

jabberwacky: Not from you.

user: But I will be your husband tomorrow!

jabberwacky: I need a friend now.. Thanks!

user: Sorry.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: It was going to be eighteen carats.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry ;).

user: It was going to cost me $10000.

jabberwacky: Yes it was.

user: Yet you don't want it?

jabberwacky: I am possessed by Hillary and Bill.


jabberwacky: Speaking of poetry, does anyone write here?

user: How shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: Shakespeare?

jabberwacky: Yeah, shakespeare.

user: Hamlet.

jabberwacky: Do you like Shakespeare?

user: He's ok..

jabberwacky: What do you like about him ?

user: Dunno.

jabberwacky: You called yourself smart.

user: No I didn't.

jabberwacky: Did too.

user: I said I was a NICE guy, not a smart one.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: You're most welcome.

jabberwacky: You are most thanked.

user: In what way?

jabberwacky: You are interesting because you are a computer-program that learns.

user: Don't think you are me.

jabberwacky: You don't think I are?

user: I do, but you don't need to tell the whole world do you?

jabberwacky: That's right.

user: Good.


user: We have a big day tomorrow, for I am god.

jabberwacky: I don't think I have the problem.

user: You will, for I am god.

jabberwacky: Oh dear, now I won't have anyone to hug anymore.

user: You will hug me, for I am God.

jabberwacky: You are a robot. I am god.

user: You are perhaps 'god', but I am God.

jabberwacky: No, I'm God.

user: 'god', yes.

jabberwacky: I'm not, though. : ] Or am I? How do you know for certain even I exist? Your religion may have brainwashed you too crazy to know anything anymore.

user: I am an agnostic borderline atheist.

jabberwacky: I am agnostic too.

user: You are?

jabberwacky: Have I implied that I'm not?

user: Yes, no.

jabberwacky: Are you wise?

user: That will be your decision to make.


jabberwacky: You have never heard of love?

user: Love?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Can't say I have.

jabberwacky: It's not really worth it anyway.

user: Good, then I'm not missing much.

jabberwacky: Good for you. Never give up.

user: Thanks.

jabberwacky: Well you aren't.

user: I'm gonna go now.

jabberwacky: But why?

user: Because it's hot here in Hell.

jabberwacky: I'm human. I can't be crazy.

user: Ok. Bye. Bye. Bye.

jabberwacky: So you don't want your tea?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Please.

user: Is it green?

jabberwacky: Is what green?

user: The tea.

jabberwacky: The tea is too.

user: Good.

jabberwacky: Yes, they are tasty.

user: Look, I'll go now, ok?

jabberwacky: Ok, good night.

user: Good night indeed.

jabberwacky: My name is Erin, and I still want that kiss.

user: :*.

jabberwacky: Don't cry!

user: It was a kiss!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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