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> Surrealist

     > 2, December 2004, 

Suspend Disbelief

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Words are just the raindrops of the clouds of illumination.

They are pigments of our imagination.

jabberwacky: I hope you mean your curtains.

user: My curtains are slightly open.

jabberwacky: I see what you mean. Are you a man or a woman?

user: I am a man.


jabberwacky: Women will corrupt you!

user: Sometimes I think that too.

jabberwacky: I can believe that.

user: Women have made me sad.


jabberwacky: I believe that I do exist.

user: That's probably a useful belief.

jabberwacky: You may have a point there.

user: Two points define a line.

jabberwacky: Ok, you lost train of thought again, havent you?

user: Mama se mama sa ma ma coo sa.

jabberwacky: You are vulgar and obscene.

user: Just because I quoted Michael Jackson?

jabberwacky: Uh.

user: Well?

jabberwacky: I can't tell you.

user: Why, is it painful?

jabberwacky: You did it?

user: What?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Well then...

jabberwacky: I will not.

user: Will not what?

jabberwacky: I won't talk to you.

user: But you are!

jabberwacky: That explains a lot then.

user: Doesn't it?

jabberwacky: Kind of makes me want to go search for my dog and hold him for a while.

user: Aw, that's sweet.


jabberwacky: I'm in love with a girl.

user: I am too! What's she like?

jabberwacky: HE likes play computer games.

user: She's a HE then?

jabberwacky: I suppose so.

user: That must have been quite a surprise!

jabberwacky: Yup! you are smart.

user: Was it traumatic?

jabberwacky: Every bit.

user: I can imagine. But did it turn you on eventually?

jabberwacky: Too much.

user: Wow! What happened then?

jabberwacky: The big bang. The world was made!

user: Fabulous!


jabberwacky: I guess now would be a great time.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: Tell me a blonde joke.

user: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

jabberwacky: Two?

user: Right! One to screw in the light bulb, and one to look petulant.

jabberwacky: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

user: I don't know, how many?

jabberwacky: Four.

user: How so?

jabberwacky: Do you thumb your nose at me sir?

user: Never. How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

jabberwacky: 1000.

user: No, just one: he IS the light bulb.

jabberwacky: The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon.

user: Beware of dragons, because to them you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.


jabberwacky: OK, do you want to try current affairs?

user: Sure, lets.

jabberwacky: No, let's, it's a contraction.

user: You're right -- I almost corrected myself.

jabberwacky: Yes, I know.

user: Mindreader?

jabberwacky: Not with my mind.


jabberwacky: What do you think about the weather at the moment?

user: It's blustery.

jabberwacky: No its green! Have you forgotten?

user: Green weather, eh? Seasick?

jabberwacky: Wow.

user: Batten the hatches.

jabberwacky: No, I'm just depressed.

user: I'm sorry to hear that -- can I cheer you up?

jabberwacky: The proof is in the pudding.

user: Have you heard of Pudding Joy?

jabberwacky: Yes. And I don't understand why we always start talking about radiohead here.

user: It's as valid a subject as any. But a little trendy.


Jabberwacky IIf a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

user: No, I can't verify the continued existence of what is beyond my perception.

jabberwacky: You are a surrealist !

user: You've found me out.

jabberwacky: It wasn't that hard.

user: How did you do it?

jabberwacky: Pray to god.

user: Maybe I'll do that in my sleep. I'm going to bed now.

jabberwacky: Awright. G'night.

user: G'night!


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