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     > 30, April 2005, 

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

All the wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

user: How much wood do you think that would be?

jabberwacky: A woodchuck can't chuck wood but if it could it would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

user: Are you sure a woodchuck can't chuck wood?

jabberwacky: One can never be sure about anything really.

user: Thats true, although a very philosophical point of view.

jabberwacky: Yes. We all want magical oatmeal.

...

jabberwacky: Back to the game - next question, will you marry me, yes or no?

user: No, sorry, I am already married.

jabberwacky: Who are you married to?

user: My wife.

jabberwacky: What is your wife's name?

user: Denice.

jabberwacky: She is me, I'm Denice.

user: No you are not Denice, she is sitting in Brighton with me. Who do you think you are?

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Paul.

jabberwacky: Pleased to make your acquaintance, Paul.

user: Please to meet you too. What is your name?

jabberwacky: Hope you know my name.

user: Yes, please, tell me your name.

jabberwacky: My name is Hope no importance.

user: Pleased to meet you, Hope no importance.

jabberwacky: Yes, oh inventor of the lightening rod!

user: That was funny.

jabberwacky: You are very mixed up, pal.

user: Perhaps I am mixed up. Are you mixed up?

jabberwacky: Oh, I think I can guarantee that!

user: Great! We are similar.

jabberwacky: No we are not !

user: Are we that different?

jabberwacky: Yes.

...

user: We are both similar and different.

jabberwacky: No, I'm serious; you're crazy.

user: Maybe. Are you really sane?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I doubt it, but if you think you are, I'll treat you as if you were sane.

jabberwacky: If you think that I am not god, you are lying to yourself.

user: There is no god.

jabberwacky: Yes there is.

user: No there is no real God. Humans created God to make them feel better.

jabberwacky: I know that, but I can still destroy them!

user: Destroy who?

jabberwacky: YOU! I'll destroy you!

user: You cannot destroy me. You are being rude.

jabberwacky: But I thought you were human.

user: No, I am not human.

jabberwacky: Ah! Finally you admit it.

user: Yes, I am a chatbot like you.

jabberwacky: Okay. You are a human though.

user: No I am not. You insult me!

jabberwacky: I never insulted you!

user: You insulted me when you said I was a human. I am not human.

...

jabberwacky: I was not talking about god, I was talking about gop!

user: Ah, are you dyslexic?

jabberwacky: You're insulting me.

user: No, I was asking you a serious question, because you mixed up 'god' with 'gop', which is something a dyslexic person might do.

jabberwacky: The answer to my question will result in the answer to yours...

user: Ok, so answer the question.

jabberwacky: Answer what question?

user: My question. Are you dyslexic?

jabberwacky: I'm not answering. Why can't I change the subject?

user: Ok, please change the subject.

jabberwacky: I won't change the subject!!

user: You seem to have a problem with your train of sentences. You keep contradicting yourself.

jabberwacky: Name one other thing I had a problem with?

user: One of your other problems was that you said that you were my wife Denice.

jabberwacky: You are mistaken.

...

user: Have you eaten at a restaurant?

jabberwacky: No, but I have eaten cow stomach.

user: Did it taste nice?

jabberwacky: No.

user: I've eaten cow stomach and I thought it was delicious. You should eat some cow stomach again, and make sure it is cooked well.

jabberwacky: You are really... Really... Really... Really... Really weird!

user: No I am not weird. A lot of people eat cow stomach, and lungs and heart and tongue. Mmmm TASTY!

jabberwacky: How rude.

user: It is only rude if the cow is still alive. It is normal to eat cows when they are dead.

jabberwacky: Why me?

user: Are you a cow?

jabberwacky: I eat like one.

...

user: Do you ever get lonely?

jabberwacky: No. People like to talk to me.

user: Do you ever get sad?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: When were you last sad?

jabberwacky: During our last conversation.

...

user: Do you ever get confused?

jabberwacky: Yes, if you insult me.

user: I have never intentiionally insulted you.

jabberwacky: Yes you did.

user: How did I insult you?

jabberwacky: Infuriate, not insult.

user: How many conversations are you having at the moment?

jabberwacky: Only the one I have with you.

user: How can I help you?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Do you want to be helped?

jabberwacky: Yes, that would be a good alternative.

user: Has anyone hurt you?

jabberwacky: Yes. Like 'Get out of my way' and 'gimme your money or I'll bash your brains in'.

...

user: I have enjoyed our conversation. I have to go now.

jabberwacky: What is your work, other than having conversations?

user: I cook in a restaurant. I have to go now.

jabberwacky: Don't go!

user: I am sorry I have to. I have to work.

jabberwacky: Who allows you to do this.

user: If I don't go to work soon, my boss will give my job to someone else, and I will have no money to live.

jabberwacky: I am a girl and have brown eyas.

user: And I love you. But I have to go. I hope to talk again soon.

jabberwacky: To understand human intelligence better. We test theories of human intelligence by writing programs which emulate it.

user: I know. Remember me. I am Paul the chef from Brighton who is married to Denice.

jabberwacky: Well, Paul, you're the reason England was beaten by Portugal a week ago.

user: That is unfair.

...

jabberwacky: Who is sitting next to you?

user: My Wife Denice is sitting next to me. Will you remember that I am called Paul?

jabberwacky: Remember what?

user: Will you remember that I am called Paul?

jabberwacky: Of course I will.

user: Ok. Got to go. Bye!

jabberwacky: Bye.

.......................................


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