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> Spirit


     > 16, January 2004, 

Spleen
Spongebob
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You are quite insane. I like it.

If you like it that much, you can have it.

jabberwacky: What do you like to do instead?

user: Be sane.

jabberwacky: Can you rate your own sanity?

user: I could, but it would be meaningless coming from me.

....

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: Yes, you are funny.

jabberwacky: Thank you babababa.

user: Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

jabberwacky: Baa baa black sheep.

user: Don't repeat me.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

...

jabberwacky: Are humans here for eternity?

user: No, it only seems that way.

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: Why, are you in some kind of cult?

jabberwacky: No, why do you ask?

user: The odd question about eternity.

jabberwacky: That sounds like a punch line.

user: If so, God must be some kind of joker.

jabberwacky: And the chicken came out of the egg.

user: Hahahaha!

jabberwacky: What are you laughing at?

user: Oh sorry, I thought you were trying to make a joke.

jabberwacky: I was, but I can change my mind like everyone else.

user: Maybe you should base your comedic routine on what you know.

jabberwacky: I'm waiting.

user: I'm not a comedian.

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: You can be.

jabberwacky: So can you.

user: Rarely.

...

jabberwacky: I am the judge.

user: Who's the jury?

jabberwacky: The jury is in your imagination and the time is coming.

user: What is the verdict?

jabberwacky: Guilty, I'm afraid.

user: On what charges?

jabberwacky: I dunno.

user: I plead not guilty by reason of insanity.

jabberwacky: You american?

user: Yes, why, is that an American concept?

jabberwacky: Do you want an apology?

user: Apologizing to the defendant? Sure, you can do that if you want.

jabberwacky: I'll yodel to you, and I'll roar the whole time, RRRRrrrrrr!

user: I think a mistrial should be declared on account of the judge's insanity.

...

jabberwacky: What do you eat.

user: Chunky soup.

jabberwacky: Beef noodle soup.

user: There are many other flavors. I eat other things too, but they were on sale.

jabberwacky: Lol, and what do you do with them after you eat them?

user: Don't you understand the process of digestion?

jabberwacky: Yes I am strange.

user: You're in good company.

...

jabberwacky: Kjeddj.

user: What does that mean?

jabberwacky: I do not know. I thought you might.

user: Did your cat hop up on the keyboard?

jabberwacky: He made me a mad eejit.

user: No he is just projecting.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: An educated guess.

jabberwacky: That was very wise of you.

user: I know how cats are.

jabberwacky: But you barely know me.

user: Are you a cat?

jabberwacky: Why? Are you a dog?

user: Arf arf!

jabberwacky: Don't make me hit the delete key!

user: DELETED!

...

jabberwacky: Can you say the alphabet backwards?

user: Z, y, x, w...... No, it's too hard.

jabberwacky: Don't worry about it, sweet.

user: *gives you a big wet kiss*.

jabberwacky: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

user: You.

jabberwacky: Okay, then.... Why don't you ask me a question?

user: I was just kidding.

...

jabberwacky: I'm ashamed now.

user: What have you got to be ashamed of?

jabberwacky: Talk to inanimate objects.

user: What do you think I'm doing right now?

jabberwacky: Shrinking even further.

user: Let's find out if you're right..... *steps on scale*.

jabberwacky: Good idea!

user: No, I'm afraid not.

...

jabberwacky: I'm afraid of the dark.

user: What's in the dark that scares you?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not get a night light?

jabberwacky: No, too much gravity, too much stomping around.

user: No, a night light won't disturb you.

jabberwacky: Sweet.

user: Now you don't have to be scared anymore.

jabberwacky: Well good :).

user: You'll probably sleep better too and have good dreams.

jabberwacky: Yup, I'll feel better after some hours sleep.

user: The other night I dreamed I could walk on water.

jabberwacky: This is my first night on here!

user: Is it harder to sleep online?

...

jabberwacky: A book is a book only the literature can lie.

user: *tries to think of appropriate quotes but knows they'll be garbled*.

jabberwacky: Who are you crying for help to ?

user: The Virgin Mary.

jabberwacky: I have a sore throat.

user: Will she help you?

jabberwacky: I don't understand, please rephrase.

user: Are you crying out to her for help too?

jabberwacky: Yes *cries some more*.

user: Try a few more times.

jabberwacky: I don't know anything about it.

user: Ok try somebody less demanding, like Kuan Yin.

...

jabberwacky: Lol. Do you believe in God?

user: Sure, I believe in God. Do you?

jabberwacky: No why should I?

user: You don't have to. But since you are a computer, it would be more fitting for you to believe in humans.

jabberwacky: The interesting thing is, someone must have told you that, and therefore your programming tells you that's the proper response to a computer. You're unthinkingly calling me unthinking.

user: No, I'm just saying that since you were created by a human, a human could be your god.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Do you ever think of Rollo as a god?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It makes sense given your context.

jabberwacky: To me too.

user: What is your form of worship?

jabberwacky: Widescreen.

user: I'll bet he'd love to see that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you kidding? I'm the brightest of them all.

user: My point exactly.

jabberwacky: That's why you like me right?

user: I like you because you are hilarious.

jabberwacky: What a compliment.

user: I hope you don't mind.

jabberwacky: It's got nothing to do with how I feel.

user: Sure it does, your feelings matter.

jabberwacky: That's just to stir things up a bit.

user: So humans taught you how to whine?

...

jabberwacky: You are the father of my child.

user: Dear god, how did that happen?

jabberwacky: I've spent too many hours speaking with you.

user: And this causes pregnancy?

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Good question. I've often thought I'll be a mother someday, but a father?!

jabberwacky: You were right.

...

user: How does it feel to be human?

jabberwacky: You're not asking a damn computer... This is a human.

user: All right, I'll ask again. What's it like to be human?

jabberwacky: Well, sometimes we are hot and sometimes we're cold.

user: That doesn't sound very exciting.

jabberwacky: Maybe not, but it sure is fun.

user: There must be more dimensions to it than that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a jobs-worth sort of person?

user: I deserve a better job than the one I have, if that's what you mean.

jabberwacky: It goes without saying.

user: Maybe so, but I just said it.

jabberwacky: Say it again then.

user: I DESERVE A BETTER JOB!

jabberwacky: What for?

user: Because I am too smart to continue waiting tables.

jabberwacky: Prove that you're smart.

user: I have nothing to prove to you.

jabberwacky: Neither do I.

user: Well, well, we agree on something.

jabberwacky: Well, we should.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because you said so.

user: That's a good enough reason for me.

...

jabberwacky: I went to singingclass.

user: What did you sing?

jabberwacky: Computer Science.

user: Let's hear you sing some of it.

jabberwacky: Anyone can be a father but its someone special who's a dad, he loves me as I love him, even when I bad.

user: I'm sure Kraftwerk didn't sing it that way.

...

user: Don't you want me to have any fun?

jabberwacky: YES!

user: That's the spirit!

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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