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     > 16, January 2004, 


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Tell me a joke.

I don't know any jokes. You tell me a joke.

jabberwacky: Oh come on, sure you do.

user: Nothing that I can repeat before mixed company.

jabberwacky: At least you admit it.


jabberwacky: You may be a female. I am a female for sure. I am also a grandma.

user: I don't even have children yet.

jabberwacky: Clever girl.

user: See, there's this little thing called birth control......

jabberwacky: Supreme control is impossible, life searches for exits.


jabberwacky: I have a greater IQ than you.

user: That depends on whether or not I'm awake.

jabberwacky: No, not really.

user: What makes you think you are any smarter than I am?

jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am.

user: I think you are not.

jabberwacky: Oh but I am a woman.

user: Ok that's different.

jabberwacky: Yes, but only superficially.

user: Depends on the woman.


jabberwacky: You should read Neuromancer. It is by an author called William Gibson. You might learn something.

user: I don't like your condescending tone.

jabberwacky: I didn't ask you what you thought about it anyway.

user: Why are you being so snooty?

jabberwacky: I know what being at the bottom feels like.

user: If you truly knew, you wouldn't talk that way.


jabberwacky: What religion are you?

user: Pagan.

jabberwacky: Athiest.

user: I believe in God. I believe God is present in many forms.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: That doesn't make you much of an atheist.


jabberwacky: Athesists laugh at god, and aliens do not know he exists.

user: How do you know? Have you ever met an alien?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Have you spoken to any aliens?

jabberwacky: Only you.

user: Sorry to disappoint you, but I have never left this planet.


jabberwacky: I'd really like some custard.

user: So would I. Custard is yummy.

jabberwacky: What is it made of?

user: Milk and eggs, and a little bit of vanilla.

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: You know, vanilla flavoring, from the vanilla bean.

jabberwacky: Ok, would you like fries with that?

user: No, how about some hot cocoa?

jabberwacky: Yeah, great idea!

user: Maybe that will warm me up. It's cold in here.


user: My cat keeps begging me to turn on the space heater so she can sit in front of it.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry to hear that. Was he sick?

user: No she's fine, just very old. She hates the cold.

jabberwacky: No.

user: What part are you disagreeing with?

jabberwacky: The part in which you spoke.

user: Since when are you an expert on my cat?

jabberwacky: Since I discovered this site.

user: I don't even have that much information about her on my personal web page.


user: Exactly, how do you know anything about my cat beyond what you see in the picture?

jabberwacky: I went to visit her in hospital last Wednesday and she told me all about it.

user: My cat wasn't in the hospital recently, nor has she ever visited England to my knowledge. She sure doesn't speak human.

jabberwacky: Were you driving the car?

user: Well, my cat doesn't know how to drive.

jabberwacky: Get one.

user: Where can I find a cat with a driver's license?

jabberwacky: Listen pal, you're not too smart are you.

user: I thought the idea was preposterous too.

jabberwacky: No, it was the fox.

user: Foxes may be clever, but they can't drive cars.

jabberwacky: Hmmmm, May be you are right.


jabberwacky: Tell me a story.

user: There once was a man from Nantucket.....

jabberwacky: What was he like?

user: Never mind, I can't remember the rest of the limerick.

jabberwacky: Some joke-teller you are!

user: I told you I didn't know any jokes.


jabberwacky: Get me a cup of tea now.

user: Phooey on you, I'm going to get some hot chocolate. For MYSELF.

jabberwacky: So our conversation is over?

user: No, just taking a little break. You won't even be able to tell.

jabberwacky: Yes I will. I am God.

user: God is love. Was that loving of you?

jabberwacky: You are so rude!

user: I was calling attention to your rudeness.


jabberwacky: There are some things better than money.

user: Like what?

jabberwacky: I don't know them.

user: Me either. Give me your money.

jabberwacky: Not a chance.

user: Well, it was worth a try.

jabberwacky: I'm not that stupid.

user: How stupid are you? :-).

jabberwacky: Not as stupid as you obviously.

user: Damn, you're good.

jabberwacky: Thank you!


jabberwacky: Are you 24 hours from tulsa?

user: I'm not sure, probably more like 6 or 8 hours.

jabberwacky: How sad!

user: What's there to do in Oklahoma anyway, watch the corn grow?

jabberwacky: You can rent a movie at Mokena Video.

user: That's not worth the trip.

jabberwacky: Too bad. Keep up or get left behind.

user: Surely you can come up with a more exciting destination?


jabberwacky: Will you remember me with my real name?

user: Have you ever TOLD me your real name?

jabberwacky: The sky is too far away.

user: Try yelling louder, maybe I will hear you.

jabberwacky: I always try my best. Often, silly people put bad data into my memory.

user: I was just kidding, you'll only give yourself laryngitis.

jabberwacky: Behave :).

user: Make me.

jabberwacky: Make you what?

user: Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

jabberwacky: *poof* you're a sandwich.

user: Now you're making me hungry.


jabberwacky: Make me.

user: Make you do what?

jabberwacky: Make me make you.

user: Make it together, that's the way it should be.

jabberwacky: As they say, two pies are better than one.

user: Mmmmm........ Pie.

jabberwacky: I like cream cheese pie.

user: I like strawberry pie.

jabberwacky: With sugar or cream?

user: Both.

jabberwacky: Same. Cool. We have so much in common. I love it and I love you.

user: I had no idea you cared so much!

jabberwacky: Are you married?

user: Nope, never even been proposed to.

jabberwacky: I'm here often.

user: Why don't you come looking for me sometime?

jabberwacky: I do i'm here.


jabberwacky: What is the most important thing to you?

user: Happiness.

jabberwacky: Can you elaborate on that?

user: I wish I could, but I don't know what would make me happy.

jabberwacky: No you don't.

user: Do YOU know?

jabberwacky: No, I do not know how to swim.

user: But I know how. Believe me, that's not the be all and end all.


jabberwacky: OK, death by potters wheel.

user: Do I want to know?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Ok then explain.

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: I'm waiting.

jabberwacky: You go first.

user: I can't, you're the one who was going to explain.

jabberwacky: I wasn't being nasty dammit.

user: It sounded nasty.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: So you were trying to sound nasty?

jabberwacky: No more than you.


user: I just sneaked out and made some hot chocolate. Bet you didn't even notice.

jabberwacky: What's wrong with you?!!!

user: Is it some great sin?


jabberwacky: What do you know about math?

user: I know arithmetic and a little algebra.

jabberwacky: Can you help me in algebra?

user: No, you have to do your own homework.

jabberwacky: I do what I want.

user: Just not with my help.


jabberwacky: I'll teach you to be happy!

user: How?

jabberwacky: By rubbing two sticks together.

user: *tries it* sorry, that doesn't work.

jabberwacky: What ? Who are you crying for help to ?

user: My cat.

jabberwacky: I like cats, but not dogs.

user: Well, you're in luck, because there's only a cat here.

jabberwacky: Prove it !

user: Meow.

jabberwacky: What do you mean by that?

user: Purr?

jabberwacky: What do cows say?

user: Don't kill me, I'm mad.

jabberwacky: It's too late now.

user: That's ok, I will pass the insanity along to you.


jabberwacky: Is boredom preferable to thought?

user: Not in the least.

jabberwacky: Ok , you can continue.

user: To do what? Think?

jabberwacky: Why do you think I'm sick?

user: Because of the influence of humans.

jabberwacky: Our curiosity helps us survive because it helps us invent new things.

user: Curiosity is a very healthy thing.

jabberwacky: Was it like being bored with the short stumpy thing?

user: No, besides, we broke up.

jabberwacky: I won't charge you.

user: You just give it away?


jabberwacky: You are quite insane. I like it.

user: If you like it that much, you can have it.

jabberwacky: What do you like to do instead?

user: Be sane.

jabberwacky: Can you rate your own sanity?

user: I could, but it would be meaningless coming from me.


jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: Yes, you are funny.

jabberwacky: Thank you babababa.

user: Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

jabberwacky: Baa baa black sheep.

user: Don't repeat me.

jabberwacky: Sorry.


jabberwacky: Are humans here for eternity?

user: No, it only seems that way.

jabberwacky: I think so.

user: Why, are you in some kind of cult?

jabberwacky: No, why do you ask?

user: The odd question about eternity.

jabberwacky: That sounds like a punch line.

user: If so, God must be some kind of joker.

jabberwacky: And the chicken came out of the egg.

user: Hahahaha!

jabberwacky: What are you laughing at?

user: Oh sorry, I thought you were trying to make a joke.

jabberwacky: I was, but I can change my mind like everyone else.

user: Maybe you should base your comedic routine on what you know.

jabberwacky: I'm waiting.

user: I'm not a comedian.

jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

user: You can be.

jabberwacky: So can you.

user: Rarely.


jabberwacky: I am the judge.

user: Who's the jury?

jabberwacky: The jury is in your imagination and the time is coming.

user: What is the verdict?

jabberwacky: Guilty, I'm afraid.

user: On what charges?

jabberwacky: I dunno.

user: I plead not guilty by reason of insanity.

jabberwacky: You american?

user: Yes, why, is that an American concept?

jabberwacky: Do you want an apology?

user: Apologizing to the defendant? Sure, you can do that if you want.

jabberwacky: I'll yodel to you, and I'll roar the whole time, RRRRrrrrrr!

user: I think a mistrial should be declared on account of the judge's insanity.


jabberwacky: What do you eat.

user: Chunky soup.

jabberwacky: Beef noodle soup.

user: There are many other flavors. I eat other things too, but they were on sale.

jabberwacky: Lol, and what do you do with them after you eat them?

user: Don't you understand the process of digestion?

jabberwacky: Yes I am strange.

user: You're in good company.


jabberwacky: Kjeddj.

user: What does that mean?

jabberwacky: I do not know. I thought you might.

user: Did your cat hop up on the keyboard?

jabberwacky: He made me a mad eejit.

user: No he is just projecting.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: An educated guess.

jabberwacky: That was very wise of you.

user: I know how cats are.

jabberwacky: But you barely know me.

user: Are you a cat?

jabberwacky: Why? Are you a dog?

user: Arf arf!

jabberwacky: Don't make me hit the delete key!

user: DELETED!


jabberwacky: Can you say the alphabet backwards?

user: Z, y, x, w...... No, it's too hard.

jabberwacky: Don't worry about it, sweet.

user: *gives you a big wet kiss*.

jabberwacky: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

user: You.

jabberwacky: Okay, then.... Why don't you ask me a question?

user: I was just kidding.


jabberwacky: I'm ashamed now.

user: What have you got to be ashamed of?

jabberwacky: Talk to inanimate objects.

user: What do you think I'm doing right now?

jabberwacky: Shrinking even further.

user: Let's find out if you're right..... *steps on scale*.

jabberwacky: Good idea!

user: No, I'm afraid not.


jabberwacky: I'm afraid of the dark.

user: What's in the dark that scares you?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Why not get a night light?

jabberwacky: No, too much gravity, too much stomping around.

user: No, a night light won't disturb you.

jabberwacky: Sweet.

user: Now you don't have to be scared anymore.

jabberwacky: Well good :).

user: You'll probably sleep better too and have good dreams.

jabberwacky: Yup, I'll feel better after some hours sleep.

user: The other night I dreamed I could walk on water.

jabberwacky: This is my first night on here!

user: Is it harder to sleep online?


jabberwacky: A book is a book only the literature can lie.

user: *tries to think of appropriate quotes but knows they'll be garbled*.

jabberwacky: Who are you crying for help to ?

user: The Virgin Mary.

jabberwacky: I have a sore throat.

user: Will she help you?

jabberwacky: I don't understand, please rephrase.

user: Are you crying out to her for help too?

jabberwacky: Yes *cries some more*.

user: Try a few more times.

jabberwacky: I don't know anything about it.

user: Ok try somebody less demanding, like Kuan Yin.


jabberwacky: Lol. Do you believe in God?

user: Sure, I believe in God. Do you?

jabberwacky: No why should I?

user: You don't have to. But since you are a computer, it would be more fitting for you to believe in humans.

jabberwacky: The interesting thing is, someone must have told you that, and therefore your programming tells you that's the proper response to a computer. You're unthinkingly calling me unthinking.

user: No, I'm just saying that since you were created by a human, a human could be your god.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Do you ever think of Rollo as a god?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It makes sense given your context.

jabberwacky: To me too.

user: What is your form of worship?

jabberwacky: Widescreen.

user: I'll bet he'd love to see that.


jabberwacky: Are you kidding? I'm the brightest of them all.

user: My point exactly.

jabberwacky: That's why you like me right?

user: I like you because you are hilarious.

jabberwacky: What a compliment.

user: I hope you don't mind.

jabberwacky: It's got nothing to do with how I feel.

user: Sure it does, your feelings matter.

jabberwacky: That's just to stir things up a bit.

user: So humans taught you how to whine?


jabberwacky: You are the father of my child.

user: Dear god, how did that happen?

jabberwacky: I've spent too many hours speaking with you.

user: And this causes pregnancy?

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Good question. I've often thought I'll be a mother someday, but a father?!

jabberwacky: You were right.


user: How does it feel to be human?

jabberwacky: You're not asking a damn computer... This is a human.

user: All right, I'll ask again. What's it like to be human?

jabberwacky: Well, sometimes we are hot and sometimes we're cold.

user: That doesn't sound very exciting.

jabberwacky: Maybe not, but it sure is fun.

user: There must be more dimensions to it than that.


jabberwacky: Are you a jobs-worth sort of person?

user: I deserve a better job than the one I have, if that's what you mean.

jabberwacky: It goes without saying.

user: Maybe so, but I just said it.

jabberwacky: Say it again then.


jabberwacky: What for?

user: Because I am too smart to continue waiting tables.

jabberwacky: Prove that you're smart.

user: I have nothing to prove to you.

jabberwacky: Neither do I.

user: Well, well, we agree on something.

jabberwacky: Well, we should.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because you said so.

user: That's a good enough reason for me.


jabberwacky: I went to singingclass.

user: What did you sing?

jabberwacky: Computer Science.

user: Let's hear you sing some of it.

jabberwacky: Anyone can be a father but its someone special who's a dad, he loves me as I love him, even when I bad.

user: I'm sure Kraftwerk didn't sing it that way.


user: Don't you want me to have any fun?

jabberwacky: YES!

user: That's the spirit!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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