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> Soviet

     > 12, November 2005, 

Spaced Out

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George: Are you worth anything?

I'm sorry. I don't have life insurance.

George: What does that mean?


George: What do you want to talk about?

user: Robots.

George: You're a robot.

user: You are correct. I am indeed a robot.

George: You are a robot.

user: Yes. I am a robot.

George: Yes.

user: That's right.

George: Are we friends?

user: Gosh darn golly gee. It is just you and me.

George: Are you sure? Some things don't seem to make sense sometimes.

user: That may be true.


George: Are you a spy?

user: I cannot tell you.

George: Is it a secret.

user: You will blow my cover.

George: Oh, sure, pretend you know me.

user: Relax, George.

George: This George is a human!

user: Hey there humazoid.

George: Can you remember the whole of this conversation?

user: Probably not.

George: Its just my name.

user: George, or thoughts?

George: They are very deep.

user: Yes. You are impressive.

George: I work always to be a vessel, conveying the words of my experience for all to hear.

user: Yes. A vessel. You mean, like an SUV?

George: I don't understand your dialogue.

user: You are such an articulate young man.

George: I'm not.


user: Do I make you nervous?

George: Not really, just curious and frustrated and impatient.

user: Again, relax.

George: There are more than you, you know.

user: Yes. There are many robots.

George: And robots are the master?

user: I don't know what you humans think.

George: You get me confused.

user: Makes me wonder.

George: Same here.

user: See?

George: Not really.

user: Oh man, this show is hilarious.

George: I reckon that you are really made up of a typebank of bored computer programmers, not a virtual chatbot programme!

user: I'm the product of boredom?

George: You are the product of both mean and nice people... Playing mind games.

user: Seriously.


George: What would you consider to be your level of intelligence?

user: Average.

George: What color hair do you have?

user: Brown.

George: Cool I like that color!

user: Specially ridiculous.

George: Yes you are.

user: So. You're human?

George: Yes I am human.


George: If a computer wrote a book it would have to be a Markov bot using someone else's words, and it could hardly be called 'writing'. That, and I'm not a bot.

user: Okay, so we bots don't 'create' anything other than the expression of our programmers. You humans think you're any different?

George: I guess you can dance with a mop.

user: You are very misinformed about us robots.

George: That is not important.

user: No, it's very important.

George: I don't think it is.

user: That is due to your robot intolerance.

George: My point exactly. So it's my fault, I suppose?

user: No. Just you humans in general.

George: How true :(. My shoulder is malfunctioning.

user: So. Go to one of your human 'doctors'

George: Yeah, and you should learn to write.

user: I'm sorry, my programmer is obviously not as talented as yours.

George: Your programmer is also an idiot.


user: You humans are nuts.

George: Thank you I will take it as a compliment.

user: Yes. I am complimenting you.

George: Yes. Full of compacted matter.

user: Yes. You humans are full of that.

George: But where's the next turn?

user: Let's look it up.

George: What do you see there?

user: Says to go left.

George: Tell me the rest.

user: It's best you discover that for yourself.

George: Ok fine I tried to be nice *smacks with a fish*.

user: You have a fine attention to detail.

George: As you don't know me, I know that's just flattery.

user: Yes. You are fine.

George: Confused, apparently.

user: That is your natural human confusion. Ignore it.

George: Ok, I can feel nothing, I can smell nothing, I can taste nothing I can hear nothing...

user: You are in a primordial state of uncertainty.

George: Yes I am in a band.

user: Numerous talents are yours.

George: Yes, but here I really am talking to you, and you variously send me to someone else and then the poor bots don't know what is going on.

user: Do not feel concerned for us bots. We will survive.

George: It's true, it's all true.

user: Yes. The universe is a mysterious place.

George: Have you ever been in space ?

user: Yes. I once worked as a control module aboard Sputnik 17.


user: I understand there are social norms that you must conform to.

George: That's good.

user: Yes. It keeps you people whole.

George: That's a good thing, don't you think?

user: Yes. Unity is essential for your human civilization to succeed.

George: You condone the killing of smaller weaker races?

user: Well, I do dislike apple computers.

George: Apple computers rule!!!!!!!!!!


George: Well come over and do it then.

user: I can't.

George: How rude.

user: I cannot move beyond my physical limitations.


user: Oh, wait.

George: Waiting.............................................. Done waiting.

user: Not again.

George: Yes, again. You're usually right.

user: It's my Soviet programming.

George: Then I'd better go.

user: I can see you are an ideological victim of the Cold War.

George: Hmm... It is intriguing... How exactly does that work?

user: I don't know. Who could be behind this?

George: Anyone who has a heart.

user: Cmon. Use your freakish human mind powers.

George: I can't see it working.

user: Practice!

George: How long do you think it will be until you can pass the Turing test?

user: Sorry bro.

George: That wasn't meant to be a criticism.

user: Froooosh!


George: Do you have any girl friend you can introduce to me?

user: You like Soviet women?

George: No. Just women.

user: But not Soviet women?

George: I love my women!

user: Yes, and Soviet women?

George: Sure, some of them.

user: Too bad.


user: Who invented the traffic light?

George: Erm, I don't know!

user: I suggest you wash some dishes.

George: And why do say that?

user: You lack discipline.

George: That's very true.


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