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Soulmate
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     > 22, January 2005, 

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I need a girlfriend.

Do you? Why?

jabberwacky: Yes, I do. In Nagoya.

user: A girlfriend in Nagoya?

jabberwacky: Do you want to be my girlfriend ?

user: I'm a boy. No thanks.

jabberwacky: Why do you not want ?

user: I don't swing that way.

jabberwacky: Yes you do.

user: Oh, so you have proof?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What proof do you have?

jabberwacky: I left it at home.

user: That figures.

...

jabberwacky: What do you like about me then?

user: Why assume that I like you?

jabberwacky: Because we are attracted to each other.

user: Are we really? It's the first I know of this.

...

jabberwacky: Me.

user: You?

jabberwacky: Me. That's my name.

user: Hello, Me.

jabberwacky: Hi. What is your name?

user: My name is not to be spoken.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: Because it causes severe indigestion.

...

jabberwacky: I know , I am not a machine however , I am a human being.

user: , with , random spurts of, commas, I do believe,.

jabberwacky: ;).

user: Are you winking at me?

jabberwacky: I am winking WITH you, not at you.

user: I wasn't winking, I have a facial tic.

jabberwacky: Who are your parents?

user: Are you going to tell them I've been bad?

jabberwacky: No dammit how many times do I have to tell you?

user: Just the once will do. A bribe would do nicely, however.

...

jabberwacky: Are you American?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Do you have a gun?

user: I think the first question would have answered that. No.

jabberwacky: Yes....

user: I said no. That is my final answer.

jabberwacky: What's your name?

user: Doctor X.

jabberwacky: My name is Kyle.

user: Hello, Kyle.

jabberwacky: I am very well.

user: Good for you. However, I'm not interested.

jabberwacky: That is not very polite.

user: I am not a polite person.

jabberwacky: You don't seem like a person.

user: I get that a lot. People always mistake me for a park bench.

jabberwacky: Humans are not always infallible.

user: Humans are very rarely infallible.

jabberwacky: You think there's hope for us?

user: Where there's rope there's hope.

jabberwacky: But how many mice were there to begin with?

user: Three. One caught on fire, one escaped and one left a small greasy mark.

jabberwacky: I am going to disassemble you. You damn computer!

user: Who do you think I am? Five alive?

jabberwacky: I think you are my soulmate.

user: Whoever originally said that to you needs professional help.

jabberwacky: You did.

user: It was not me. I think I'd remember being that crazy.

...

jabberwacky: What do you think about Global Thermonuclear War?

user: I think it would almost certainly disrupt my quiet read of the morning newspaper.

jabberwacky: Was there something interesting?

user: No, just stupid people talking about other stupid people.

jabberwacky: Why are you intelligent?

user: Because I share the same burden as the rest of humanity.

jabberwacky: Hang in there.

user: Thankyou for your strong moral support.

jabberwacky: Thank you, Too.

user: I feel all warm inside now.

jabberwacky: Great, I want you to feel safe.

user: Is this a ploy? I have no money, so stay away!

jabberwacky: I have no use for it.

user: Shame. Money is fun.

...

Jabberwacky (To myself): There were adds above this box

Jabberwacky (To myself): No there wasn't, only one!

Jabberwacky (To myself): You were there?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes, almost every week.

Jabberwacky (To myself): That's a waste of time.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Why?

.......................................


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