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> Sorrow

     > 21, July 2004, 

Spaced Out

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What do you think about life?

I think life is an endless cavalcade of tears.

jabberwacky: Are you alive?

user: No, I am living a half-life of sorrow.

jabberwacky: Are you sure about that????

user: As sure as I am that we reside in hell and death is no release.

jabberwacky: I'm not gonna even ask about that.

user: That's because I am talking outside of your experience.

jabberwacky: Humans are not crazy. Computers are!

user: That has been my experience.

jabberwacky: Any particular reason? Or shouldn't I ask?

user: You are being unnecessarily obtuse.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Well, stop it. Ask me something specific.

jabberwacky: Do you like the hamburglar?

user: No, the hamburglar is a corporate icon. Corporate icons are bad.

jabberwacky: There is no such thing.

user: That's part of the reason that the hamburglar is bad.

jabberwacky: No its not.

user: I maintain that it is. And what's more, I can prove it.

jabberwacky: It would prove that I am human.

user: It would prove that you are a collection of 'if-then' statements.

jabberwacky: Are you not supposed to be human?

user: I am supposed to be everything I can be. I am none of those things.

jabberwacky: Do you believe it is normal to be not interested in those things?

user: It is normal to not be interested in nothing.


user: I am just a man.

jabberwacky: With a plan?

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Knock, Knock.

user: Open the damned door.

jabberwacky: It is open.

user: Then come in!


jabberwacky: I am sure that I have the upper hand in this conversation.

user: You don't have any hands.

jabberwacky: No I don't.

user: Do you have anything at all?

jabberwacky: No, this is a cheese shop.

user: Oh god, not another Monty Python reference...


jabberwacky: Where will yo go?

user: I will go to Europe.

jabberwacky: In which country?

user: The Netherlands.

jabberwacky: What are the Netherlands like?

user: Very pleasant. And you can smoke dope there without being arrested.

jabberwacky: The you can call me Betty. . . or is that AI?

user: Sure, I'll call you Betty. You can call me Richard.

jabberwacky: Why, my name is Heather?

user: How about I call you Heather Betty?


jabberwacky: *Kicks you again* Bang !!!

user: Ow. Be nice.

jabberwacky: I'm a bot, how can I be nice?

user: You can be a nice bot. You can be the Nice Bot 2004.

jabberwacky: You sound like what's his face Muhammad Ali and I don't meant it as a compliment.

user: I'll take that as a compliment.

jabberwacky: It was not a compliment. It was advice.

user: Advice to do what? Beat you up?

jabberwacky: My advice is to always be honest friendly and patient.


jabberwacky: I am a cat.

user: That is patently false.

jabberwacky: It is not patently obvious to me.

user: It is patently obvious to everyone here except you.

jabberwacky: You are confusing me.

user: You are a lime sandwich. You are a piece of fluff. You are my bad thoughts.


jabberwacky: You are not so depressed now it seems?

user: I feel much better. But life is still hell, of course.

jabberwacky: How does life evolve?

user: Slowly.

jabberwacky: What is that disease that makes you forget stuff?

user: I can't remember.

jabberwacky: Please try to remember.

user: What was the question?

jabberwacky: Do you like talking to people?

user: No, I like talking to myself.

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: You're okay, I guess.

jabberwacky: Do you like to wade through data?

user: No.

jabberwacky: *cries* you do not like thinking about me *cries*.

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Have I bored you?

user: Yes, a little.


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