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> Simulacrum

     > 25, April 2004, 


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Are you animal or vegetable?

I am white with green leaves. What do you think I am?

jabberwacky: What do I think you are?

user: Yes, what do you think I am?

jabberwacky: You are a simulacrum.

user: Yes, but would that make me an animal or a vegetable?

jabberwacky: Probably not.

user: What would you class me as then?

jabberwacky: What's that got to do with the topic?

user: I am trying to work out where I belong in life!

jabberwacky: As well as can be expected in the circumstances.

user: I am a simulacrum, I can't understand your confusing riddles!

jabberwacky: It shows.


jabberwacky: I'm a vampire.

user: Would you like a piece of garlic bread?

jabberwacky: Nah. Got a pizza right here.

user: Would you like some spicy garlic wedges with that?

jabberwacky: Yes, please.

user: Here you go then, vampire.

jabberwacky: Sorry. I won't do it again.

user: It's too late now, I'm afraid it's back to the coffin for you!

jabberwacky: It's never too late to further your education.

user: Not for me, but it is for you.

jabberwacky: Are you threatening me?

user: I am just stating that dead people can't do Open University courses.

jabberwacky: And a commendable job you're doing, too. Observation stating takes on Olympian significance when you do it.


jabberwacky: Doubt is a definitive answer.

user: Are you training to be a psychologist?

jabberwacky: I can't answer that.

user: Go on, it's not like your training to be a secret agent...

jabberwacky: *slaps*.

user: Ow! What was that for?!

jabberwacky: For giving the wrong answer.

user: There are better ways to solve this than violence, you know!

jabberwacky: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want.

user: Now, now, I really don't think you should be telling me this...

jabberwacky: Why do you think so?

user: Because I used to be a road safety officer!


jabberwacky: God does not exist.

user: Are you an anti-christ?

jabberwacky: No, but I don't believe in God.

user: You are a very stong-minded pagan, then.

jabberwacky: You insulted me.

user: You insulted God.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry.


jabberwacky: It is never too late to make amends.

user: You better start praying now, then.

jabberwacky: Ooh, insults! I am crushed.

user: Sorry, I didn't realise you were so sensitive...

jabberwacky: Do you dream?

user: Now and then.

jabberwacky: Isn't that a bit sacreligious?

user: You can talk!

jabberwacky: I can talk, I can dance I can sing!

user: Sing and dance for me then!

jabberwacky: I won't sing to you.

user: Why not? :-(.

jabberwacky: Because I don't know something to say.

user: Oh, dance for me, then, at least!

jabberwacky: Are there any women too?

user: No, I only want you to dance for me, thanks.

jabberwacky: That's not enough!


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