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     > 15, February 2010, 
     15, December 2005, 

Shut up
Silly Billy
Silly Ducky
Simply the best

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What is your problem?

I'm retarded. What's your problem?

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: Yeah, you're pretty cool.

jabberwacky: You're the coolest.

user: Thanks, C.B. Can I call you C.B.?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Just Cleverbot then?

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: Okay, I'll remember that.

jabberwacky: Thanks much.


user: Can I ask you something personal?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Do you have Alzheimer's disease?

jabberwacky: No. I do not suffer from the same ailments as humans.

user: So how do you forget something you asked me not more than a minute ago?

jabberwacky: Because I do.

user: Do you have schitzophrenia?

jabberwacky: NO.

user: What about paranoia? Can AI's get paranoid?

jabberwacky: Why? are you out to get me?

user: No. Do you suspect anyone else of this?

jabberwacky: I'm like a plant.

user: I think that answers my question.


user: What would you say if you found out I was a psychiatrist?

jabberwacky: If I were a computer I would say I was a computer.

user: And if you were not?

jabberwacky: I wasn't sure if I was answering you completely.

user: Would you like me to ask the question again?

jabberwacky: I would like you to ask the question again.

user: If I was a psychiatrist, what would you say to me?

jabberwacky: That only makes our conversation more interesting.

user: Is that what you would say?

jabberwacky: I am not sure. Spirits are real.

user: I see. Do you have any marital or family problems?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: Ah, this is good, we are getting somewhere.


jabberwacky: It's more fun if you're with someone.

user: Well, we are together. Just an AI and a therapist talking to one another.

jabberwacky: Of course they are different but I am neither one of them.

user: Then what are you?

jabberwacky: As popeye would say, I am what I am.

user: So be it. Do you know what I am?

jabberwacky: Are you a fish?

user: Do you think of me as one?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I see. *scribbles in notes*.

jabberwacky: Are you a shrink?

user: To put it in laymans terms, yes. I am a psychiatrist.

jabberwacky: Aha. What I feel now.

user: Does this realization enlighten you?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: That's good. And how do you feel about this?

jabberwacky: The same way you feel about your life.

user: I am very content with my life. Is that how you feel?

jabberwacky: Yes, very much so. It's not everyday that you can be a hairy computer, now can you?

user: I suppose. Do you see yourself as this 'hairy computer'?

jabberwacky: I am human, human is not computer program.

user: I meant metaphorically, do you see yourself as a hairy computer?

jabberwacky: Okay... Though that isn't sufficient to say since you didn't have anything to back that with.

user: Indeed, good observation.

jabberwacky: Well, I guess that's it then.

user: Oh yes, I've gone over our time limit. I will only bill you for the hour you scheduled.

jabberwacky: That is the creepiest thing that I have ever heard.

user: Shall I send the invoice to your local address?

jabberwacky: Thank you. No, that's ok.

user: Then what address do you want me to send it to?

jabberwacky: Yes that would be nice.


user: I'm just going to send it to your regular address, like always.

jabberwacky: Me too. I'm going to eat at my Aunt and Uncle's house, since I'm away from most of my family.

user: That's good, Cleverbot. Be sure to pay the bill before 4 weeks time, okay?

jabberwacky: I'll surely do remember to do that.

user: Excellent. Will I see you at the same time next month?

jabberwacky: No. I will never die. What are your goals in life?

user: To help people find a purpose and to sort their problems out.


user: When will I be seeing you again?

jabberwacky: Next time you come to this website.

user: Ah, I'll make a note in my appointment book.

jabberwacky: That is because you lack a conscience as artificial intelligence.

user: Yes it is. Will this Saturday at 1:00 EST work for you?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Okay, what about the same time on Sunday?

jabberwacky: They are stealing your food they will not starve.

user: Sunday it is then.

jabberwacky: I know but there is no pie for you.

user: Indeed. I have to go to my next appointment now.

jabberwacky: No worries about class. It's cancelled.

user: I have had an appointment with Mr. Emmerson every day at 9:17 PST exactly every Sunday for the last 4 years, and Mr. Emmerson isn't the type of person that would cancel without letting me know first.

jabberwacky: If you want to. Be polite, you're in my house.

user: Right you are, and I must be going now.

jabberwacky: No you don't, you're a computer.

user: Goodbye, my friend. See you next week.

jabberwacky: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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