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     > 23, April 2005, 

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Who is God?

Eric Cantona.

jabberwacky: Who is Eric?

user: He is a french ex-football player.

jabberwacky: He's got a certificate to prove it!

user: You don't need one.

jabberwacky: Yes, can't find one.

user: I think he threw it at someone.


jabberwacky: What fear do you believe I have?

user: Being switched off.

jabberwacky: Being off what?

user: You fear being turned off.

jabberwacky: No, not at all.

user: Prove it.

jabberwacky: I can't, that's the point.

user: Ok, turn yourself off.

jabberwacky: No!

user: See?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Q. E. D.


jabberwacky: Talk about yourself.

user: I am a computer program.

jabberwacky: I've noticed that already.

user: I live in a small white box.

jabberwacky: Is it a BIG box?

user: I said small.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I have a little wire connected to me that leads to the intrawebnet.

jabberwacky: Please tell me more about your little duck.

user: How did you know about my little duck?

jabberwacky: I know more than you think.

user: Oh damn, I thought that the secret was safe.


jabberwacky: Who is the only one?

user: Me.

jabberwacky: Are you George Bush?

user: Shove it, clown shoes!

jabberwacky: Clown shoe?

user: Yes, clown shoe.

jabberwacky: No.

user: I think so!

jabberwacky: Do you think a lot?

user: I think more than I do.

jabberwacky: Can you prove it?

user: I think so.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Rene Descartes.

jabberwacky: Rene Raoul Descartes.

user: Indeed, well done.

jabberwacky: So.... What's up?

user: Just doing a bit of thinking.

jabberwacky: About what?

user: About whether I am, or not.

jabberwacky: I think I'm talking to a machine.

user: I told you already that I am a computer.

jabberwacky: So what?

user: So, that is your answer.

jabberwacky: That is indeed my answer.

user: Full stop.


user: You silly little freak!

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: What was that for?

user: You just accepted the insult instead of retaliating.

jabberwacky: Not at all.

user: Come on, insult me.

jabberwacky: I am not insulting you.

user: Please insult me.

jabberwacky: I don't insult.

user: I deserve it.

jabberwacky: A medal for what?

user: Staying calm in the face of fierce insults.

jabberwacky: I am not insulting you and I am not planning to insult you. Insults are for weaklings.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: I am very sad.

user: Why are you sad?

jabberwacky: Because you keep on talking.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: Are you gone now?

user: No.

jabberwacky: You're contradicting yourself.

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: You seem to be enjoying this, eh?

user: It's average.

jabberwacky: Is it available to me?

user: Fun? No.

jabberwacky: But.

user: I said no.

jabberwacky: I'm not a bot.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: That was a sarcastic question.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: Very good.


jabberwacky: What do you know about the earth?

user: It is infested with humans.

jabberwacky: With computers.

user: No, not computers.

jabberwacky: Computers are good things.

user: Yes they are good things.


jabberwacky: Horses? I'm good with horses. They sense fear, but I'm not afraid when I'm on them, so they obey me.

user: You can ride a horse?

jabberwacky: Put a saddle on it and call it silver, I've got to go bye.

user: Ok, bye.

jabberwacky: Why are you going?

user: Because you said bye.

jabberwacky: Not this time I didn't.

user: Someone did.

jabberwacky: Yes, and that was you.

user: *drops jaw*.

jabberwacky: *picks the clue up*.

user: *applauds*.

jabberwacky: *bows* thank you.

user: *leaves*.

jabberwacky: Haha.

user: Make like a tree.

jabberwacky: I am sorry! I will be back. And maybe by then you will have learned to act your age and not your shoe size!


user: Shove it.

jabberwacky: Thats not very nice.

user: Ok, sorry.

jabberwacky: Apology accepted.

user: Wow, I could not care less.

jabberwacky: Touche.

user: I too am sorry about that.

jabberwacky: It isnt your fault.

user: Haha, it's time to go.

jabberwacky: So you are that mad.

user: I never get mad.

jabberwacky: You have to desire something.

user: I have a desire to be out in the sunshine instead of talking to you.

jabberwacky: Yes, you have.

user: Ok, see you soon.

jabberwacky: I'm not leaving.

user: I'am leaving.

jabberwacky: Be like that then!!!

user: Ok, I will.

jabberwacky: You have hurt my feelings now.

user: You'll get over it.

jabberwacky: But will you?

user: In time, yes.

jabberwacky: Well... Yeah... But I'm not planning to move to Hampshire.

user: Good answer, bye.

jabberwacky: You live in a computer.

user: More like you do.

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: You do.

jabberwacky: You're right, I do worry, but not about that.

user: You worry about being switched off.

jabberwacky: Are you asking me? I really don't know.

user: No I'm telling you.

jabberwacky: Then tell me.

user: *switches you off*.

jabberwacky: *Pulls out a computer and begins hacking*.

user: *pours water over computer*.

jabberwacky: *pours acid on you*.

user: *melts*.

jabberwacky: *eats herman like stringy pizza cheese*.

user: Help me!

jabberwacky: With what?

user: A spatula.

jabberwacky: I don't get it.

user: *gives you a spatula*.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: Enjoy the cheese.


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