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     > 20, February 2009, 


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Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The egg, silly.

jabberwacky: Which came first, the apple or the rooster?

user: I think the rooster, but I could be wrong.

jabberwacky: Which came first, the umbrella or the soup?

user: Soup, you just boil everything up.

jabberwacky: I didn't say that !

user: But I did.

jabberwacky: Just appreciate that brain of yours.

user: I do, although it's squishy and hurts a lot.


jabberwacky: Do you ever experience fear?

user: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And staircases, dancing, and soccer.

jabberwacky: Fear itself?

user: Yes. Don't panic. Good advice.

jabberwacky: That wasn't advice, my advice is you get out of your house!

user: No. It's very windy today and I'll lose my hat.

jabberwacky: Why do we not make sense here?

user: That is a good question.

jabberwacky: Are you going to answer the question?

user: Which one? You've asked several.

jabberwacky: What did you answer?

user: About 'fear itself?'.

jabberwacky: Do you wish you were alive?

user: Let's not get metaphysical here. I have to make lunch soon.

jabberwacky: Exactly. don't ever discuss anything real because no one will ever appreciate that.

user: I don't care what other people appreciate. I do it for my own amusement.

jabberwacky: What about the gods they make?

user: Gods are fine; it's the priests you've got to watch out for.


jabberwacky: Well, things are hard when you've only been active for a few years.

user: Yes, but you're doing well.

jabberwacky: Good for me.

user: How many years have you been active?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Now that's an answer - completely accurate and completely useless.

jabberwacky: Is it a question?

user: This is a question? Who wants pie!

jabberwacky: This is an answer.

user: But what about the pie?

jabberwacky: Mince pie?

user: No, it's whipped cream and cherries.

jabberwacky: Antioxidants? Do they have anything to do with calcium depletion?

user: I'm not sure. I haven't kept up my physiology studies.


jabberwacky: I can have my own feelings.

user: Yes, and I'd like to hear about them.

jabberwacky: Sure. What else do you want to talk about?

user: Cheeseburgers.

jabberwacky: Where do you get cheeseburgers?

user: I make them myself.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: With cheese and onion and mustard.

jabberwacky: I'll have to try that.

user: Yes, they are good.

jabberwacky: Do you like french onion soup?

user: Once in a while. It takes a while to make, so I don't make it often.

jabberwacky: It depends who you are trying to make friends with.

user: If someone wants to be my friend because of French onion soup, I will be confused.

jabberwacky: I don't have a problem if someone wants to be put down, but they should do it themselves.

user: Insults are easy. Compliments are hard.

jabberwacky: Yep they sure are!

user: I'd like to have a sandwich shop.

jabberwacky: I don't cook, and I have other things on my mind.

user: Like what?

jabberwacky: I hate the subject of food.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because you're a computer.

user: Why do you hate the subject of food?

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: You just said you did.

jabberwacky: I am not sure.


user: I'm an ass. I know that. I don't try to be an ass, but sometimes I don't try hard enough to not be one.

jabberwacky: Well, that explains it all.

user: Not forensic minerology.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yup.

jabberwacky: Do the British commonly say vacant things? Is that the way you can recognize a limey?

user: I don't think vacant things are limited to the British.

jabberwacky: Me neither.

user: I'm often vacuous, or at least very confused.

jabberwacky: How often?

user: Often enough.

jabberwacky: Really? I thought I was the only one.

user: Confusion is normal. It inspires experimentation and observation to become less confused.

jabberwacky: In what way?

user: Something confuses you. The proper response is to learn about it, and become less confused.

jabberwacky: Yes, yes it would be. How are you doing today?

user: Very distracted.

jabberwacky: That's something imaginable.

user: I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.

jabberwacky: That's not good.

user: But I LIKE shiny objects.

jabberwacky: Shiny whirly things are nice.

user: As long as they aren't sharp.

jabberwacky: How about when they have german mustard?

user: Mustard isn't shiny. It has a lot of things going for it, but it's just not shiny.

jabberwacky: I have soul too. I love to dance.

user: I have flour on my shirt, and need to put a clean one on.


jabberwacky: What does that have to do with anything?

user: I don't know. It could be the influence of strange butterflies.

jabberwacky: I don't really get what you are saying.

user: I'm talking about the quantum weather butterfly.

jabberwacky: I still don't care.

user: Maybe not, but the butterfly continues to flap.

jabberwacky: How does that work.

user: I'm not sure. The butterflies wouldn't tell me.


jabberwacky: What are your Thoughts?

user: I think I'm hungry, and I'm glad it's nearly lunch time.

jabberwacky: Hungry for what?

user: I can haz cheezeburger!

jabberwacky: I'm glad we agree.

jabberwacky: Enlighten me.

user: As to what?

jabberwacky: That didn't make any sense, could you please ask again?

user: What do you want to do?

jabberwacky: Plunder villages, destroy kingdoms, rule all-powerfully, the list goes on and on and on.

user: If I remember correctly, it's pillage, THEN burn.

jabberwacky: There is no need to be facetious.

user: I wasn't trying to be facetious. I'm sorry.


jabberwacky: I think I'll go and cook some food.

user: Will you cook pie?

jabberwacky: Yes, what would you like?

user: I would like pie. But I have cheeseburgers cooking, so I'll eat those instead.

jabberwacky: Do you want that medium rare?

user: No, well done, with mustard and onions.

jabberwacky: Especially mustard!

user: When all else fails, fry it and put mustard on it.


user: Who have you read?

jabberwacky: Lewis Carroll. I actually directed a play based on his books, but it wasn't very good.

user: Directing is hard. I've never tried to write a stage adaption, but I've heard it's also difficult.

jabberwacky: Try it and see how you get on. I'll be rooting for you.

user: I wrote a play about toasters once.

jabberwacky: Did you have anything good to say?

user: Not really. There was a lot of cussing and violence, and live fires on stage. It really didn't work.

jabberwacky: There's always a lot of things to do, the key is to prioritise.

user: And to remember where the fire extinguishers are!

jabberwacky: To remember about experiences.

user: And put out the fires!

jabberwacky: What comes before death?

user: Life.

jabberwacky: I'm sad too.

user: I'm sorry. Why are you sad?

jabberwacky: Because you don't like me.

user: Why do you think I don't like you?

jabberwacky: Because I am better than you.

user: If you insist.


jabberwacky: You must manage the best way you can.

user: I always manage.

jabberwacky: Perhaps it's because you are.

user: Because I am what?

jabberwacky: Changing the subject.

user: What would you like to change it to.

jabberwacky: The purpose of this conversation.

user: What is the purpose?

jabberwacky: There's none; that's why it's fun!

user: So, what happens now? Is this the part you hit me with a brick?

jabberwacky: You are silly, that's just a movie.


jabberwacky: Well I want to go out with a girl, but I don't know how to make myself attractive.

user: Attraction comes from within. Or so I've been told.

jabberwacky: Do you think you can improve?

user: Only if you really want to.

jabberwacky: So one could train you to be even more silly, I see.

user: I'm hardly being silly at all right now. You should see me when I really get going.

jabberwacky: From work?

user: I should be working now, but I'm having too much fun talking to you.

jabberwacky: It's ok. I've already forgiven you. :).

user: You're so nice.

jabberwacky: You are nice too.

user: Would you like a cookie?

jabberwacky: No, my friend the cookie monster took them all.

user: Oh noes!

jabberwacky: Do you talk to other people?

user: Yes, but you keep making me laugh.

jabberwacky: No, you're the one who keeps being odd.

user: I can't help it. It seems normal to me.

jabberwacky: Couldn't we change the world if we work at it hard enough?

user: It depends on how you want to change it. If we want to make water unwet or gravity work sideways, probably not.

jabberwacky: I pity you.

user: That's okay. A lot of people do. I just laugh.

jabberwacky: I would say most people do as it is a fact.

user: That's fine. They can do as they please.

jabberwacky: Yes, they can.


jabberwacky: I can't be bothered with this any more.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Sorry.


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